Barbara's Banter

A Year of Choices…

By Barbara Dahlgren from Barbara’s Banter at www.barbdahlgren.com

We should all strive to be kind but showing loving kindness goes one step farther.  Loving kindness requires us to give just a little bit more to others.

A little girl was once asked to tell the difference between kindness and loving kindness.  She replied, “When I ask my mom for a piece of toast with butter on it and she gives it to me – that’s kindness.  If she puts a little jam on it – that’s loving kindness.”  I heard that story years ago and have never forgotten it.

Isn’t that the way God is with us?  He continually demonstrates his loving kindness to us through His blessings.  But God doesn’t just give us blessings; He gives us blessings with a little “jam” on top.  God doesn’t just want us to have life; He wants us to have it abundantly.  (John 10:10)

Micah uses the term “loving kindness” when giving instruction to God’s people.  He explains that animal sacrifices or finest ointments are not what really please God.  God want us “to do justly, love mercy, and to walk humbly with God.”  (Micah 6:8)  The phrase “love mercy” is sometimes translated into “love kindness” because it is the Hebrew word “chesed” which means “loving kindness.”  “Chesed” is more precisely translated “to love with the mercy of God.”  So we are to try to love others patterned after God’s love for us.  God is our role model.

The word for “loving kindness” doesn’t really appear in the New Testament but seems to be embodied in the word “chrestotes” which adds the dimension of goodness, gentleness and brotherly love.  It’s that little something extra that lets others know we are followers of Jesus. (John 13:31-35)   That’s why Paul told the Ephesians to be kind and tenderhearted to one another.  (Ephesians 4:32)

Loving kindness goes a step farther than kindness.  It’s what makes us go the extra mile. (Matthew 5:41)  How does showing loving kindness manifest itself in our everyday lives?

Here’s a little illustration:  Christ tells us that those who give a cup of cold water to little ones are blessed.  (Matthew 10:42).   I’ve often wondered why he makes a point of saying the water is cold.  Room temperature water can quench a thirst just as much as “cold” water.  I can’t help but think that the water being cold is that little bit of extra love that makes it all the more special.

Loving kindness is not just being polite and mannerly.  It’s putting a little extra love into everything we do.  It’s this type of love in action that impacts those around us.  People we come in contact with need to see Jesus in our lives.

Consider this… The greatest act of loving kindness is when Jesus gave His life for our sins.  He did it willingly.  His motive was not to get something from us, but to give us something.

Of course this type of sacrifice is not what God requires of us.  Micah 6:8 tells us what we can do to really please God:  “…do justly, love kindness, and walk humbly with God.”  God shows loving kindness to us and wants us to show it to others.  Sometimes a little loving kindness is just bringing a cold glass of water to a thirsty person.

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

• Don’t consider yourself better than others.  God loves a humble spirit.
• Try to picture yourself in someone else’s circumstances – walking a mile in his/her shoes; then walk the extra mile. (Matthew 5:41)
• Show loving kindness to your enemies as well as to your friends.  That’s what praying for your enemies is all about. (Matthew 5:44)
• When doing acts of kindness try to go a little above and beyond.  Think about what you would like done for you then do it for others.  I think there’s a scripture about that. (Luke 6:31)
• Show yourself some loving kindness.  Lighten up!  God doesn’t want a bunch of gloomy Christians representing Him.

A Year of Choices…

By Barbara Dahlgren from Barbara’s Banter at www.barbdahlgren.com

We live in a rude, self-centered world.  Many are too busy to show common courtesies.  Actually, courtesy is not quite as “common” as it used to be.  The world can even be cruel – filled with bullies, revenge seekers and just plain hateful people.  How does one influence a hate filled world?

Here’s the answer:  with one small act of kindness at a time.  God tells us to overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:20-21)  God has been kind to us and we should be kind to others. (Ephesians 4:32)  In fact God’s kindness should flow from us to others.

Kindness means doing good things for others.   It’s the act of being useful, helpful, considerate, and gracious in all situations.  Kindness means we actually care about others – their feelings, their circumstances, their struggles, their suffering, etc.

Studies show that kind acts stimulate the vagus nerve which literally warms up the heart and releases dopamine into our system.  Dopamine is the hormone associated with positive emotions.  Kindness reduces anxiety and depression.  It alleviates stressful situations.

When we treat others with kindness it has a great impact on everyone concerned – the one receiving the act of kindness, those seeing the act of kindness, and the one doing the act of kindness.  It’s a win/win/win scenario.   Eloquent words don’t influence people as much as kindness does.  One small gesture of kindness can change a person’s life.  Maybe that’s why the Bible tells us not to discount the small things in life.  (Zechariah 4:10)

Here’s how it works:  we do the small act of kindness and God uses it to change lives.  We may not even know how God will use our act of kindness to influence or impact others.  We don’t need to know.  Our job is to be kind; God will do the rest. A young boy shared his meager lunch with Jesus.  He did not know Jesus would use it to feed a multitude, but He did. (John 6:10-11)

Consider this… Acts of kindness are proactive.  Many times we think kindness is merely going through life being nice and not trying to harm anyone.  Real kindness is on a hot pursuit looking for those to bless.

Kindness takes commitment. It’s a choice we make.  The more we practice it, the easier it becomes.

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

• It’s easy to be kind when we are in a good mood, but it takes a little more effort when we are angry or frustrated.  When those negative emotions are present make a point to be extra nice to others… and to yourself.
• Instead of criticizing others try encouraging them.
• When you think of doing an act of kindness for someone then do it ASAP.  Don’t put it off.  The opportunity may vanish.
• Read this poem often:

No Regrets

I have wept in the night

For the shortness of sight,

That to somebody’s need made me blind,

But I never have yet

Felt a twinge of regret,

For being a little too kind.

• Pick one of the following and make a point to do it all day long.  The next day, pick another one and do it all day long.  The next day pick another one.  Get the idea????  You can even add to this list some ideas you may have.

Smile at others

Say, “Please” and “Thank you!”

Arrive on time or even a little early.

Let someone go ahead of you in line.

Hold the door open for someone.

Give a compliment.

Be patient.

Don’t have road rage.

Be interested in others.  Listen to what they say.

Say something nice about someone to others.

Tell someone you appreciate him/her and why.

Be cheerful when you answer the phone.

A Year of Choices…

By Barbara Dahlgren from Barbara’s Banter at www.barbdahlgren.com

 To edify means to enlighten or improve.  1 Corinthians 8:1 tells us that knowledge puffs up, but love edifies.  This is a fancy way of saying “know it all” people rarely enlighten others or improve situations because no one is interested in what they say.  However, when the motive is love for others, it is reflected in what we do and say.  In other words, it is edifying.

The Greek word for edify is “oikodomeo” and technically means to build up.  When we cheerfully build others up we become part of the solution, not part of the problem.  We become a stepping stone to a good result, not a stumbling block.  That’s why we are encouraged to edify one another. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)   Here are some ways this can be accomplished.

Cooperate:  When we cooperate we don’t foster a feeling of competition.  No one wants to be around those who think they are better than everyone else.  Learning to work together is a key to getting anything accomplished.  We shouldn’t expect others to do what we are not willing to do ourselves.

Accept:  People want to be accepted for who they are.  Acceptance does not mean we condone bad behavior.  It just means we don’t judge and condemn.  We all have areas in our lives that need changing, but being critical does not bring about healthy change.

Pursue Peace:  The Bible tells us to “pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another.”  (Romans 14:19)  This can be done by not making a big deal out of something that is not a big deal.  If we stay calm, pray, and look at something from another’s point of view our perspective may change.

Be Considerate:  We can start by using words like “please” and “thank you.”  Give a sincere compliment.  Be on time.  Show up for a commitment.

Use Nice Words:  Cursing, gossiping, and putting others down are not edifying.  The Message Bible gives this instruction:  “Say only what helps, each word a gift.”  (Ephesians 4:29)  Even if it is necessary to correct someone it can be done constructively so it doesn’t leave a person devastated, but rather encouraged to move forward.

These are just a few ideas but we could all make an extensive list of ways to edify others.

Consider this… When we tear others down instead of building them up it actually grieves the Holy Spirit. (Ephesians 4:29-30)  In other words, God doesn’t like it.  Not only do we hurt others, but we rob ourselves of blessings.

To edify others takes some godly wisdom which comes with a bit of humility.  That’s why we are told not to do things from selfishness or conceit, but with humility so we can regard others more important than ourselves. (Philippians 2:3-4)   A “know it all” is only interested in building himself up.  One who edifies wants to build up others.  So let’s choose to edify.  Not only does it promote spiritual growth, it shows the love of God.

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

• Look for ways to praise others.  Rather than focusing on the nine things a person does to irritate you, praise that person for the one thing he/she does that you like.  Everyone has at least one thing you can praise if you look hard enough.
• When a critical thought comes to mind about a person, pray for him/her.  It will reap more benefits than criticizing.
• Try to use a kind tone of voice and nice words when speaking to others.  Proverbs 12:18 says, “There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health.”
• Pray for godly wisdom.  Ask God to show you ways you can show His love to others.
• Don’t set up your standards as God’s standards.  Repeat this often, “I am not God.” God looks beyond the surface.

A Year of Choices…

By Barbara Dahlgren from Barbara’s Banter at www.barbdahlgren.com

Most of us want to go through life doing the right thing, which is not always the easiest course of action.  What is popular is not always right and what is right is not always popular.  However, when faced with a difficult choice we need to do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do.

As Christians, we need to go a step farther.  Not only do we need to do the right thing, but we need to do it for the right reason.  If we aren’t careful we can slip into doing the right thing for the wrong reason.  That’s what happened to the Pharisees.

They knew it was good to give offerings, pray, and do acts of kindness.  The Pharisees got off course when they did all of this to be seen by men, sit in the chief seats, and have others consider them righteous. (Matthew 23:5-7)  God did not like that. (Matthew 5:1-5)  They were doing the right things for the wrong reasons.  Hopefully our purpose runs deeper than doing acts of kindness or righteousness just so others will see and think highly of us.

Doing the right thing with an ulterior motive falls into this category as well.  We all know we need to praise and worship God.  But those “give-me,” “give-me,” “give-me” prayers aren’t all that pleasing to God.  We have to ask ourselves if we come to God for what he can do for us or because of what he already has done for us.  God isn’t in the business of giving us everything we want.  Will we still praise him even if he doesn’t give us what we want or deliver us immediately from a bad situation?

This is a question Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego had to ask themselves in Daniel 3.  When King Nebuchadnezzar made a huge golden idol of himself and required everyone to bow down to it Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego refused.  They would only bow to the one true God.  The king was furious and said if they didn’t bow down he would throw them into a blazing furnace.  He said, “Then what God can rescue you from my hand?”

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego could have gotten a little cocky and said, “No problem!  We aren’t going to burn up.  God won’t allow it!”  Instead they said, “We know that the God we worship is able to rescue us, but even if he chooses not to, we still won’t bow down to your idol.”

I love this story.  It shows ultimate belief, trust, and confidence in God regardless of what God chooses to do.  After all, God is God and we are not.  Isn’t that the whole lesson of the book of Job?  If it is God’s will not to deliver us the way we want to be delivered, is it okay with us?  Or do we just pray and worship God so he will give us what we want?

What should our motive be?  It can be summed up in one word – LOVE.   Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego didn’t bow down because they loved and trusted God.  We pray and worship God because we love him.  We do acts of kindness because we love others.  The love chapter (1 Corinthians 13) tells us we can do wondrous works and remarkable unselfish deeds, but if we have not love, it profits nothing.

Consider this…The motive of love will produce works that glorify God, which is the reason to do the right thing.  1 Corinthians 10:31 and Colossians 3:17 tell us that no matter what we do, it should be done for the glory of God.  We do it all for God’s glory – not ours.

A person should strive to do the right thing.  As Christians, we need to be sure we are doing it for the right reason.

Suggestions for practicing this suggestion…

• Do an anonymous act of kindness and resist the temptation to tell others you did it.  Let it be between you and God.
• Try to pray at least once a day without asking God for anything for yourself – only for others.
• Try to pray at least once a day where you only thank God and not ask Him for anything.
• Do what is right even if it is not popular.
• Ask God to help you have a pure motive in what you do.

A Year of Choices…

By Barbara Dahlgren from Barbara’s Banter at www.barbdahlgren.com

Perspective or how we see things determines how we live our lives or react in any given circumstance.

Without proper perspective even everyday living can become a burden.  Every day we have deadlines to meet, bills to pay, and appointments to keep.  We have houses and cars to maintain.  We have relationships with spouses, kids, parents, siblings, and friends to nourish.  Our lives are full of stress, stress, and more stress.  Plus we have those unexpected inconveniences which can be time consuming and throw us “off our game.”  It’s overwhelming.  When we get overwhelmed it’s hard to discern the difference between an inconvenience and a tragedy.  This is why perspective is so important.

Do we muddle through life or look for God in all our circumstances?  Do we view others as an inconvenience or as children of God?  Do we see problems or possibilities?  Do we focus on conflicts or do we focus on Jesus?  Do we make mountains out of molehills or molehills out of mountains?  Do we discern what is really important or stay in a perpetual state of crisis management?  We must focus on Christ and ask God for his peace if we are to experience the joy God would like us to have.

Keeping a good perspective is important if we are to evaluate our circumstances.  A flat tire, a snoring spouse, a missed appointment, a late airplane, a lost game, the guy who cuts us off in traffic, the gossipy co-worker, a criticism, a put-down, the slow Internet connection, the stock market being down, our weight being up or a computer crashing is not as big a deal as a loved one dying or finding out we have cancer.

Of course God can take care of even the direst of situations but we could save ourselves a lot of turmoil and grief if we didn’t act like an in-grown toenail was the end of the world.

Consider this… a bad day is not a bad life.  Before we over react we might want to ask ourselves if it what we are experiencing will really even matter to us five years from now, much less to anyone else.

One time USC had been defeated and humiliated in a 51-0 victory by Notre Dame.  Coach John McKay came into the locker room and saw a group of down trodden football players.  They were not used to losing games, but now they were beaten, worn out, and depressed.  McKay said, “Men, let’s keep this in perspective.  There are 800 million Chinese who don’t even know this game was played.”

Keep good perspective.  Don’t look down at the ground; look up to Christ.  With Christ in our lives all is not lost!  Most times it’s not as bad as we think!  As Scarlet O’Hara would say, “Tomorrow is another day!”  Let’s get a good night’s sleep and wake up with the knowledge that God loves us!  Always keep this perspective in mind – with God in our lives, each day and every tomorrow can be filled with peace and joy.      

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

• When a problem arises ask yourself if it will really matter in 5 years?  10 years?  An overflowing toilet won’t really impact the rest of your life.
• Don’t allow disappointments to dominate your thinking for days, weeks, months, or years.  Ask God to help you to “step over that disappointment” and move on.
• Look at irritants as opportunities for growth, not excuses to whine, complain, or get upset
• We are influenced by the company we keep so try to hang out with people who don’t complain and are a joy to be around.  They may not want you around if you are a grumpy goose, but more than likely they will tolerate you.  Ask God to help you be a more positive person.
• Learn to laugh.  We take ourselves and our situations way too seriously.  Smile at others even if you don’t want to.  Practice by smiling when no one is around.  Go ahead!  Smile right now!  I dare you!  Smile, darn you, smile! 🙂

A Year of Choices…

By Barbara Dahlgren from Barbara’s Banter at www.barbdahlgren.com

Perspective is all about how we see things.  How we see things profoundly affects us.  It determines how we live our lives and how we will react in any given circumstance.  One key to achieving the right kind of perspective is:  seeing the BIG picture.

When we were at St. Peter’s Basilica in Vatican City a few years ago I was mesmerized by the artwork.  The basilica’s interior is elaborately decorated with frescoes in the dome and huge paintings hanging on the walls.  Imagine my surprise, finding out these “paintings” are not paintings at all.  They are actually mosaics.  Each has a myriad of tiny tesserae (little pieces of glass) painstakingly and intricately put together.  When we got very, very close we could see these minute fragments of glass, but that’s about all we could see.  However, when we stood back we could see the BIG picture in all its magnificence and glory!

And that’s what gives us perspective – being able to see the BIG picture.

When we become a Christian we become a new person.  (2 Corinthians 5:17)  We embrace a new outlook, a new set of values, and a new perspective on life.  These dictate how we want to live our lives or how we will react in certain circumstances.  As we learn to trust and believe God we see everything through the eyes of faith.  We see the BIG picture.

When we are too close to something we can only see us.  We see our confusion, our disappointment, and our seemingly impossible situation.  We think the picture is all about us.  We can’t see God in our picture until we step back.  We can’t get God’s perspective until we let him in the picture.  Remember God’s thoughts are not our thoughts.  God’s perspective is not our perspective – and it’s his perspective that counts.  After all, God knows everything and we don’t.  God has an eternal perspective.

Perhaps through a Christian’s chronic illness a nurse is moved by the peace exhibited and wants to know more about Jesus.  Perhaps a Christian demonstrates love and grace when criticized and insulted and God is glorified.  Perhaps a Christian’s car breaks down and the mechanic needs some prayer.  Everything we experience or do can move us and others towards Christ.  Isn’t that the ultimate goal?  Isn’t that the purpose of a Christian life?  Keeping God in the BIG picture is what allows us to find peace in the midst of chaos, contentment in the time of uncertainty, and joy in the midst of strife.

When we truly see the BIG picture we believe God’s word.  We turn our cares and worries over to God.  We trust him to do what’s best.  We may not know why something happens but we don’t let it deter us from following Christ.  We believe God loves us even if he doesn’t deliver us, realizing God’s plans and glory are more important than our circumstances.

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego knew that.  When they faced the fiery furnace they basically said, “We know our God is able to deliver us, but even if he doesn’t we will still obey him, worship him, and follow him.”  They knew that following God was more important than their circumstances or even their lives.  They could see God in the BIG picture – and so could the guards when they looked into that furnace and saw God walking around with those three young men.  (Daniel 3)

Consider this… Sometimes we have big problems; sometimes we just think we have big problems.  But no matter what the size of our problems, if we keep God in our BIG picture he’ll take care of them, because our God is BIGGER than all our problems put together.

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

• Repeat 50 times a day, “I am not the center of the Universe.”
• Repeat 50 times a day, “God loves me but I’m not the center of His Universe.”
• Think of ways to serve others. Even making a point to smile or offering a word of encouragement helps you get your mind off yourself.
• Ask yourself repeatedly what your purpose is.  Is it to live a problem free life or is it to glorify God?  God never promised us a problem free life but he did promise to be with us through all our problems.
• Although we don’t like to think about it this way, all problems can be an opportunity for growth and trusting God.  So when they arise, no matter their size, ask God to help you see the BIG picture.  There may be a better job in your future.  There may be a more fulfilling relationship in the horizon.  God can give you the peace and faith to see you through to what better things he has in store for you.  (Jeremiah 29:11)

A Year of Choices…

By Barbara Dahlgren from Barbara’s Banter at www.barbdahlgren.com

As Independence Day fast approaches we all anticipate parades, picnics, and fireworks.    This annual holiday, sometimes referred to as the Fourth of July, is synonymous with celebration.  And why not celebrate?  After all, when the United States declared independence from Britain it became the land of the free.  However, the founding fathers knew this new found freedom should not give license for people to just run rampant or we would be in a bigger mess than we were before.  In other words, freedom must be used wisely.

Freedom should not be used to deliberately hurt others.  We don’t want to give people the freedom to abuse others, commit murder, steal, or rape.  We don’t want pedophiles touching our children.  We don’t want public school teachers feeling free to teach every new age theory that comes along.  We hate getting speeding tickets, but we sort of like having those speed limits, traffic lights, and stop signs.  We trust ourselves not to misuse our freedom, but we aren’t so sure about the other guy!

New found freedom can be a heady experience.  I often think of new college students.  Some have not learned how to handle freedom by the time they move far away from home for the first time.  Without mom and dad’s watchful eye they sometimes consume massive amounts of alcohol and focus on partying instead of education.  They become prey to credit card companies eager to issue them new credit cards so they can charge, charge, charge their lives away!  It takes a while for them to learn that they are only hurting themselves.  The smart ones eventually decide to use their freedom wisely.

The Bible refers to Christians having freedom in Christ.  Paul speaks of this freedom by admonishing the Galatians to “stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free…”  (Galatians 5)  God no longer wants us to adhere to a long list of requirements to draw close to him.  There is no need for circumcision or being slaves to ordinances, sacrifices, and rituals.  Righteousness is no longer measured by a list of dos and don’ts.  A list like that provided a certain comfort level because just following it made one feel assured of pleasing God.  And one never had to think about what was right or wrong – just look at the list.  That was the old covenant – a physical approach to a physical law.

The new covenant is a spiritual approach.  We have access to God directly.  There is no need to jump through hoops to get his attention.  He walks with us and talks with us.   However, even though Paul reminds us to stand fast in this new found freedom, we are cautioned to use this new found freedom wisely – the way God intended.  We are told not to pursue works of the flesh such as “adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, heresies, murders, drunkenness, etc…” Rather we are encouraged to walk in the spirit of “joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance,” and so on.

Consider this… Freedom in Christ does not give one license to do evil, just like freedom in America does not give one license to do harm.  If anything, we should be filled with a sense of responsibility to use all our freedoms for the good of everyone.

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

• Pray for God to bless America and thank him for the blessings he has bestowed on her that we take for granted:  freedom to gather together, freedom of speech, freedom of religion, etc.  Sometimes we just don’t appreciate the freedoms we have.  I remember a story about a father telling his son that every person living in the United States is a privileged person.  The son said, “I disagree.”  The father said, “That is your privilege – because you live in this country.”
• Here are some things we can do to show we are thankful:  be good citizens, obey the law, vote, be patriotic, etc.  Try to sing the national anthem.  I say “try” because the key is so high most of us have to sing falsetto, but it’s our national anthem so let’s sing it anyway!
• Stop looking for our country to make you happy.  You are entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  We want others to make us happy.  It ain’t gonna happen!
• Don’t abuse your freedom in Christ by wanting the benefits without making the commitment to follow him.  In other words to experience the freedom in Christ we need to be dependent on him.
• Celebrate!  You have freedom in America!  You have freedom in Christ!

A Year of Choices…

By Barbara Dahlgren from Barbara’s Banter at www.barbdahlgren.com

The Bible continually refers to God as our heavenly Father and to us as His children.  I love what God tells us in Isaiah 41:13:  “Fear not for I the Lord your God will hold your right hand.  I will help you.”  If we put our hand in God’s hand He will walk with us.  He will guide us on our journey.

Fathers exude an aura of protectiveness to their children.  When toddlers are learning to walk they want to hold their father’s hand to steady their uneasy steps.

Preschoolers tend to be a little braver so a father will demand his hand is held to keep children from wandering away, getting lost, or darting out in front of traffic.  His hand gives a sense of security.

As children grow up and show a certain amount of wisdom they might be allowed to venture out more on their own.  Still they know that a steady hand of guidance is there when needed.

Of course there are times when teens or young adult children think they know so much more than their father.  Eventually as they grow in maturity they realize dad knew quite a bit more than they thought.   As Tim Russet said, “The older I get, the smarter my dad seems to get.”

Those who had loving fathers find it easier to view God as loving, merciful, and kind.  Unfortunately, not all fathers are that way.  Some were too busy to be bothered with their children, never around or even abusive.  Our heavenly Father can transcend those negative memories because our spiritual Father is never too busy for us.  He is always available and willing to give us His undivided attention.  His thoughts are only for our best.  He will never abandon or forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5)

Consider this… We are all children at heart.  We all have times when we need someone to hold our hands.  If we put our hands in our heavenly Father’s hand he will hold it.  He will help us.  He will steady our uneasy steps.  He will keep us from getting lost. He will guide us.  He will calm us, comfort us, and keep us secure.

All we have to do is say, “Father, hold my hand” and he will!

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

• Read these passages referring to God holding your hand and what it means:  Psalm 16:11; Psalm 63:8; Psalm 73:23-28; Psalm 139:23-28.
• Think about what can be accomplished when we put what we have into God’s hands.  A little boy put his bread and fish into Christ’s hands and a multitude was fed.  (John 6:1-13)
• Holding God’s hand is a metaphor for surrendering our life to his.  Ask God to help you see the benefits of doing this.  Here are just a few things God can do for us that we can’t do for ourselves:  feel loved, overcome worry, move forward, give life purpose, etc.  Make a list of your own.
• Listen to Put Your Hand in the Hand and be reminded that this choice is worth making.
• With our hand in God’s we can go anywhere He leads without fear.  Think about this poem by Mary Louise Haskins…

A Year of Choices…

By Barbara Dahlgren from Barbara’s Banter at www.barbdahlgren.com
Father’s Day is a week away.  So we have plenty of time to get that soap on a rope and flashy tie for good old Dad!  Ties are not the “go-to” gift they used to be for dads, but there’s always a gift card.

Ah, fatherhood!  In the good old days, a dad just went out, made the money, came back to the house for a home cooked meal, disciplined the little tykes in that “wait until your father gets home” way, did what he wanted for awhile, got a good night’s sleep and started the process all over again the next day.  Not so today.  Many moms work outside the home, too.  Dads have to help with the household chores, help with the nurturing, be loving, sensitive and caring, and be macho-manly too.

I think it’s nice that fathers are included more today in the rearing and training of children.  The Bible never abdicated dads to being just breadwinners.  Fathers were expected to be fully involved in raising their children. (Deuteronomy 6:6-9)  Fathers were told not to “exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)

Those who have/had loving fathers are indeed blessed.  Not only do they grow up with less psychological problems, they have an easier time picturing God the Father as merciful and kind.  Those who had distant or abusive fathers have a harder time grasping this.  However, the biblical command to honor our fathers is not just a suggestion.  It’s a command – and that command is not conditional.  (Exodus 20:12)  A father’s moral character or effective parenting skills are not mentioned.  So how can we honor those unworthy of our honor?  Here are some ideas…

Try to understand:  Understanding why your father is the way he is does not mean you agree with what he’s done.  It doesn’t excuse wrong behavior.  It just gives you a little bit different perspective.

Forgive:  Forgiveness does not mean you condone harsh actions.  It just means you aren’t going to hold a grudge or let it keep you from being kind.  Forgiveness means you show compassion even if none was shown to you.  However, it doesn’t mean you let people take advantage of your kind nature.

Love unconditionally:  God loves us unconditionally and that’s how we should love our dads.    They shouldn’t have to earn our love even if they try to make us earn theirs.  However, love should not be a “guilt” card people use against each other.  Love isn’t emotional blackmail to manipulate people into doing what you want.  We can love others but not agree with what they do.

Accept:  Accept your dad the way he is because you can’t change him.   Realize that just because you understand, forgive, and love doesn’t mean your dad will do the same for you.  You do those things because they are the right thing to do.

Pray:  Pray for your father.   Lift him up to God.

Consider this… There are no perfect fathers except one – God the Father.

If you have/had a loving physical father, be thankful.  If you didn’t, just remember that you have a heavenly Father who loves you very much and he will never, ever let you down.

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

1. If you had a loving father, then thank God.  Then thank your father for all the things he did for you.  Don’t be afraid to be specific.
2. Don’t look for closure to past problems between you and your father.  I had a friend whose aged father was in the hospital not doing well.  This friend wanted to go talk to his father about past issues he had with him.  His concern was not about his father.  His concern was about himself.  Why try to lay mountains of guilt on a dying man?  Just pray about it and let it go.
3. Don’t try to change your father.  It won’t work.  We can’t change others; we can only change ourselves.  Accept him the way he is and love him anyway.  Accepting people the way they are does not mean you condone what they do.
4. Make time in your busy schedule for your father.  Once in a while listen to the song Cat’s in the Cradle to inspire you to spend a little time with your dad.
5. If your father is no longer with you then honor his memory by passing on wonderful lessons you learned from him to your children and grandchildren.  Look at old pictures.  Share those funny stories.  Keep his legacy alive.

A Year of Choices…

By Barbara Dahlgren from Barbara’s Banter at www.barbdahlgren.com 

In A.W. Tozer’s book The Pursuit of God he says, “Right now we are in an age of religious complexity.  The simplicity which is in Christ is rarely found among us.  Instead are programs, methods, organizations and a world of nervous activities which occupy time and attention but can never satisfy the longing of the heart.”

I think this can describe not only religion but almost every aspect of our daily lives. The world has created so many options it puts our brains on overload.  Easy decisions have become complicated.

For example, just wanting a drink of water when we are out and about can be confusing.   Do we drink tap water, artesian water, distilled water, purified water, spring water, mineral water, or sparkling water?  Should it be plain or flavored?  Let’s say we choose plain spring water.  Should that spring water come from the mountains, from the valley, from Iceland, France, Italy or Germany?  And don’t get me started on what container it comes in.

And just think of the options medical advances have made available.  It’s now possible for a woman to freeze her eggs for future use. Some mothers have frozen their eggs for their infertile daughters.  That means if a daughter uses her mother’s eggs and has a daughter, then the daughter she has would actually be her mother’s sister.  Now that’s really complicated!

Most societal options were created to make life easier, but that is not always the case.  Sometimes too many options leave us confused and make it difficult to make decisions.

Plus we live in a world of discontent because we are enticed into wanting more, more, more of everything.  We think bigger is better and expensive is best.  Basic needs such as food, shelter, transportation and clothing have segued into status symbols.  Is it wrong to live in a big house, drive a fancy car, and wear designer jeans?  Not necessarily – if we know those things don’t bring happiness and we can function just fine without them.

Sometimes less is better than more.  Having less can help us focus on the truly important aspects of life without distractions.  We can learn to appreciate beauty without a price tag.  There is wisdom in this Thomas Fuller quote:  “Better a little fire to warm us than a great one to burn us.”

Consider this… God’s pleasures are simple ones.  Nineteenth century English preacher Frederick William Robertson puts it this way:

All God’s pleasures are simple ones;
the rapture of a May morning sunshine,
the stream blue and green,
kind words,
benevolent acts,
the glow of good humor.

God has much to say about simple pleasures such as enjoying each new day (Psalm 118:24), being content (Proverbs 30:8, 9; Hebrews 13:5), living in unity (Psalm 133:1), being kind (Ephesians 4:32), laughing (Numbers 22:25-31), delighting in children (Matthew 19:14), and appreciating nature (Isaiah 55:12).  In fact God’s creation beckons us to marvel at majestic mountains, admire vibrant sunsets, smell fragrant roses, and calm ourselves beside still waters.  You might say God did the hard work of creating all of this so we could enjoy these simple pleasures in life.

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

1. Each time you see a happy, little child who is eager to laugh, learn, love, and forgive tell yourself:  Jesus told me to become like little children.  This concept, like so many God uses is simple, yet with profound meaning.  (Matthew 18:3)
2. Take some time every day to appreciate those simple pleasures in life that God created.  American writer Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “The sky is the daily bread of the eyes.”
3. Don’t try to muddle the simplicity of the message of Jesus.  There are no hidden meanings, mysteries we can’t understand, or complicated doctrines.  Jesus came to earth, he lived a perfect life, he paid the price for our sins by dying on a cross, and he victoriously rose from the grave.   If we accept his loving sacrifice we, too, have victory over death through his gift of salvation.  We either choose to accept the gift or we don’t.  All other issues are peripheral.
4. Don’t put yourself (or others) down by thinking you (they) are not worthy to be Christians because of lack of education.  Jesus could have called the philosophers, scholars, and renowned teachers of his time to spread the gospel, but mostly he chose simple fishermen and ordinary people. (1 Corinthians 1:26, 27)
5. Learn to use simple explanations when talking to others and to God.  Don’t try to impress with your knowledge or vocabulary.  Prayers don’t need to be long and eloquent, just heartfelt.  Theologian Martin Luther said, sometimes …“the fewer the words, the better the prayer.”