Barbara's Banter

Ask anyone what Valentine’s Day is all about and they will surely answer, “Love!” Ask them what love is all about and you may have dead silence. Young lovers think love is that tingling sensation they feel when hands touch and lips meet. Older married couples may think it’s about survival and sticking it out until the end. If both age groups were shooting arrows toward a heart bull’s eye, they would both miss the mark.

A young co-worker of mine had a dilemma. He felt he was “in love” with two women because he was sexually attracted to both. Realizing my husband and I had been married for over forty years he asked me if we still had the “hots” for each other. “You know,” he said. “Do you still really love each other?” I told him we have our moments. Just because there’s snow on the roof doesn’t mean there’s no fire in the furnace.

Naturally, I seized the opportunity to explain the difference between having the “hots” for someone and love. Of course I would never advise one to marry without physical attraction, but those who’ve been married a long time know physical attraction is at the shallow end of the love pool. Real love is deeper than that. We won’t all be blonde and beautiful the rest of our lives.

Love is best illustrated in 1 Corinthians 13. Called the “love” chapter, it gives the best overview of true love. True love (agape) is selfless, longsuffering, kind, and free of jealousy, envy and pride. Love protects, trusts, hopes and preserves. It triumphs over adversity. A Clint Black song translates love into modern language for couples pondering what love really is: love isn’t something you have, somewhere you fall, something you find, or just words you say – it’s something that you do! True love lays down its life for another. (John 10:18, John 15:13, 1 John 3:16)

The prime example of this is God. He loved us so much he gave his son (John 3:16, 17) who died for us while we were yet sinners. His motive was love. He didn’t have a guarantee we would love him in return. In fact many reviled him for this act of love even though there is no greater love than laying down your life for someone. God loves us that much. You might say we are his valentine. Which poses the question – is God our valentine?

There is nothing wrong with having a candlelit dinner, buying Godiva chocolates, wiring roses, or sending a sentimental card to someone you’re attracted to. A surviving marriage deserves a little celebration as well. However, let’s not forget that true love requires a bigger sacrifice. Let God be your valentine. He’s already proven that you are his!

Noises abound in our society.  Some we cannot block out like barking dogs, chirping crickets, a whirring helicopter, elevator music, or a crying baby.  Then there are noises we choose to let into our lives like television or radio.  Many of us can’t even get to sleep without some sort of “white noise” from a sound machine or a buzzing fan.  Silence does not seem to be a valued commodity today.  Yet scriptures tell us there is a time for silence (Ecclesiastes 1:7).

Perhaps one of those times is when we approach God.  While it’s true we should pour our hearts out to God and let him know how we feel, sometimes we are so busy telling God what we want or think, we don’t listen to what he’s trying to tell us.  Habakkuk 2:20 says, “The Lord is in his holy temple, let all the earth be silent before him.”   In other words there are times to approach God reverently and be silent so you can hear what he has to say (Zephaniah 1:7).  It is through silent communion with God that we can get to know him better.  “Be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10).”

I love this Mother Teresa quote:  Silence is God’s first language.  Everything else is a bad translation.”  There may be some truth in that.

I’m also reminded of a line from the T.S. Elliot poem Ash Wednesday:  “Where shall the word be found; when will the word resound?  Not here.  There is not enough silence.”

In order to experience silence we might need to get away from the noises and stresses of life so we can spend some alone time with God.  Many of us may not be able to spend a weekend at what they call Silence Retreats where people go to draw closer to God and commit to not speaking to anyone.  Many of us may not even be able to rise early and find a silent environment to pray like Jesus did (Mark 1:35-38).  However, we can all find what I like to call snippets of time to be still and be silent – one minute, two, three, four, or five.  Just five minutes to be still with God will help us know him better.

Our lives overflow with the sounds of everyday life.  Yet it’s in silence where we may often hear the whisper of God’s voice.

I’m always a little perplexed when people tell me they heard the voice of God or God told them to do this or that. Sometimes I have my doubts because most people who tell me this don’t quiet down long enough for anyone to tell them anything. How can God speak to someone who never stops talking?

While it’s true God sometimes reveals himself in powerful, miraculous ways, it’s also true he speaks with a still, small voice. If we are never quiet, we will not hear it.

Take the example of Elijah. When he fled to the wilderness in fear of Jezebel thinking he was the only person left who was true to God, he stood on the mountain to experience God (1 Kings 19:10-13). A wind force shattered the rocks, but God was not in the wind force. An earthquake rattled the ground, but God was not in the earthquake. A fire scorched the earth, but God was not in the fire. Finally Elijah heard a “gentle whisper.” In the quiet of that moment the Lord spoke to Elijah in a still, small voice. Elijah knew the sound of that whisper was God’s voice.

Sometimes if we step back from the noise of everyday life, we might hear God whispering to us. He could whisper to us through his Word. He could whisper to us through prayer. He could whisper to us while we meditate. However, if we are never silent we won’t be able to hear what he has to say.

Dan Rather once asked Mother Teresa, “What do you say to God when you pray?”

Mother Teresa answered quietly, “I listen.”

Taken aback, Rather tried again, “Well, then, what does God say?”

Mother Teresa smiled, “He listens.”

Psalm 46:10 says, “Be still and know that I am God.” All in all, I think that is pretty good advice.

As mentioned in my previous blog I was concerned when I recently heard a radio preacher condemn drinking alcoholic beverages.  He cited the death statistics for drunk drivers, scriptures focusing on wine being a mocker (Proverbs 20:1), alcohol being the root of our problematic society (Proverbs 23:31-32), and drinking leading to drunkenness (Isaiah 5:11).  These are all true.  Being drunk is bad.  It’s condemned in the Bible.  It’s a sin.  If a person chooses not to drink alcohol, he has that freedom in Christ and impressive statistics to support his position.

However, the speaker failed to quote any of the vast majority of scriptures about fermented drinks that take a positive view.  For example, these drinks were used: 

• In offerings (Exodus 29: 38-41; Numbers 28:7)
• For tithe paying (Deuteronomy 18:4)
• In worship (Matthew 26:27; 1 Corinthians 11:25-26)
• In celebrations (Genesis 14:17-20)
• To gladden a person’s heart (Psalms 104:14-15)
• In the Lord’s Supper (Matthew 26:29; Mark 14:25; Luke 22:18)
• For thanksgiving and honor to God (Proverbs 3:9-10)
• As blessings (Genesis 27:28; Joel 2:19, 24; 3:18; Amos 9:13-14)
• For medicinal purposes (Proverbs 31:6; 1 Timothy 5:23)

Fortunately the speaker had the good sense not to say the wine mentioned in the Bible was not really fermented but just grape juice, and when Jesus turned the water into wine it was a “watered” down wine (pun intended) and not potent.  

However, he did try to slam dunk his thesis with my two personal favorite reasons not to do anything – abstaining from all appearances of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22) and not causing someone to stumble (Romans 14:20).  These are great scriptures people emphasize out of context when they have no other biblical backing for their point of view.

Does he not know that from the inception of Christ’s birth, Christianity has been steeped in “appearances” of evil by the world’s standards?   A virgin gets pregnant giving the impression of immorality, Christ drinks wine leading some to call him a drunkard, he associates with sinners offending many, he wastes costly ointment to wash his feet that could have been sold to help the poor – the list could go on. 

And as far as causing someone to stumble, read all of Romans 20.  It is the deliberate action of flaunting one’s belief in someone’s face that causes the offense.  It’s that “in your face” action that God warns against.  A drinker could easily trip into this pit fall, but so could a non-drinker with an “I’m more righteous and holier than thou” attitude because he chooses not to drink.  The kingdom of God is not about meat or drink. 

Christianity misses the mark when it doesn’t give the freedom in Christ for people to make these decisions.  We can’t rewrite scripture to say, “You have heard it said in the Bible that wine is okay to drink within moderation and drunkenness is wrong, but verily I say unto you, that all drinking is wrong and a sin.”  That is not what the Bible says. 

Is all this rhetoric leading up to a license for us to go “tie one on” for the Lord?   I think not.  The point is:  if you are a Christian who chooses not to drink alcoholic beverages, do not condemn another Christian who chooses to drink them.  The point is:  if you are a Christian who chooses to drink alcoholic beverages, don’t condemn or flaunt it in front of Christians who choose not to drink. 

Is it a sin to drink wine and such?  Not according to the Bible!  But drunkenness and gluttony are.  And here are some other sins to watch out for:  judging others, condemning others, being quick to call someone a sinner, and setting up your standard as God’s.

Now, I’ll drink to that!  (But I won’t tell you if I’m having wine or grape juice!)

Before the holidays I listened to a radio-preacher tell people it was a sin to drink alcoholic beverages. This educated, well- respected minister seemed pretty well versed in the Bible and has a fairly large following. I found his message most disconcerting. It always bothers me when Christians try to support personal philosophies biblically. This tactic tarnishes the credibility of the Christian community.

Now, I’m not suggesting we take tequila shots every time we see the word “winebibber” as we read the Bible; although, this might encourage some to search the scriptures. But to condemn those who drink a glass of wine with dinner goes to the other extreme. And that seems to be the problem with people – they tend to go to extremes. Many who drink aren’t satisfied unless they are drunk; many who don’t drink aren’t satisfied unless they convince others they shouldn’t drink either. We tend to make our standard, God’s standard. What we like, God likes – whether it be music, clothing, hairstyles, food, or drink. Thus we make God over into our image, instead of the other way around.

God has given us many blessings. But every blessing can be a curse if not used properly. The following can be blessings or curses, depending on how they are used: food, sex, money, and, yes, wine, beer, and other forms of fermented beverages. Not everyone who eats is a glutton. Not everyone who has sex is an adulterer, fornicator or pervert. Not everyone who drinks is an alcoholic. The sin lies within abuse of the blessing – not the blessing itself. Why else would wine be spoken of as both good and bad in the same texts in 1 Samuel 1:14, 24 and Joel 1:5, 10?

Martin Luther summed it up well: “Do not suppose that abuses are eliminated by destroying the object which is abused. Men can go wrong with wine and women. Shall we prohibit and abolish women? The sun, moon, and stars have been worshipped. Shall we pluck them out of the sky?”

God gives us the freedom to choose whether to drink alcoholic beverages or not to drink them. What we do with that freedom is up to us. But let’s not make the mistake of condemning those who do not choose the same way we do.

(Next time we’ll delve a little more into what the scriptures say about this subject.)

The New Year is not even a week old and already my resolution to lose weight is slightly broken. Okay! That’s an exaggeration. It’s totally broken. I blame the residual effects of the holidays, which is easier than blaming myself. It happened something like this…

December 31: I resolve to eat healthy.

January 1: Is there still some eggnog left after the holidays? I think there is. I see it in the back of refrigerator. Wouldn’t that be good poured over a little scoop of butter pecan ice cream??? Yes, it would. I’ve tried it before and yes, it is good.

January 2: Is that left over cheesecake I see? I really don’t want to throw that out. I’ll just eat a little sliver.

January 3: How could there possibly be any homemade, gooey chocolate chip cookies left? But there are some! One cookie wouldn’t hurt.

So it goes. And the tragedy is that I’m usually not tempted by sweets. My downfall is meat, potatoes, and butter. I do think butter is one of the most perfect foods created. That’s about all Julia Childs and I have in common because I rarely cook anymore now that the kids are grown and out of the house.

There’s something about all those left over holiday goodies being in the house after the New Year that makes me think the celebration is not yet over. And once I slip-up on adhering to my new healthy eating resolution, I get discouraged and give up altogether. Actually, I guess I’ll use any excuse to quit doing what I know I need to do. Besides, there’s always next year.

That’s one of the problems with resolutions. We feel they must be made with the start of a new year, as if at exactly one minute past midnight of a new year we will be magically empowered with the ability to overcome our flaws. It doesn’t work that way. While it’s true a new year is a new beginning so is a new day. And it’s day to day living that eventually helps us live better lives year to year. However, day to day living cannot fully rely on our resolve because our resolve just isn’t good enough.

God in his infinite wisdom knows we need extra help living our daily lives and fortunately He provides it. He also knows our resolutions can’t be thought of annually but must be tackled daily. 2 Corinthians 4:16 says, “We do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.” Re-new means to make new again.

Each day is a new day. Each day is an opportunity to renew our resolve. When we fall, we get up and face a new day. Each day we take up our cross and follow Jesus. (Luke 9:23) God gives us what we need to make it through another day…our daily bread. (Matthew 6:11, Luke 11:3) Paul said he died daily. (1 Corinthians 15:31) He recommitted to the sacrifice Jesus made for Him daily. God’s mercies are new every morning. (Lamentations 3:23)

Let’s face it. New Year’s resolutions might be fine for the world but in the Christian life they just don’t cut it. We have to begin anew each and every day.

As the New Year nears now might be the perfect time to make those New Year’s resolutions.

Making New Year’s resolutions that we don’t intend to keep is the great American pastime. I say “American” pastime because people who live in countries who don’t have enough to eat and whose only thought is how to stay alive just one more day don’t have the luxury of resolving to lose weight, exercise more, eat healthy, make more money and quit smoking, which are the top resolutions everyone makes each year.

If you feel you’re in a resolution rut, you can find a website for almost any kind of resolution you are interested in. There are resolution sites for astrologers, dog owners, cat owners, Internet junkies, orthodontists, talk show fans, business owners, genealogists, reunion planners, mothers, portfolio people, and my personal favorite, a site for people who don’t have time to make their own resolutions.

Here’s an idea: Why not resolve to do something you really can do? Like – be nicer! Be kinder! You might stop smoking. You might become a svelte size 2. You may eat tofu and wheat grass and live to be 100. You might even gain riches beyond your wildest dreams. But if you are a disagreeable, grumpy, self consumed, grudge holding, bigoted, humorless, back biting, angry, envious, unsupportive, cantankerous person, WHO CARES what you accomplish?

The Biblical principle is to “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” (Matthew 7:12) Would you like to see people happy, giving, sharing, forgiving, and caring? It all starts with one person and ripples out to thousands of others.

Now I’m not saying you can accomplish it all in one year. In fact you have to take it one day at a time. You might start by smiling. Then you might do some random acts of kindness. Then you might say, “Please” or “Thank you.” Then you might open the door for someone who has his hands full. It’s the type of resolution you can renew daily. (2 Corinthians 4:16) If you blow it, just start all over again. Hey, everyday is the beginning of a new year.

In the words of a card I once received, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Don’t blow it!” But if you do, resolve to start all over again because “Today is the first day of the rest of your life!”

God’s Design
A Poem about Christmas
By Barbara Dahlgren

Each little snowflake
Is one-of-a-kind
Created with God’s
Own wondrous design
When joined with others
To drift through the night
They blanket the earth
With shimmering white

                    Each person you meet
                    Is one-of-a-kind
                    Formed with God’s own
                    Amazing design
                    When yielded to God
                    With Him in command
                    Each can be guided
                    By His loving hand

At this time of year
When we see the snow
Think of the Christ child
Who came long ago
Christmas can serve as
A time to remind
That we are all part of
God’s perfect design

Matthew 1:21 “And she will bear a Son;
and you shall call His name Jesus, for it is
He who will save His people from their sins.”

One of my favorite Christmas cartoons is of two men looking at a humble Mary, pregnant with the Christ child, on a donkey being led by Joseph. The caption reads, “Just another couple of homeless people. Try to ignore them.” In a way that sums up how many people view Christ at Christmastime. They go through the Christmas holidays trying to ignore Christ, the very reason for the season.

Signs read, “10 days ‘til Christmas.” Homes are a buzz with Christmas preparations. People are shopping for gifts, wrapping the presents, trimming the tree, decking the halls, hanging the mistletoe, lighting the candles, writing the cards, mailing the packages, baking the cookies, practicing for the pageant, dropping a quarter in the Salvation Army bucket, drinking the eggnog, singing the carols, having a party, and watching “Miracle on 34th Street” never realizing that the real miracle has nothing to do with a man who believes he is Santa Claus. The real miracle is the birth of Jesus Christ. Without Christ there is no Christmas.

Where do people think the name “Christmas” comes from? Christ…mass…get it? Many don’t.

The story of Jesus’ birth is not just a story. It really happened. “And it came to pass in those days, that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus that all the world should be taxed…And all went to be taxed, every one into his own city. And Joseph also went up from Galilee, out of the city of Nazareth, into Judaea, unto the city of David, which is called Bethlehem; (because he was of the house and lineage of David:) To be taxed with Mary his espoused wife, being great with child. And so it was, that, while they were there, the days were accomplished that she should be delivered. And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.” (Luke 2:1-7)

Mary was “great” with the Christ child and there was no room for them in the inn. Isn’t that ironic? Today households worldwide celebrate the birth of Christ but there is no room for Christ in their homes, either. No room in their “inns” for Jesus Christ. How sad!

It reminds me of a Chicken Soup story I read once called Trouble at the Inn. It was time for the second graders to have their annual Christmas pageant. Ralph was to be the innkeeper. Ralph had been held back a year or so and was “big, awkward, slow-moving, and slow- thinking.” Ralph wasn’t thrilled about his assignment. He wanted to be a shepherd but he finally agreed to play the part of the innkeeper. Rehearsal went okay and the much-anticipated night of the performance came.

When Joseph and Mary arrived at the innkeeper’s door, Ralph was reluctant to say his lines but as Joseph kept asking to come in, Ralph rose to the occasion. “Look elsewhere!” he said. “The inn is full! There is no room for you. Begone!” As Mary and Joseph turned to leave, Ralph’s eyes filled with tears. “Please, don’t go,” he said. Pause. Dead silence. Then Ralph smiled and spoke. “You can have my room!” That was quite possibly the best Christmas pageant those people ever saw.

Is there room in our “inn” for Jesus at Christmastime? When He knocks do we say, “Come on in. Glad to see ya! You can have my room. Thank you for bringing salvation to us. Help us celebrate your birth.” Or do we get embarrassed, look away, and say, “Just another homeless person.”

Last night we saw a live production of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol at the San Jose Repertory Theater and once again I’m reminded of why I love this story. Standing the test of time this tale has been a consistent part of the literary, theatrical, and social scene since it was published in 1843. 6,000 copies were sold in its first week of printing and within the year it inspired nine London stage productions. Every year since, countless A Christmas Carol film, theater, opera, radio and television productions have followed. Even animated celebrities like Mickey Mouse, the Muppets, Bugs Bunny, Mr. Magoo, and Barbie have starred in their own versions. It’s really quite phenomenal.

What motivated Dickens to write A Christmas Carol? It would be wonderful to say he was inspired by the spirit of Christmas, but actually, he needed the money. So much so that he wrote the book in just six weeks, made sure it was ready in time for Christmas, published it himself so he could keep the greater share of the profits, and kept it short to be more readable. It was only 74 pages while most books of the time were at 500–1000 pages long. Dickens affectionately called it his “little Christmas book” and read excerpts from it at public readings until his death.

His timing couldn’t have been better. Christmas was making a meager comeback from being a religious holiday banned about 200 years earlier by the Puritans, but times were changing. The same year A Christmas Carol was published the first Christmas cards appeared and Prince Albert brought the first Christmas tree to England. Dickens was instrumental in those changes since his story portrayed Christmas as a joyous holiday, not just a solemn, austere holy day reflecting the asceticism of that era.

A Christmas Carol deals with two of Dickens’ favorite themes: social injustice and poverty. Ebenezer Scrooge represents those who thought their wealth and status gave them the right to sit in judgment of the poor, rather than help them dig their way out of poverty. Bob Cratchit, his loyal employee, represents the poor working man just trying to eke out a meager living for his family. One of the peripheral but pivotal characters is Cratchit’s young, disabled son, Tiny Tim. In spite of Tiny Tim’s dire circumstances, he remains cheerful.

After Scrooge encounters his ghosts/spirits (Christmas Past, Christmas Present, and Christmas Future), he’s delighted to find out he has time to change his selfish ways. He becomes a good man, a true friend, and compassionate employer. He gives money to charity workers, buys gifts for everyone, spends time with his estranged family, helps the Cratchits, becomes a second father to Tiny Tim, and “it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge.”

Although variations of the plot have been done, redone, improvised, used, abused, misused, and overdone, it’s still one of my favorite Christmas stories. True, it does not emphasize the birth of Jesus, but it does have certain nuances that make us think. When Tiny Tim and his father go to church on Christmas day Tim makes a brief reference to Christ by saying we should remember the one who made lame beggars walk and blind men see.

All can relate to underlying themes throughout A Christmas Carol. Timeless themes like do unto others as you would have them do unto you, what goes around comes around, family is important, money does not bring happiness, love lasts all year long, redemption, forgiveness, and being thankful are just a few that still resonate. All worthy concepts to think about during a Christmas season.

And as far as I’m concerned, you can’t get a better ending than Tiny Tim saying, “God bless us, every one!”