Barbara's Banter

A Year of Choices

By Barbara Dahlgren

I’m a big believer in living in the present.

So many people live in the past, constantly lamenting what might have been.  They obsess over things like…if only I had married the geek I thought was a loser in college who became a millionaire.  If only I had taken that job with the start-up company I thought would go nowhere but went sky high.  If only I hadn’t gotten pregnant at sixteen.  If only I had finished college instead of dropping out.  If only I hadn’t gotten drunk and had a tattoo of a naked lady put on my arm.  If only, if only, if only…

Everyone’s life is full of missed opportunities, some unwise decisions, and regret.  These things cannot be changed. Yet many seem held captive by things they can do nothing about.

Others put their lives on hold waiting for the future.  As soon as all their preconceived needs are met they will get their priorities straight and live the good life.

Both extremes of living in the past or waiting for the future are immobilizing and prevent us from going forward.  Christian’s lives should not be held in suspended animation.  We must keep moving by walking with God on our day by day journey.  That’s what living in the present is all about.

God knows all our needs and doesn’t want us to worry about them.  (Matthew 6:25-32)  He is fully capable of taking care of them.  Our focus needs to be on seeking the kingdom of God. (Matthew 6:33-34)  This means building a relationship with God on a daily basis.  Seek him day by day.  That’s our priority – and we can’t do it when we are constantly lamenting the past or waiting for the future.

When we learn to do this we don’t have to wait for the future, we can look forward and move into the future.  Living in the present by walking daily with God helps us accept and learn from our past, then move on into the future.  We are moving towards something.  Paul says to forget what is behind and move forward.  (Philippians 3:13-14)

Christians cannot afford to be stagnant.  We need to learn from the past so we don’t make the same mistakes over and over again, live in the present to continue building a lasting relationship with God but move forward with Him into the future.

There is no better time to focus on this concept than when we are facing a New Year.

Consider this… We don’t know what lies ahead of us this next year, but we do know our God has it all under control.   He goes before us.  He walks beside us.  Our days are in His loving hands.  (Psalm 31:15)  So we can move forward with confidence in Him.  It beats being left behind.

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

• When you are tempted to lament the past, think of what happened to Lot’s wife when she looked back. (Genesis 19:26)
• Focus on your strengths, not your weaknesses.  Look for ways you can serve others using the gifts and talents God has given you.
• Focus on how far you have come, not how far you have to go.  Sometimes it’s positive reinforcement to list what you have done.  There will always be stuff left to do.
• Stay close to God.  Walk with Him.  Talk with Him.  That’s how a relationship is built.
• There’s nothing wrong with a little self improvement.  That’s what New Year’s resolutions are all about.  But this year instead of resolving to lose weight which will only last until you start craving potato chips, why not focus on being a nicer person.  Resolve to smile, do some random acts of kindness or say “please” and “thank you.”  You’ll be happier and so will everyone around you.

A Year of Choices

By Barbara Dahlgren

When the birth of Christ occurred we are told it took place in a stable because there was no room for them in the inn. (Luke 2:7)  We don’t know why there was no room.  Perhaps the computer lost their reservation?   Maybe Bethlehem was a one-horse town and didn’t even have a Holiday Inn, so travelers were staying with relatives and friends.  It doesn’t say Mary and Joseph were rejected.  Bethlehem was probably overcrowded with people coming to register for that required census.  Maybe there was just no room for them in the main part of a house so they had to stay out back.  All we know is that the Bible says there was “no room in the inn” for them.  Which is a little prophetic because many in the world don’t really hate Jesus or dislike Him; they just don’t have any room for Him in the main part of their lives.

In the 1600s the French enlightenment writer, historian, and philosopher Voltaire had little use for religion.  He was walking with a friend when they passed a church.  Voltaire raised his hat as they passed.  The friend said, “I thought you didn’t believe in God.”

Voltaire said, “Oh we nod, but we do not speak.”  I think that’s how a lot of people feel.

Actually, that’s one reason I love Christmas.  It’s a time when people who may only have a nodding acquaintance with Christ, or don’t even want to believe in Him, subconsciously acknowledge His existence.  It warms my heart to hear an atheist absent mindedly hum or even sing “O, come let us adore Him” or “joy to the world the Lord has come” with the background music at the mall while Christmas shopping.

There is irony in atheists singing about adoring Christ the Lord. There is irony in them celebrating a holiday about Christ’s birth.  They may try to say that’s not what they are celebrating but how can they get around it?  Christmas literally means Christ’s Mass.  So ironically, whether people want it to or not, it commemorates and celebrates Christ’s birth!

Biblical events show that God is not above a little irony.  He blessed Sarah and Abraham with their son Isaac when Sarah was beyond childbearing years.  A mere shepherd boy named David killed the giant Goliath.  Joseph’s brothers relied on him for deliverance, even though they sold him into slavery.  And perhaps the greatest irony of all was the birth of Jesus.

People were looking for a Messiah with a flaming sword.  Even though Christ’s birth fulfilled numerous Old Testament prophesies concerning everything from his lineage to where he would be born, people did not recognize him.  They were expecting someone strong and powerful, not a helpless child.  They were looking for a king, not a baby born in a manger.  The irony of it all was that this baby in the manger was the King.

He was called Emmanuel which means God with us. (Matthew 1:21-23, Isaiah 7:14)  God became one of us.  Miraculously, the Word became flesh and lived among us.  This Savior for sinners brought salvation to everyone – from the poorest shepherd to the richest Magi.  John tells us about Christ becoming flesh in John 1:14 and goes on to say, “We have seen His glory.”  But many did not see Christ’s glory.  Just like today.  Many cannot see His glory so they do not make room for Christ in their lives.  However, ironically they celebrate His birth!

Consider this… While we may not make room for Christ in our lives, He always makes room for us.  Christ makes room for everyone from the poorest shepherd to the richest Magi!

One verse of Joy to the World says, “Let every heart, prepare Him room…” That’s good advice.  Christians know this is not just something we should do at Christmastime, but every day of our lives!

Suggestions for practicing this choice…  

• Make room for Christ by daily by participating in a relationship with Him.  Think about Him throughout each day.
• Stop focusing on yourself and focus on Christ. (Hebrews 12:2)
• Stop focusing on yourself and focus on others.  What you do for others, you are actually doing to Christ.  (Matthew 25:45)
• Try to spend a little quiet time with Christ asking Him to surround you with His calm, peace, and love.
• It’s Christmastime so sing those Christmas hymns and carols with gusto!  We have much to celebrate!   Joy to the world!  The Lord is come!

A Year of Choices

By Barbara Dahlgren
The Bible says it is more blessed to give than receive.  (Acts 20:35)   Although it is more blessed to give, there are times when it is blessed to receive as well.

Some people are too proud to receive anything from anybody.  They don’t want to feel obligated to another person.  They don’t want others to think they need anything.  Some of these people are generous givers but don’t know how to receive.

One of my dearest friends and I tend to be that way.  I call it the Midwest Missouri mentality.  There’s a reason they call Missouri the “Show Me” state and have a stubborn mule as a symbol.  We go out to eat and drive everyone crazy.  I want to pay.  She wants to pay.  Bicker, bicker, bicker… The servers want one of us to pay so they can get on with their lives.

One time she and her husband invited us to share a condo in Branson, MO for our anniversary.  Of course we wanted to pay our part but they wouldn’t hear of it.  It was their treat!  On one of our outings I hopped into the store to get some gum and she stayed in the car.  She asked me to pick her up some, too.  When I tried to give her the gum she insisted on paying me the $1.50 it cost.  I kept saying, “No, just keep it!”  But she wouldn’t hear of it.  Finally I said, “Let me see if I understand this correctly.  You can treat us to free lodging which costs a bundle but I can’t give you one lousy package of gum?  There’s something wrong here!”  She had to admit she had a problem receiving anything from anybody – even her closest friend.

Some people can’t even receive a sincere compliment.  Instead of just graciously saying, “Thank you,” they make up excuses as to why they don’t deserve the compliment.  It’s as if they think if they accept the compliment they aren’t humble enough.  Or they immediately try to reciprocate with another compliment which is usually insincere because they are only reciprocating, not really giving a genuine compliment.  Let’s face it… Some days our hair really does look good so when some bald guy says, “Hey, I like your hair style!” we don’t need to say, “I like yours, too!”

So here’s the deal… Just as giving should be part of our lives so should receiving.  When we can’t receive genuine, heartfelt gifts, appreciation, help, or compliments from others we rob them of blessings.

Jesus was the greatest giver.  He gave up His life for us.  But did you know Jesus knew how to receive as well?  When Mary anointed His feet with expensive perfume He accepted it graciously. (John 12:1-8)  The disciples were shocked because the ointment was worth a lot of money and could have been sold to help the poor.  Yet Jesus accepted this gift in the spirit it was given.

Another similar event is recorded in the Gospel of Luke when Jesus was visiting Simon, a Pharisee.  Some scholars say it’s the same event and others disagree.  I personally think it is two separate occurrences because these women appear to be totally different.  It’s conceivable that two similar incidents of this kind could have happened because everyone walked in sandals on dusty roads and many times feet were washed at someone else’s home.  Here again, Jesus set an example in receiving when a woman of ill repute washed His feet with ointment from an alabaster box and her tears.  Simon was appalled but Jesus defended her and accepted her act of kindness graciously. (Luke 7:36-50)

Jesus taught the disciples a lesson in serving others when He insisted on washing their feet at the Last Supper.  (John 13:14-15)  However this was a lesson in receiving as well.  Peter did not want Jesus to wash his feet but Jesus said that unless Peter received this act of service from Him, Peter could have no part of Him.  (John 13:4-10)

God has gifts for us to receive but sometimes we refuse to accept them.  God wants us to receive forgiveness of sin.  We already have it, but we need to acknowledge and receive it.  Unless we do we will never be able to experience the fullness of a relationship with Him.   The blessings we receive from God we can give to others.  However, we must choose to receive His grace and truth or we have nothing to give.

Consider this… Jesus could have fed the multitudes with manna from heaven.  After all, it had been done before.  Instead he let a little boy give up his lunch and share what he had with others. (John 6:5-14)

Refusing to receive from others can rob them of blessings.  It may be more blessed to give, but sometimes it is blessed to receive as well.

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

• For one whole week when someone gives you a compliment just say, “Thank you” without saying how unworthy you are or counter complimenting.
• At the end of each day try to recall an act of kindness that was done for you or someone tried to do for you.  Could you have been more receptive?  If so, resolve to be more attuned and responsive tomorrow.
• Forget the false humility.  Everyone sees right through it anyway.  We all have strengths and weaknesses.  When someone acknowledges one of your strengths just say, “Thanks!”
• Life is a mixture of learning to give and learning to receive.  If we never receive, our lives are out of balance.  Ask God to help you receive what He wants to give you.
• Ask God to help you receive what He wants to give you through others.  Once I emailed a friend and said, “You are a SWEETIE!”  She emailed back and said, “Yes, I know!”  Ha!  I love it!  Now that gal knows how to receive a compliment!

A Year of Choices

By Barbara Dahlgren

 Scriptures say it is more blessed to give than receive.  (Acts 20:35)  How many of us are givers?

At first we may think scriptures about giving only refer to giving money to the church.  While it’s true that many passages do speak of this kind of stewardship, the biblical principle of giving runs much deeper – such as giving cheerfully and generously of everything God has given us.

For example, in Old Testament times people were expected to give 10% or a tithe of everything they earned back to God.  In the New Testament they were encouraged to give, but no fixed amount was given.  They were exhorted to give according to how God had prospered them or how much they loved God.  The decision was theirs to make.  However, they should bear two things in mind.   They should give cheerfully, not out of a sense of obligation or reluctance.  (2 Corinthians 9:7)  And they should give generously because if we “sow sparingly” we “reap sparingly.”  (2 Corinthians 9:6)   In other words, we shouldn’t expect God to be generous with us if we aren’t generous with others.  This applies in all areas of our lives.

God expects us to give to others because God has given to us!  Every gift and blessing we have comes from God and God expects us to share them all with others. (James 1:7)  Jesus gave instructions to His disciples:  “…freely you have received, freely give.” (Matthew 10:8)  When we share what God has given us with others, it glorifies God.

Giving is a basic biblical principle for every aspect of our lives.  We should be giving to God, plus we should be giving and sharing what God has given us with others.

What can we give to God who has everything?  Here are some ideas…

• Our love
• Our trust
• Our thanks
• Our praise and worship
• Our bodies as a living sacrifice (Romans 12:1)

What have we freely received from God that we can share with others?  Here are some ideas…

• The good news about Jesus Christ
• Acceptance
• Joy
• Peace
• Patience
• Kindness
• Comfort
• Forgiveness
• Hope

What can we give to others?  Here are some ideas…

• Our time
• Our talents
• Our energy
• Benefit of the doubt
• Our prayers
• A smile
• Encouragement

I’m sure we can all add to these lists.

Consider this old adage… We make a living by what we get out of life but we make a life by what we give.

Studies show that givers improve their overall mental health, have a more positive outlook and improve relationships with others.  So be a giver.  It’s a win/win/win scenario.  It’s good for you, it’s good for others, and God loves it!

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

• If you woke up this morning, give God a little praise and thanks!
• Volunteer in your community.  It doesn’t have to be a daily commitment.  Perhaps you can help once a week or once a month.
• Smile at every person you meet.  If you are feeling especially generous go ahead and say, “Hi!”
• Christmas is coming.  Why not sponsor a Giving Tree gift or angel from the Salvation Army angel tree, have your family lead carols at a nursing home, participate in Operation Christmas Child or a One Warm Coat drive, help with a Christmas food drive – the list is endless?  Just go online and you’ll find a myriad of ways you and your family can give to others this year!
• Remember these words of Anne Frank:  “No one has ever become poor by giving.”

A Year of Choices…

By Barbara Dahlgren from Barbara’s Banter at www.barbdahlgren.com

Oswald Chambers said, “We look for visions from heaven and for earth shaking events to see God’s power… One of the most amazing revelations of God comes to us when we learn that it is in the everyday things of life that we realize the magnificent deity of Jesus Christ.”

Unfortunately people don’t want to see the miracles in everyday life.  They want to experience a faith healing or spectacular event before they will believe in God’s existence.  This philosophy can be dangerous because not all supernatural happenings come from God.

• Deuteronomy 13:1-3 says to beware of those who foretell dreams or signs and wonders that come to pass, then encourage you to follow other gods than the one true God.  So others besides God can perform certain signs and wonders.
• Mark 13:22-23 tells us to be on guard because some can perform miracles that can deceive us into thinking they represent Christ.
• Matthew 7:22-23 tells us that many will come to God pointing out that they had performed miracles but God will say, “I never knew you.  Get away you evildoers!”
• 2 Thessalonians 2:8-9 reminds us that Satan has the power to perform counterfeit miracles, signs, and wonders.
• Exodus 7:11 recounts how Moses and Aaron performed miracles such as having a staff turn into a snake, but Pharaoh summoned his sorcerers and they did the same thing.

Sometimes God provides supernatural happenings and sometimes He doesn’t.  In Christ’s hometown of Galilee Christ didn’t do many miracles because of their lack of faith.  (Matthew 13:58)  Was this because Christ’s miracles are dependent on our faith?  Not at all!   But what would have been the point?  They wouldn’t have believed anyway, because contrary to popular opinion, miracles do not increase belief.  The Israelites proved that.  God performed miracle after miracle for them, including parting the Red Sea and they still didn’t believe He could take care of them in the Promised Land.

The need for Christ to authenticate His message through miracles has long passed.  His message speaks for itself.   Sadly some professing Christians are still seeking signs and wonders long after their conversion.  This is not so much that they doubt Christ’s existence as they are looking for a “high” that comes from the miracle. But when we are always looking for the next “big thrill” in our lives to feel God’s presence we forget that He has been with us all along.  We miss the daily walk.  We miss what is right in front of our eyes.

Consider this… In biblical times many missed the miracle of Christ’s birth because they were looking for another kind of miracle – a Messiah descending from heaven with a flaming sword of righteousness to deliver them from oppressive Roman rule.  They did not recognize the Christ child in the manger as their Savior.  They missed what was right before their eyes.

Do we see God in our everyday lives?  Do we see God when the 6 o’clock alarm rings, when we take a shower, brush our teeth, carpool the kids, drive to work in the same old car to the same old job and come home to the same old family, then cook something to eat, do the dishes, help with homework, and fall into bed dog tired?  Can we cheerfully get up and do it all again the next day and stay totally centered on God?  That’s a miracle.

Healthy Christians are able to go through life without God having to supernaturally zap them with an addictive spiritual methamphetamine to get them through the day.  As we grow in God’s grace we realize the miracle of God revealing Himself to us all the time.  It might be in the laughter of a child, the smile of a coworker, clouds in the sky, sunlight on a window pain, or a flower garden.

Do we realize that life itself is a miracle?  The whole universe is one miracle after another – not chance happenings but actual miracles!  If we are truly looking for a miracle, we need look no further than where we are.  For where we are, God will be.  He’ll never leave us or never forsake us no matter what.  If we don’t see that as a miracle, there is no need to look anywhere else, because we’ll never find it.

Suggestions for practicing this choice…  

Ask God to help you see the miracles around you in everyday life.  Here are five quotes to help…

•  “The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miracle in the common.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
• “There are only two ways to live your life.  One is as though nothing is a miracle.  The other is as if everything is.” ~Albert Einstein
• “I’m realistic – I expect miracles.” ~Wayne Dyer
• “Each of my days are miracles.  I won’t waste my day.  I won’t throw away my miracle.” ~Kelley Vicstrom
• “Where there is great love, there are always miracles.” ~Willa Cather

A Year of Choices…

By Barbara Dahlgren from Barbara’s Banter at www.barbdahlgren.com

Legend says that God sent two angles with baskets to earth to gather the prayers of humans.  The first angel was to fill a basket with the requests, wants, and desires of people.  The other was to gather prayers of thanksgiving.  When they returned to God, one angel’s basket was heaped high, running over with the countless petitions of men and women.  The other angel had searched diligently but alas, returned with an almost empty basket.  Are we a thankless society?

Some say we are, especially in the United States.  It’s hard to be thankful living in a land of plenty.  Most of us take for granted having decent food to eat, clean water to drink, shelter from storms, and warm clothing in the winter.  Basics?  Yes!  But these are basics many people live without.

Thanklessness is nothing new.  Jesus encountered it during biblical times.  Luke 17 gives the account of Jesus stopping outside a village on his way to Jerusalem.  There He was met by ten lepers pleading for healing.  “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!”  Jesus did have mercy and healed them.

Leprosy was a dreaded, incurable disease that affected the skin causing disfigurement.  The skin would dry up and rot.  Fingers, toes, ears, and limbs would waste away and fall off.  Lepers lived a life of continual discomfort and misery.  Because the disease was contagious, lepers were not allowed in the city.  They were dependent on charity outside the gate or isolated and banished to colonies.

Imagine the gift Jesus gave these lepers by healing them.  They were no longer shunned by society.  Their lives were restored.   Their joy must have been overwhelming.  However, only one returned to Jesus to thank him for what he had done.  Jesus noted this ingratitude in Luke 17:17.  “Were there not ten cleansed? But where are the nine?”

If people are not thankful for the big things that happen in their lives, it’s hard to imagine them being thankful for simple, everyday blessings.

In Old Testament times, being thankful was so important that certain Levites were appointed to give continual praise and thanks to God.  (1 Chronicles 16: 4)  Jesus himself set us an example of thankfulness. (Matthew 11:25, 26:7; John 11:41)  In all things, we need to be thankful. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)  And we need to recognize that blessings come from God.  (James 1:17)

Consider this…The Bible tells us that those who aren’t thankful are very, very foolish. (Romans 1:21-22)

When angels in disguise come to fill their baskets at our doors, we shouldn’t be afraid to make our requests known to God, but always with thanksgiving. (Philippians 4:6)  One basket should not outweigh the other in our lives.  It is good to give thanks unto the Lord. (Psalm 92:1)

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

• Keep a daily gratitude journal.
• If you don’t like journaling keep a running list of three things you are thankful for each day.  Try not to repeat anything.
• Say, “Thank you” to each and every person who does something for you.  Everyone!  Even thank the waiter who takes your order or the guy who bags your groceries.  Sure they are getting paid to do it, but a “thank you” from you can make their jobs a little more tolerable.
• Try a little positive meditation.  Each night when you snuggle into bed don’t mentally rehash all the bad things that happened that day, focus on everything that went right – no matter how small.  Even in the worst of circumstances there is always something we can be thankful for.
• For a whole week instead of “gimme, gimme, gimme” prayers, ask God to help you remember all the wonderful things He’s done for you in the past and thank him.  One of the sweetest prayers God can hear from your lips is a heartfelt, “Thank You, Lord!”

A Year of Choices…

By Barbara Dahlgren from Barbara’s Banter at www.barbdahlgren.com

There are times in life when we pray and feel God responds instantly.  Then there are other times we try to lift our prayers to heaven and feel they get no farther than the ceiling.  But that’s okay.  Even though we may feel like our prayers aren’t going high enough, they are – because God is always with us.  So God always hears our prayers and always answers.

Sometimes He says “yes” and sometimes “no” and sometimes the answer is to “wait awhile.”  If the answer is “yes” we break out into our happy dance.  It the answer is “no” we are disappointed but start to adjust.  However, I think the “wait awhile” can be the most difficult to deal with.  No one today wants to wait for anything.  We are always in a hurry and we want what we want when we want it.  Once I was in such a hurry I ordered fast food at a drive-thru and drove off without my burger.

Today we don’t have to wait for much at all.  We can get money when banks are closed through ATMs.  If we don’t have money to buy something we don’t need to wait until we save the money to get it, we have credit cards.  We don’t have to wait until we get home for a phone message because our cell phones are always with us.  We don’t have to email and wait for a response, we can text.  We don’t like to wait.

However, sometimes what we learn by waiting on God can be just as important as what we are waiting for.  If deliverance from a dire situation comes too quickly we can consider it coincidence, good timing, or due to our own ability.  When we have to wait for something we usually appreciate it a little more.  Waiting is a “building block” of life.  It builds our character, builds our patience, and builds our dependency on God.

Many in the Bible had to wait on God.  Abraham and Sarah waited for Isaac’s birth.  Noah waited for the flood.  Moses waited to get out of the wilderness.  Joseph waited to get out of prison.  Job waited for deliverance.  David waited to become king.  We are now waiting for Christ’s return.

Before Christ ascended into the clouds he told the Apostles to go to Jerusalem and wait for the Holy Spirit. He said to “tarry until” they were endued with it.  Tarry is just another word for wait.  God could have had the Holy Spirit given to them instantly but He chose to have them wait.  (Acts 1:1-5)  They walked all day to get to Jerusalem from the Mount of Olives. (Acts 4:12)  They all went into an upper room – along with other followers – 120 in total. (Acts 4:13-15)  All waited for the promised Holy Spirit.

While they were waiting they spent their time wisely.  They prayed. (Acts 4:14)  They studied scriptures. (Acts 4:15-20)  They continued God’s work. (Acts 4:21-26)  They were not idle.

Isaiah 40:31 tells us what happens to those who wait on the Lord.  God renews their strength.  They run but don’t get weary.  They walk and don’t get faint.  This shows they must be active.  They are moving – running and walking – not just sitting around moping.  Waiting on God does not mean sitting around doing nothing, sulking and feeling sorry for ourselves.  Waiting is doing what we are supposed to do:  praying, studying, and doing God’s will. (Psalm 37:34)  Waiting on God builds patience, trust, and faith.

This waiting not only applies to our lives but the lives of others we are praying for.  Instead of waiting for God to deliver them, sometimes we want to deliver them ourselves.  Oswald Chambers puts it this way:  “Are we playing the role of amateur providence, trying to play God’s role in the lives of others.  Are we so noisy in our instruction of other people that God cannot get near them?  We must learn to keep our mouths shut and our spirits alert.”

Consider this…Not only are we waiting on God we are waiting with God.  He is with us every step of the way.  We are not alone in our wait.  While we wait we need to stay focused on God so we don’t grow weary. (Galatians 6:9)  It’s our relationship with Him that gives us strength and courage. (Psalm 61:1)

I love what Psalm 62:1 says.  “Truly my soul waits on God: from him comes my salvation.”

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

• As you petition God in prayer don’t forget to ask Him to align your will with His.
• Continually ask yourself if it’s your will you want done, or God’s.
• Slow down a bit and try not to always be in a hurry.
• While you are waiting look for ways to get your focus off yourself such as serving others.
• Trust God because he knows what we need and when we need it.  He has perfect timing.

A Year of Choices… 

By Barbara Dahlgren from Barbara’s Banter at www.barbdahlgren.com

In this world of mistrust we forget there is one we can always count on and trust.  It’s God.  In good times or bad, God can always be trusted to take care of us and look out for our best interest.  Circumstances change but God remains constant.  God is good and blessed are those who trust him. (Jeremiah 17:7)

Sometimes we forget that trust is a choice.  (Psalm 31:14)

Most of our choices or decisions are habitual responses, many times governed by our feelings and emotions.  Trusting God must be a conscious, moment by moment choice.  God is with us every step of every day whether we feel it or not.  Daily disruptions are opportunities to trust God.  Trust relinquishes control to God.

When we trust God our happiness does not depend on our circumstances. (Habakkuk 3:17-19) Scriptures tell us to trust in God with all our hearts and don’t rely on how we feel.  (Proverbs 3:5)  Our feelings can be misleading.

Here are just a few reasons we can trust God…

• Our God is the one true God. (2 Samuel 7:22)
• He cannot lie. (Hebrews 6:18) Satan lies, but God does not lie. (John 8:44)
• He is faithful and will never let us down. (Lamentations 3:23)  That doesn’t mean He always gives us what we want but we can trust Him to do what is best for us
• He is all powerful but uses His power wisely. (Matthew 28:18)
• He loves us unconditionally. (John 15:9)
• God never changes. (Hebrews 13:8)

Consider this…When difficulties arise many ask, “Where is God?”  However, He’s right there with us.  We need to look for God where we are.  The more time we spend with God the more we will realize that He is always with us.

When we trust God, He can lift us up – above our circumstances.  He can give us strength and hope. (Philippians 4:13)  He can give us refuge from the storm and shade from the heat. (Isaiah 25:4)  Trusting God is how we walk by faith, not sight.  It protects us from worry and gives us the peace that passes understanding.

We can trust God’s wisdom and timing.  Those who put their trust in him will never be forsaken. (Psalm 9:10)  Choose to trust in God with all your heart.  You’ll be glad you did!

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

• When you are afraid, whisper, “I trust you, Lord.” (Psalm 56:14)
• When things aren’t going well, whisper, “I trust you, Lord.” (Habakkuk 3:17-19)
• When you aren’t feeling well, whisper, “I trust you, Lord.” (Proverbs 3:5)
• Those others refuse to trust God whisper, “I trust you, Lord.” (Psalm 34:14)
• Ask God to help you trust Him.  Sometimes just whispering, “I choose to trust You, Lord” can give us perspective.

A Year of Choices…

By Barbara Dahlgren from Barbara’s Banter at www.barbdahlgren.com 

Everyone makes mistakes.  Some are just plain dumb, some are thoughtless, some are complicated, and some are really bad decisions.  However, one thing is inevitable.  We all make mistakes. (Proverbs 24:16)

Although we can feel like failures if we don’t do everything perfectly, not all mistakes are bad. When we are trying to learn a new skill we will make mistakes until that skill is mastered.  In other words we will make a mistake and then make changes or adjustments so we can master that skill.

That’s what kids do in school all the time.  They misspell a word then learn how to spell it correctly.  They get a math problem wrong then learn how to do it properly.  There should be no stigma attached to this.  When children don’t understand certain things they should be encouraged to ask questions.  A better understanding helps them not to make the same mistakes in the future.

We will also make mistakes as we try to master life skills.  If we don’t pay the electric bill the lights go off.  If we don’t show up to work on time we may lose our jobs.  If we speed we may get a ticket.  If we don’t pay that speeding ticket on time the fee triples.  Mistakes do have consequences.

Some mistakes like not keeping our word, over committing, breaking promises, cheating, or lying reflect our character.  It shows others what kind of people we really are.  However, if we are wise we learn from our mistakes so we can lead happier, healthier lives.

Some people refuse to learn from their mistakes.  This is so sad to witness.  A young man gets incarcerated for selling drugs, but goes back to selling drugs when released from jail.  A young woman marries an abuser, gets divorced, but marries another abuser.  A woman has an affair with one married man after another.  Some people literally do keep doing the same thing over and over and over again expecting a different result.

Why is that?

Sometimes we don’t want to admit we’ve done anything wrong.  We want to blame others or even God.  Sometimes we make excuses or try to justify what we’ve done because we had good intentions.  Sometimes we deceive ourselves into thinking this time it will be different even though we are still doing the same thing.   The list is endless because people can always come up with excuses not to change.

Consider this… Most of us have simply developed bad habits that we are too lazy to deal with.  It takes a lot of effort to re-educate ourselves or implement a new strategy.  It feels uncomfortable.  It’s easier to wallow around in misery than to work towards success.

And that’s what each mistake should do – lead us to success.  The Bible tells us to learn from the past and move towards the future. (Isaiah 43:18-19)

Mistakes or setbacks can be learning opportunities to make us stronger for the future.  Once we’ve gleaned everything we can from a mistake we should move on.  No need to dwell on it or feel like a failure.  No need to feel stuck or unable to move forward.  No need to feel bitter and resentful.  Try something different.  Determine to do better.  Replace bad habits with good habits.  Replace error or faulty thinking with truth.  Replace discouragement with faith.

That’s what Peter did.  Peter denied Christ, but he became a pillar and rock in the church.  He learned to rely a little more on Jesus and less on his own abilities.  He also learned that God’s grace was greater than his mistakes.  (John 18:15-27; John 21:15-17; Matthew 16:18)

God says He has great things in store for us in the future. (Jeremiah 29:11)  However we’ll never know what they are if we don’t learn from our mistakes and move forward.

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

• Admit when you’ve made a mistake. This is not easy and may be painful.  It takes a great deal of courage to take responsibility for what we do.
• Change what you need to change.  Mistakes teach us what works and what doesn’t work.  If what you are doing isn’t working, then change.
• Listen to feedback.  All feedback may not be productive, but there are usually at least one or two things we can possibly modify or change.
• Watch the movie Groundhog Day.  Bill Murray plays a jerk destined to repeat the same day over and over again, but each day he learns from his mistakes, makes changes and becomes a better person.
• Ask God to help you learn what you can and move on. (James 1:5)

A Year of Choices…

By Barbara Dahlgren from Barbara’s Banter at www.barbdahlgren.com

Oscar Wilde once said, “Be yourself!  Everyone else is taken.”  All in all, that’s not a bad choice to make.

If we are totally honest, most of us would probably prefer to be someone else or at least like someone else.  We want to be taller, shorter, thinner, quieter, more outgoing, younger, older, wittier, smarter, more organized, athletic, and so on.  However, God created us all to be ourselves!  There are over 7 billion people in the world and no two have the same finger print, voice vibration, or DNA.  It’s really quite phenomenal when you think about it.  That’s one reason I can’t totally buy into the evolution theory.  But I digress… the point is that we are all different whether we want to be or not.

Should we say to God, “Why did you make me this way?”  (Romans 9:20)  Or should we be thankful God created us?   Instead of resenting the way we’ve been made, perhaps we should embrace it.  If there are things we want to change about ourselves and we have the power to do it, there’s nothing wrong with making those adjustments.  However, we should realize that God loves us just the way we are.

Also we need to be sure of why we want to even make those changes.  Media bombards us with messages making us think we aren’t thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough, talented enough, good enough and so on.  However, even the most beautiful women in the world are air brushed on those magazine covers.  BTW…Studies show that those with beauty, wealth, and fame are not all that happy with themselves either.  But I digress… (I seem to be doing a lot of that today.)    The point is that if we aren’t careful we can start to evaluate ourselves by some very lofty, unattainable standards.  We can become more concerned about our image than the essence of who we really are.  I don’t think that’s what God wants.

There will always be someone better looking, more popular and thinner than us.  Guess what?  That’s okay.  From a spiritual perspective there will always be someone who appears to be praying, studying, and serving more.  That’s okay, too.  Appearances don’t tell the whole story.  The Pharisees outwardly looked righteous but their hearts were far from God.  God knows the intent of our hearts.

Perhaps that’s why the Bible continually tells us not to compare ourselves with others. (Galatians 6:4)  God created you to be you and me to be me.  Each of us has a unique personality.  Each of us has differing talents or abilities to be used for God’s glory and purpose – not ours. (1 Corinthians 12:4)  Maybe we need to stop wanting to be someone else and want to be who God created us to be.

We can make changes but eventually we will need to concentrate on our strengths and embrace our limitations or we will never get anywhere.  We are not all meant to do or accomplish the same things.  We all have different strengths and weaknesses. (1 Corinthians 12:5-31)  If we could all do the same things, we would not all need to work together.

Many think they have nothing to offer others.  Most of us think if we aren’t pretending to be something we’re not then no one will like us.  Well God likes us.  God even loves us.

Consider this… When Jesus told his followers they were the salt of the earth and a light of the world he was talking to everyday people – mostly the poor, uneducated, lower echelon of society at that time.  These were not the religious leaders.  Yet Jesus was giving them a sense of self-worth and letting them know their lives mattered.  They all had something to offer. (Matthew 5)  And so do we – especially since we have Jesus Christ living in us!

So choose to be yourself.  Finger prints and DNA show us that everyone else is literally taken!

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

• Don’t say negative things about yourself.  If you keep saying, “I’m so dumb” you will start to believe it. (Proverbs 3:7)
• Don’t compare yourself with others.  You will never be happy with who you are if you constantly compare yourself to others.  Comparison leads to resentment and discontentment.
• Learn to accept the things you cannot change.  If you accept yourself it will be easier for you to be accepting of others.
• Don’t be concerned about what others think.  Be concerned about what God thinks.  God thinks you are a very special person – definitely one-of-a-kind!  He made you that way!
• However, guard against having a “that’s who I am – take it or leave” attitude.  “Being yourself” is not a license to be obnoxious, anger driven, or a jerk.  Those are qualities God can’t use except as a bad example to others.