A Year of Choices…
By Barbara Dahlgren from Barbara’s Banter at www.barbdahlgren.com
Everyone makes mistakes. Some are just plain dumb, some are thoughtless, some are complicated, and some are really bad decisions. However, one thing is inevitable. We all make mistakes. (Proverbs 24:16)
Although we can feel like failures if we don’t do everything perfectly, not all mistakes are bad. When we are trying to learn a new skill we will make mistakes until that skill is mastered. In other words we will make a mistake and then make changes or adjustments so we can master that skill.
That’s what kids do in school all the time. They misspell a word then learn how to spell it correctly. They get a math problem wrong then learn how to do it properly. There should be no stigma attached to this. When children don’t understand certain things they should be encouraged to ask questions. A better understanding helps them not to make the same mistakes in the future.
We will also make mistakes as we try to master life skills. If we don’t pay the electric bill the lights go off. If we don’t show up to work on time we may lose our jobs. If we speed we may get a ticket. If we don’t pay that speeding ticket on time the fee triples. Mistakes do have consequences.
Some mistakes like not keeping our word, over committing, breaking promises, cheating, or lying reflect our character. It shows others what kind of people we really are. However, if we are wise we learn from our mistakes so we can lead happier, healthier lives.
Some people refuse to learn from their mistakes. This is so sad to witness. A young man gets incarcerated for selling drugs, but goes back to selling drugs when released from jail. A young woman marries an abuser, gets divorced, but marries another abuser. A woman has an affair with one married man after another. Some people literally do keep doing the same thing over and over and over again expecting a different result.
Why is that?
Sometimes we don’t want to admit we’ve done anything wrong. We want to blame others or even God. Sometimes we make excuses or try to justify what we’ve done because we had good intentions. Sometimes we deceive ourselves into thinking this time it will be different even though we are still doing the same thing. The list is endless because people can always come up with excuses not to change.
Consider this… Most of us have simply developed bad habits that we are too lazy to deal with. It takes a lot of effort to re-educate ourselves or implement a new strategy. It feels uncomfortable. It’s easier to wallow around in misery than to work towards success.
And that’s what each mistake should do – lead us to success. The Bible tells us to learn from the past and move towards the future. (Isaiah 43:18-19)
Mistakes or setbacks can be learning opportunities to make us stronger for the future. Once we’ve gleaned everything we can from a mistake we should move on. No need to dwell on it or feel like a failure. No need to feel stuck or unable to move forward. No need to feel bitter and resentful. Try something different. Determine to do better. Replace bad habits with good habits. Replace error or faulty thinking with truth. Replace discouragement with faith.
That’s what Peter did. Peter denied Christ, but he became a pillar and rock in the church. He learned to rely a little more on Jesus and less on his own abilities. He also learned that God’s grace was greater than his mistakes. (John 18:15-27; John 21:15-17; Matthew 16:18)
God says He has great things in store for us in the future. (Jeremiah 29:11) However we’ll never know what they are if we don’t learn from our mistakes and move forward.
Suggestions for practicing this choice…
- Admit when you’ve made a mistake. This is not easy and may be painful. It takes a great deal of courage to take responsibility for what we do.
- Change what you need to change. Mistakes teach us what works and what doesn’t work. If what you are doing isn’t working, then change.
- Listen to feedback. All feedback may not be productive, but there are usually at least one or two things we can possibly modify or change.
- Watch the movie Groundhog Day. Bill Murray plays a jerk destined to repeat the same day over and over again, but each day he learns from his mistakes, makes changes and becomes a better person.
- Ask God to help you learn what you can and move on. (James 1:5)
