Barbara's Banter

Loving fathers exude an aura of protectiveness to their children.  So when toddlers are learning to walk they want to hold their father’s hand to steady their uneasy steps. 

Preschoolers tend to be a little braver so a father will demand his hand is held to keep children from wandering away, getting lost, or darting out in front of traffic.  His hand gives a sense of security. 

As children grow up and show a certain amount of wisdom they might be allowed to venture out more on their own.  Still they know that a steady hand of guidance is there when needed. 

Of course there are times when teens or young adult children think they know so much more than their father.  Eventually as they grow in maturity they realized dad knew quite a bit more than they thought.   As Tim Russet said, “The older I get, the smarter my dad seems to get.”

The Bible continually refers to God as our heavenly Father and we, as His children.  I love what Isaiah 41:13 says.  God tells us, “Fear not for I the Lord your God will hold your right hand.  I will help you.”  Like a loving Father, God holds our hand.  He guides us on our journey.  He walks with us.     

Many of us had loving fathers so it’s easy to view God as a loving father.  Some had fathers who were not loving or kind.  Perhaps they were too busy to be bothered with their children, never around or even abusive.  If that’s you, then my heart goes out to you. 

Fortunately we all have a loving father who can transcend those negative memories.  Our spiritual Father is never too busy for us.  He is always available and willing to give us His undivided attention.  His thoughts are only for our best.  He will never abandon or forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5) 

If you had a loving father then, be thankful.  If you didn’t then fear not!  Place your hand in your heavenly Father’s hand.  He will hold it and help you.  He will steady your uneasy steps.  He will keep you from getting lost. He will guide you.  He will calm you, comfort you, and keep you secure. Just say, “Father, hold my hand” and He will!   

Fear can be a good thing when kept in perspective.  Last time we learned that fearing God in the right way can bring benefits.  God doesn’t want us to unnecessarily tremble in His sight but He does want us to respect His power, acknowledge His holiness, worship His majesty, and reverence Him in our lives.  This is not a bad thing.  As we build a relationship with the living God we realize He is a God of love and only wants the best for us. 

Also there is a healthy kind of fear that comes with wisdom or heeding caution.  It keeps us from jumping off the side of a building thinking we can fly, picking up a rattle snake thinking we won’t get bit, or driving 150 miles per hour thinking we won’t have an accident. 

However, some fears paralyze us, keep us from doing what we should or could do, and prevent us from living a fuller, richer life, which is what God wants for us.  Therefore we must learn to control those fears or they control us.   

We are a fear ridden world.  Extreme fears result in countless phobias (and I do mean countless – just check out www.phobialist.com).   Most of us don’t have to deal with those but we do wrestle with fear of rejection, hurt, humiliation, disappointment, commitment, criticism, loss, or the future.  The residual effects of these fears are enough to hold us captive and prevent us from leading the life God intended. 

Fear of rejection keeps us from meeting new people.  Fear of failure keeps us from accepting responsibility.  Fear of looking foolish keeps us from asking questions or trying new things.   Fear of the future makes us afraid to enjoy the present.  Fear of losing keeps us from playing the game. The list is endless.  

God anticipated we would have trouble grappling with these feelings so He filled the Bible with admonitions to “fear not!”  A spirit of fear does not come from God. (2 Timothy 1:7)  So as we draw closer to God, He calms our fears.  When we seek God, He delivers us from our fears. (Psalm 34:4) We are not relying on our strength but God’s.  When God is with us, He helps and upholds us. (Isaiah 41:10)  

When we truly realize God is our refuge and strength, we know we have nothing to fear. (Psalm 46:1-2)  Why be afraid of people when God is our salvation and strength?  (Psalm 27:1)  God told Joshua not to be afraid or even discouraged because God would be with him wherever he went. (Joshua 1:9)  God is also with us wherever we go.  We are not alone.  The God of love is with us.  God loves us and there is no fear in love. (1 John 4:18-19) 

Of course we have to believe what God says.  That takes faith.  The choice is ours.  We can continue to let these unhealthy fears control us and prevent us from living a fuller, richer life or we can build a relationship with God and turn them over to Him.  Remember, when we seek God, He delivers us from our fears.  (Psalm 34:4)    

Fear and Faith

Fear imprisons, but faith liberates;
Fear paralyzes but faith empowers;
Fear disheartens, but faith encourages;
Fear sickens, but faith heals;
Fear makes useless, but faith makes serviceable;
Fear puts hopelessness at the heart of life,
While faith rejoices in its God.

~Henry Emerson Fosdick

Proverbs has much to say about the fear of the Lord.  Proverbs 1:7 tells us, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge…”  What exactly does that mean?  Does it mean we tremble with fear every time God’s name is mentioned?  The dictionary definition of fear is “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” 

Does God want us feel that he is dangerous, a threat or likely to cause us pain?  I don’t think so.  Although some who don’t really know God could interpret it that way.  Some live in a constant state of anxiety thinking if they displease God, He will open the trap door to hell. That’s just not true!  However, God does want us to realize He is all powerful!  When we know or recognize God as our Creator and our Master, we have reverence and awe for who He is, what He’s done, and what He can do. 

If we think of God as a loving Father we can relate because there is a certain kind of fear or respect that a child has for a parent.  Children realize parents have power over them.  However, if the parents love them and use their power wisely, children know they are loved.  There will be consequences for wrong behavior, but children know the motive will be love and what is best for them.  Then the children want to please their parents not out of anxiety, but out of love. 

The same applies with fearing God.  If we have a deep reverence for God and His love for us, we want to please Him – not because we feel frightened if we don’t, but because we know it reaps the right result. 

If we are aware of God’s awesome presence in our lives we will fear Him in the right way.  We will not be frightened of Him.  We will acknowledge His holiness, embrace Him and reverence Him in our lives.  We will want to honor him in everything we do.  He will be our priority and come first in our lives.

There are blessings from fearing God and giving Him His rightful place in our lives.  It brings…

• Knowledge (Proverbs 1:7)
• Humility (Proverbs 3:7)
• Wisdom (Proverbs 9:10)
• Recognition of evil (Proverbs 8:13)
• Departure from evil (Proverbs 16:6)
• Satisfaction (Proverbs 9:23)
• Prolonged life (Proverbs 10:27)
• Confidence (Proverbs 14:26)
• Spiritual insight (Proverbs 14:27)
• Contentment (Proverbs 15:16)
• Great blessings (Proverbs 22:4)

Oswald Chambers had an interesting thought on the fear of God.  He said, “The remarkable thing about fearing God is that, when you fear God, you fear nothing else; whereas if you do not fear God, you fear everything else.”   

Proverbs 1:7 tells us that the fear of God is the beginning of knowledge.  It goes on to say, “…but fools despise wisdom and instruction.”  The choice is simple.  Fear God and gain blessings.  It would be foolish to do otherwise.    

Veterans Day, which occurs on November 11 each year, honors all veterans of U.S. wars.  Memorial Day on the other hand, observed on the last Monday in May, is a time to honor those Americans who died defending our country.  There is something quite special about a person giving up his life for someone else.  Just like the Bible says in John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.”  It has to be even more meaningful when you lay down your life for those who may not really appreciate it. 

Attending a military funeral can be quite moving.  It has the folding of the flag that’s presented to the loved one, the gun salutes, and Taps.  Easily recognized, Taps is that poignant bugle tune, consisting of only 24 notes that urge us to remember those who have given their lives for our country with valor and honor.  It’s played at military funerals, lowering of the flag, the end of a military day, and memorial services.  You’ll hear it a lot on Memorial Day.   Just like Memorial Day, the roots of Taps come from the Civil War.

The story goes that one night during the Civil War a Union Captain, Robert Ellicome, was with his men in Virginia and happened onto a dead Confederate soldier.  It was a shock to find out it was his son who had been studying music in the South when the war broke out and enlisted in the Confederate Army.  Even though his son was in the Confederate Army Captain Ellicome requested a full military burial.  He wanted a group of Union Army band members to play a funeral dirge.  The Army could only spare one bugler.  The dad asked him to play a group of notes he found scribbled on a piece of paper in his son’s pocket which was what we now know as Taps. It’s a nice story, but unfortunately there isn’t even evidence that a Captain Ellicome ever existed, much less the rest.  Thus another myth is born.

A more likely explanation is that during the Civil War, General Daniel Butterfield thought the traditional bugle call for “lights out” was too formal so he reworked it a bit with his bugler, Oliver Wilcox Norton, and they came up with Taps. It was first used at a funeral a few months later when a soldier died and was buried in the woods.  Since the enemy was close at hand it was unsafe to fire the traditional three volleys over the grave, so Taps was substituted.  Not quite as poetic as the myth but at least it can be documented. 

There are no official lyrics to the tune but many verses have been adopted over the years.  Here are a few… 

Day is done, gone the sun,
From the hills, from the lake,
From the sky.
All is well, safely rest,
God is nigh.

Another…        

Go to sleep, peaceful sleep,
May the soldier or sailor,
God keep.
On the land or the deep,
Safe in sleep.

And another…

Thanks and praise, for our days,
‘Neath the sun,
‘Neath the stars,
‘Neath the sky,
As we go,
This we know,
God is nigh.

Still another can be found here, along with a little narrative by John Wayne:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=usk81XVsE9o   

It’s surprising how many of the lyrics mention God.  Perhaps those who are willing to fight and die for our country know their lives are in God’s hands.  You’ll probably hear Taps a lot on Memorial Day.  I hope when you hear it, you won’t just think of someone dying, but rather, think of someone dying for you.   “Greater love hath no man…..”

We live in the age of information.  Unfortunately information does not improve one’s communication skills.  Companies are not just interested in what someone knows anymore.  They want someone with the ability to communicate it to others.  Many high tech companies employ writers to take complicated, technical info and rewrite it so it can be understood by the common man but not insult the intelligence of the highly educated.  This is no small feat. 

To complicate communication, people have a tendency to speak with “hidden” meanings.  Here are a few examples:

• What was said:  “That’s interesting!”
• What was meant:  “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard today!”

• What was said:  “Would I lie to you?”
• What was meant:  “I would lie through my teeth if it suited my purpose.”

• What was said:  “Let’s get together for lunch.”
• What was meant:  “This is the only way I’m going to get rid of this guy.”

• What was said:  “Tell me the truth.”
• What was meant:  “Whatever you do, DON’T tell me the truth!”

• What was said:  “It really doesn’t matter.”
• What was meant:  “I’m terribly hurt but no one cares anyway.”

• What was said:  “It depends…”
• What was meant:  “NO!”

• What was said:  “We’ll see…”
• What was meant:  “NO!”

• What was said:  “I know how you feel.”
• What was meant:  “…but I really don’t care.”

• What was said:  “Trust me!”
• What was meant:  “I’m going to take you for all you are worth.”

• What was said:  “What an outfit!”
• What was meant:  “Ugggggglllllly!

• What was said:  “You can count on me!”
• What was meant:  “I won’t show up but this should get you off my back.”

• What was said:  “I was only kidding!”
• What was meant:  “No really!”
  

• What was said:  “I won’t tell a soul!
  
• What was meant: “…until you get out of ear shot.”

• What was said:  “You may be right…”
• What was meant:  “…but I don’t think so!”
  

And then we have the world of advertisement…

• What is written:  Fat free…
• What is meant:  There’s not fat in this product because we replaced the fat with lots of sugar, guaranteed to make you gain weight.  

• What is written:  Fixer upper…
• What is meant:  The building was condemned.

• What is written:  Quaint…
• What is meant:  It’s very, very old and moldy. 

• What is written:  Going Out of Business Sale…
• What is meant:  I’ve been having this “Going Out of Business Sale” for 50 years.

• What is written:  Room with a view…
• What is meant:  Every room has a view.  Some people like looking at a brick wall. 

• What is written:  One of a kind…
• What is meant:  Who would want two of them?

Many times we read into the Bible what isn’t really there because we think it has a “hidden” meaning.   The gospel message isn’t all that complicated.  Jesus is pretty straight forward in what he teaches.  It isn’t until man tries to find “hidden” meanings that it tends to muddle the message.  Why not read the New Testament and decide for yourself?   

• What I said:  “Read the teachings of Jesus and learn how to live!” 
• What I meant:  “Read the teachings of Jesus and learn how to live!”  

Mothers who understand the miracle of childbirth realize all children are a gift from God and that rearing them is the most important thing they will ever do.  That’s why many may feel ill equipped for the parenting tasks they face.  In our last blog we explored how Mary, the mother of Jesus, felt the same way.  Yet her example for mothers can be encouraging.       

Are you fearful and apprehensive?  Mary was.   

Do you lack a high school or college education?  Mary did.  

Do you feel you are too young to be a mother, but still you have a child?  Mary was young and inexperienced in the ways of the world. 

Are you a single mother?  At times, Mary might have been.  Tradition indicates Joseph died since there is no mention of him after the incident at the temple when Jesus was a youth. 

Are you from a working class family?  Mary was of humble origins and considered a handmaiden or servant.     

Are you of modest means?  Mary was far from wealthy. 

Do you realize the birth of a child is a miracle?  Mary did and she praised God for it. 

Are you concerned about your child?  Mary was visibly upset when her son was missing, even though she found him at the temple. 

Do you feel inadequate?  Mary did, but she trusted God.

Jesus was God’s own son.  God must have given careful thought to choosing just the right mother for him, knowing that mothers have a great deal of influence over their children.  Ralph Waldo Emerson once said:  “People are what their mothers make them.”  God could have chosen a twenty-five year old, rich, educated, beauty queen to be the mother of Jesus, but he didn’t.  He chose Mary – a young, inexperienced girl with a heart for the Lord. 

All mothers can learn from her example.  Mary felt ill equipped for the responsibility of motherhood.  She knew she didn’t have all the answers, but she knew how to trust the one who did – God!

Happy Mother’s Day to mothers everywhere!   

Mother’s Day is fast approaching.  Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “People are what their mothers make them.”  If that is true, perhaps we should look closely at the mother of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  After all, the Bible says Mary was the most blessed of all women. (Luke 1:28, 42)

When Mary was a young girl in her teens her father followed the custom of the time and arranged her betrothal to a carpenter named Joseph.  Engagement periods usually lasted about a year, so Mary and Joseph made their preparations. Jewish law interpreted a betrothal just as binding as marriage.  If Joseph died, Mary would be called his widow and vice versa.  If they separated, it was considered a divorce.  It was not something entered into lightly.

It was probably a little overwhelming for a young girl.  Her body was changing and she more than likely had a mixture of anticipation and anxiety about marriage.  Engagements lasted about a year.  Typically this time would have been spent with Mary and Joseph getting to know each other better.  In addition, she would be making clothes and sewing household linens while Joseph would be building their home and furniture.

When the angel of the Lord appeared to Mary announcing she would give birth to the Messiah, her emotions probably ran the gambit – fear, shock, excitement, apprehension.  She felt unworthy, but the angel assured her she had found favor with God. (Luke 1:30)  She questioned how she could have a child because she was a virgin.  The angel comforted her with, “Fear not!”  (Luke 1:30)  “With God nothing is impossible.” (Luke 1:37)  She trusted God and said, “…be it unto me according to thy word.” (Luke 1:38)  When she visited her Aunt Elizabeth who was also pregnant she felt the baby kick.  She was filled with joy and praised God. (Luke 1:43-55)

Although she was joyous, it was not easy.  She went through a lot to bring Jesus into the world.  She had to cope with what others thought about her being pregnant before she was actually married.  There was probably a certain amount of scandal or stigma to deal with.  The birth itself was less than perfect by human standards and definitely not the kind of birth every woman dreams of.   Joseph and Mary were traveling and couldn’t find a proper place to stay so Christ was born in a stable. (Luke 2:8)  And then they had to flee the wrath of King Herod and hide in a strange land. (Matthew 2:11-14)

When they returned home we saw Mary as a loving and protective mother.  As Jesus transitioned from being just her son into going “about his Father’s business” of ministry, Mary had to let him go.  Her motherly instincts wanted to protect him from hurt or harm yet she pondered things in her heart (Luke 2:51) as she released him to his ministry.  She relinquished control, but she was with him every step of the way.  She was with him when he performed his first miracle. (John 2:1-11)  She was with him at the foot of the cross.  Perhaps only a mother knows how she suffered when she saw her son reviled, crucified, and hanging dead on a cross. (John 19:25-27)  After Jesus’ death and resurrection, Mary met continually with his disciples for prayer. (Acts 1:14)

Jesus was a special gift to the world.  His mother Mary was not chosen at random.  Although young, her trust and devotion to God helped her guide and nurture His very own Son.  Never underestimate the influence of a godly mother.     

We had dinner with four friends a couple of weeks ago and it was such fun.  There was delicious food, uplifting fellowship, and loads of laughter.  It was actually more like a business meeting but our hostess Aletha knows how to set a festive table.  In honor of Easter she made these little favors for each of us out of parchment.  She actually sewed parchment paper together in the shape of a heart with little candy Easter eggs on the inside.  You had to literally break open the parchment to get to the goodies.  Each heart had something different handwritten on it in gold lettering like joy, faith, peace, love, grace, etc…

I was touched that Aletha would put that much time and effort into doing that little something extra that turned something ordinary into something special – especially for old friends she sees all the time.  I had hosted this meeting the previous month and ordered pizza.  It was great pizza but it was just pizza.  But in my defense…I tried to serve it with lots of love and used my wrinkle free (throw them in the washing machine, toss them in the dryer) cloth napkins and placemats!  So I guess, in my own way, I tried to do a little something extra even with the pizza.  But there is always someone around who makes us look bad.  Extra cheese on a pizza can’t compete with handmade parchment hearts filled with candy.   

Aletha along with Betty and Karon are what I like to call my “Martha Stewart” type friends.  Sometimes I try to live vicariously off their “domestic diva” vibes.  My husband thoroughly enjoys them since they serve delicious, homemade meals – the likes he rarely sees at home anymore, since the kids have grown and moved out of the house.  He learned to fend for himself when I was working full time.  He’s not a great cook but loves fruit and green salads – two of his specialties.        

To be honest, my “hosting the formal meal” days are long gone.  I’ve passed down my “wash by hand” fine china, “buff ‘til it shines” sparkling crystal, and “needs to be polished” silver to my daughters.  They didn’t need to wait until I died to divvy up the spoils.  My new philosophy is – if it can’t go in the dishwasher I’d rather not have it.

Still… I occasionally manage to cook a yummy meal and set an elegant table using my Corelle dishes instead of Noritake, Libby glasses instead of Mikasa, and Oneida flatware instead of antique sterling silver.  (See picture…)  I especially like to do this for family get-togethers and holidays.  At these times I like to use a nice table cloth that doesn’t need to be ironed, plus cloth napkins with various napkin rings to match the décor.  And sometimes I use place cards.  They aren’t all that fancy but they are place cards just the same.  In my own way, I try to make it just a little special.  My six-year-old granddaughter loves to put the place cards on the table. 

Sometime my family says, “Mom, you don’t need to do all this.  It’s too much trouble.” 

It’s not really a lot of trouble because I take the easier route.  Martha Stewart need not feel threatened by me.  But what if it is a little extra trouble?  Isn’t that part of the gift of love?  It’s a way of saying, “I love you and you are special!” 

In Matthew 10:42 Christ tells us that those who give a cup of cold water to little ones are blessed.  I’ve often wondered why he makes a point of saying the water is cold.  Room temperature water can quench a thirst just as much as “cold” water.  I can’t help but think that the water being cold is that little bit of extra love that makes it all the more special.         

So thanks, Aletha, for giving us a little extra love.  You turned an ordinary evening into something special.     

Easter reminds us to focus on what we sometimes forget during the rest of the year.  Christ is risen! 

Easter Morning

The friendly church across the way

Welcomes all to come inside

And worship on this Easter Day.

Its doors, like arms, are open wide;

A scent of flowers fills the air;

Buds have burst; the earth is dressed

In greenery most everywhere.

The organ swells and church bells ring

Out the message loud and clear:

Christ is risen, Christ the King,

To all believers far and near. 

~ Elsie Natalie Brady

Why is it that some people who never darken the door of a church will put on their Sunday best and head for the nearest pew on Easter Sunday?

It goes beyond wanting to see their kids dressed in finery, searching for decorated eggs and munching Easter candy.  I think deep down in their hearts people want to believe that Jesus lived, died for us, and lived again.  They yearn for Jesus to be the resurrection and life he professed to be in John 11:25-26 and that whoever “believes in him will live, even though he dies, he will live.” 

Perhaps nothing brings more hope to people than the resurrection.  Jesus Christ’s resurrection celebrates the victory of life over death.  It declares that Jesus Christ is Lord.  Without a resurrection, Jesus would be just another prophet.  Critics don’t deny that Jesus lived.  There is too much evidence to the contrary.  However, they do challenge his resurrection.

Those not believing Jesus rose from the dead make such claims as:  Jesus wasn’t really dead, the disciples stole the body to make it look like Jesus had risen, the Roman authorities removed the body, the eye witnesses who saw Jesus were hallucinating, some saw a vision they conjured up themselves, and when the more than 500 saw Christ at the same time they were all caught up in a “mass ecstasy.”   It matters not that:  it would be impossible to live through a crucifixion, the disciples would not have been willing to die for a lie, the Romans would have gladly produced Jesus’ body if they had it to debunk Christianity, all the eyewitnesses could not be hallucinating the same thing, and “mass ecstasy” sounds like a feeble attempt to find anything to support a losing battle. 

Why are some desperate to discredit a risen Christ?  According to the late German Marxist philosopher Ernst Bloch, “It wasn’t the morality of the Sermon on the Mount which enabled Christianity to conquer Roman Paganism, but the belief that Jesus had been raised from the dead.”  If Christianity was simply based on Jesus’ moral teachings it might have flourished for a while, but would have never lasted – for “if Christ be not raised, your faith is in vain.” (1 Corinthians 15:17)

When Paul spoke to the philosophers in Athens, the intellectual center of the world, he preached Jesus and his resurrection. (Acts 17:18)  This message was so remarkable and amazing that it turned the “world upside down.” (Acts 17:6)  He told them God had given assurance to all men because he raised Jesus from the dead.  (Acts 17:31)   Jesus was not some dead teacher, martyred prophet, or philosopher!  He was the risen Christ.  He conquered what no one else could – death!

People are burdened with the cares of life and overwhelmed with an uncertain world.  The resurrection represents victory, joy, and hope.  They want the hope that Christ offers.  So even though they may run from him most of the year, on Easter Sunday they run toward him.  Deep down they know the risen Christ is our only hope!  

And the angel answered and said unto the women, “Fear not ye: for I know that ye seek Jesus, which was crucified.  He is not here, for he is risen…”    ~ Matthew 28:5-6