Studies show that those who master the art of forgiveness live longer, healthier lives. Psychologists, doctors, and scientists are embracing an idea considered mostly theological in the past.
According to the Mayo Clinic here are just a few of the health benefits of forgiveness…
- Healthier relationships
- Greater spiritual and psychological well-being
- Less anxiety, stress and hostility
- Lower blood pressure
- Fewer symptoms of depression
- Lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse
The WebMD website adds to these benefits a stronger immune system, less back pain and fewer headaches. Forgiveness also reduces negative emotions such as anger, bitterness and resentment.
So everyone agrees that forgiveness is good. But what exactly is forgiveness? In the last blog we found out that forgiveness is not necessarily the following: forgetting, trusting, condoning, pretending, preventing accountability, reconciliation, weakness, restoration, conditional or earned.
So what is forgiveness???? Personally I think of forgiveness as relinquishing.
Here’s the deal…all of us at one time or another have had someone betray us, hurt us, emotionally wound us, or do us wrong. So humanly speaking we think we have a justifiable “right” to hurt back, take an eye for an eye, or retaliate. When we forgive, we relinquish that “right.” Our motive changes from revenge to what is best for the individual.
This is not easy to do. Perhaps that’s why C.S. Lewis said, “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, unless they have something to forgive.” Yet the Bible tells us to forgive (Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4: 32, Luke 17:4). And we are definitely admonished not to seek revenge because God will take care of that (Romans 12:19-21). Do we trust God to take care of these things or not?
Now on the surface forgiveness appears to be a selfless act, but it really isn’t because forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves. Sometimes the person we are forgiving doesn’t even know it. Sometimes a person knows it but doesn’t care. It doesn’t matter. For in relinquishing this “right” we trade caustic, self-destructive elements such as anger, resentment, and bitterness for peace. We can cross over from being a victim to being a survivor. We can get on with our lives. We can stop the past from dictating our present or future. We can let go and let God.
Here are a couple of my favorite quotes about forgiveness…
“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” ~ Catherine Ponder
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” ~Lewis Smedes
Forgiveness is the first step on a journey to healing. It doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a hard and sometimes long process but truly worth the effort. Fostering forgiveness benefits not only our physical life but our spiritual and emotional well-being as well. Forgiveness is a win/win situation. When we do it for others, we are really doing it for ourselves.
