Barbara's Banter

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life strives for progress, not perfection.

Those who struggle with perfection know too well the feeling of never really being good enough. Instead of focusing on the progress made, they focus on their lack of perfection. Instead of looking at how far they’ve come, they lament about how far they need to go to achieve perfection. It can be very discouraging.  

In psychological terms, perfectionism is the belief that perfection can and should be attained. Those who believe this are destined for problems and frustration because anything less than perfect is unacceptable in their eyes. A person’s self-worth is determined by flawlessness. Perfectionists set rigid standards of performance for themselves and sometimes for others. This can lead to being critical and always finding fault. Perfectionists never feel they “measure up” and neither does anyone else.

One of my favorite movie lines comes from Mary Poppins when she humorously replies, “We practically perfect people never make mistakes.” Poppins, like most everyone else, links perfection to lack of mistakes. Christians cannot afford to make this error.  

For example, Matthew 5:48 says, “Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.” However, the word “perfect” in this scripture is the Greek word “telios” which means finished, full grown, mature, lacking nothing, or brought to completeness. It has nothing to do with making mistakes or not being good enough.

People commonly think that all perfection is about physical actions such as being good, successful, or sinless. When God speaks of perfection, He wants us to “be complete” by being spiritually one with His Son Jesus Christ. This perfection is not designed to make us look good or perform flawlessly, but to let Christ’s life be manifest through us. Physical perfection is more concerned about actions we perform to a certain level, whereas spiritual perfection is about becoming totally dependent on God, letting Him work through us to perform His will—not ours. It is not concerned about “self.”   

The good news is that we are already perfect in God’s sight. We are reconciled through Jesus Christ and He lives in us. This comes not from our false concepts of trying to attain perfection or being good enough. It is a gift given freely to us. With Christ in us, we are brought to completion and we lack nothing.

Will we make mistakes? Sure! But remember, the perfection spoken of in this scripture is not about what we do; it’s about what Christ does. His life in us makes us perfect.

Those living the abundant life work for progress, not perfection. They know that only God is perfect.

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

Those living the abundant life are hard workers, but they aren’t working for fame and fortune.

Fame is a fickle mistress. What is popular today may not be popular tomorrow. So if our identity is based on our fame, how would we feel when the adulation of others is gone?

Money is a resource that can buy some physical things, but not what makes life worth living. It can’t buy health, a good marriage, a loving relationship with our children, true friendship, patience, integrity, trust, peace of mind, or wisdom. So if our identity is based on our fortune, how would we feel when we have to fly coach instead of first class?

Working for the wrong reasons can be distressing. After all, we work, work, work for stuff and when we die we have to leave it all to others. We do all the work and others get the benefit. We don’t really know what they will do with our accumulated wealth. (Ecclesiastes 2:17-19) All our precious, special treasures will end up in somebody else’s yard sale. Believe it or not, life is not measured by what we own. (Luke 12:15) And we can’t take it with us when we leave this earth behind!

Why do we work then? This is an important question, because why we do what we do determines our outlook on life.

Work is important to God. God set the example in the beginning by working to create everything. (Genesis 1 & 2) Adam and Eve were told to work in the Garden of Eden. (Genesis 2:15) We are told to work with all our might. (Ecclesiastes 9:10) We are to provide for our families. (1 Timothy 5:8) One biblical principle I stressed often to my children was: If you don’t work, you don’t eat. (2 Thessalonians 3:10) It was particularly effective before a meal. Having a work ethic is very important to God. However, God wants us to work for the right reasons.

If our purpose is just to accumulate wealth or become famous, then once we achieve those goals we will no longer have a purpose. An unhealthy desire for fame and fortune causes people to succumb to temptations and lusts that lead to destruction. (1 Timothy 5:9-10) Better to pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, patience, gentleness, and love. Better to have a right motivation. (1 Timothy 5:11)

The Bible says we should work hard, as if we are working for God, not men, because God will give us our reward. We are actually serving Jesus Christ through our work. (Colossians 3:23-24) Working hard and enjoying the fruits of our labor is actually a good thing when God is the focus of our lives. (Ecclesiastes 5:18-19)

Those living the abundant life work to honor God, not to gain fame and fortune. Fame and fortune can be nice when kept in perspective, but not necessary to live an abundant life.

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life has a healthy view of money.   

Those who don’t have money, want it. Some in their quest to get money, become involved in get-rich-quick schemes. Many who have money, want more of it. No matter how much they have, it is never enough. They become workaholics. What they don’t realize is that those who measure their self-worth by their bank account are not rich, no matter how much money they have. Jesus clearly says that one’s life is not measured by how many things he owns. (Luke 12:15)

Money is merely a resource. It can help us live a more comfortable life. It can buy us a house, a car, an entertainment center, designer jeans, a yacht, plus bigger and better toys. But if we learned anything from the Beatles—money can’t buy you love. It can’t buy you peace of mind, lasting relationships, moral fiber, good health, or even time. It doesn’t give you wisdom. (Proverbs 8:10-11) 

Those who make money their God don’t realize that every blessing they have comes from the one true God. The Bible clearly tells us the unhealthy love of money is the root of all evil. (1 Timothy 6:10) No wonder the Bible cautions those with lots of money to not be proud or trust in uncertain riches, but trust in the living God. (1 Timothy 6:17) No wonder they are told to be willing to give and share and do good with what God has given them. (1 Timothy 6:18) Because although they work hard, it is God who gives the increase. (1 Corinthians 3:6) Even the ability to work comes from God. (Deuteronomy 8:18)

Jesus said, “No one can serve two masters…” (Matthew 6:24) We cannot serve God and money. It’s true that money can sustain us, but money is mostly a resource God intends us to use for the good of others. If we make money our master, it will control and consume our lives. Much better to make money our servant and use it the way God intended. Then we can live a comfortable life, plus bring a little joy to others. Those intent on just building bigger and better barns to hold their bounty for the future, might find out they’ve missed the blessings of today. For no one is even guaranteed another day of life. (Luke 12:16-21)

Those living the abundant life know how to manage money and not let money manage them.  

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life knows how to move on.

We all have times of sadness and mourning. The Bible says there is a time for everything. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-11) There will be times when we grieve. If a loved one dies, we miss their companionship and love. If we are let go from a job, we feel disoriented. When life doesn’t work out like we planned, we might lament unfulfilled dreams.

Life is tricky. However, life is temporary. Not every day is sunny. Nor is every day rainy. The difficult part is navigating the rain until the sun shines again. It’s during those times we need to turn to God who has proven to be faithful and true. There is nothing wrong with taking some time to weep, lament, cry out, and even feel a little sorry for ourselves, but then we reach a point where we need to move on.

David did this so often in the Psalms. In many Psalms, he would transparently voice his concerns, share his frustrations, and bare his soul before God. Then he would conclude by stating how great God is, remembering how He never let Him down, and realizing God would always be with Him no matter what he was going through. He had learned to trust God.  

David was not a perfect man, but He did trust God. When the prophet Nathan told David he had sinned by having a relationship with Bathsheba and having her husband killed, David repented and was forgiven. (2 Samuel 12:13) By this time, Bathsheba had his baby. However, Nathan told David the child would not live. David was heart-broken. He pleaded with God to spare the child’s life. He wept, fasted, and lay all night on the ground. (2 Samuel 13:14-21)

When the servants told David the child was dead, he arose, cleaned up, changed his clothes, ate, and went to the house of the Lord to worship God. (2 Samuel 13:15-23) He moved on. When the servants were curious about his actions, he basically said, “When the child was alive I fasted and wept because God might have let the child live. But God has made His decision. My actions will not bring the child back.” Then he went in to comfort Bathsheba. Nine months later they had a baby named Solomon.

David trusted God. God wants to give us, His beloved children, good gifts. (Matthew 7:7-11) If God doesn’t give us what we want, we must trust that God has reasons for His decisions, even if we don’t understand what they are. With God’s help, we can move on.

Those living the abundant life know that weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in morning. So they move on to whatever our great, loving God has waiting for them. (Psalms 30:5)

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life knows how to set, keep, and respect boundaries.

Believe it or not, a person who sets, keeps, and respects boundaries can still be a loving, caring Christian. We are commanded to love our neighbors as ourselves. (Matthew 22:39) Setting boundaries does both. It helps us take care of ourselves and others. Self-care is not about self-gratification. It’s about renewing our souls, minds, bodies, and spirit so we can serve others without feeling depleted, depressed, or burned out. Good boundaries actually help us be more compassionate, forgiving, and loving towards others.

The Bible is full of exhortations about setting and respecting boundaries. We are told not to make a pest of ourselves with others or people will grow weary of us. (Proverbs 25:17) We are told not to engage in arguments. (Proverbs 26:4) When God tells us to guard our hearts, He is telling us to set spiritual boundaries. (Proverbs 4:23) When God says, “This is the way, walk ye in it,” He is giving moral boundaries. (Isaiah 30:21)

We are told if we interfere and always rescue others, we will have to keep doing it again and again, which actually makes people co-dependent on us. (Proverbs 26:4) They never learn to “bear their own load.” (Galatians 6:5) We can walk beside people so they can grow and mature, but not do everything for them. God has not promised to shield us from the consequences of our behavior, but He has promised to be with us through thick and thin. 

Jesus set boundaries. He did not make Himself readily available to everyone. (John 2:23-25) Sometimes He sent the crowds away so He could attend to His needs. He had prayer time. (Matthew 14:23, Luke 5:15-16) He took naps. (Mark 4:38) He arranged time to enjoy a meal with friends. (John 12:2) He even knew when to say no. (Matthew 5:37) He was not a people pleaser, but wanted to please God. (John 5:44)

Sometimes we are our own worst enemy when it comes to boundaries. We can’t expect others to respect boundaries we have never set. Setting up boundaries can save us from feeling stressed, anxious, unappreciated, or manipulated. People need to know where our comfort level is, which subjects we don’t wish to debate, what jokes we don’t want to hear, how much time we can devote to a project, etc.

There may be times when we need to “speak the truth in love” to let people lovingly know where our boundary is or when they’ve crossed the line. (Ephesians 4:15) There’s no need to be harsh or cruel. Prayerfully presenting facts works better than getting emotionally out of control.   

Those living the abundant life know that in order to stand firm in the faith, be brave and strong, plus do everything in love, they need to have boundaries. (1 Corinthians 16:13-14)

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life knows that freedom is not free. It comes with a cost.   

With the Fourth of July just around the corner, we went to see a revival of the musical 1776. Once again I was reminded that getting delegates from all thirteen colonies to sign the Declaration of Independence in 1776 was no small feat. In fact, it was miraculous.

The musical ends with the signing of the Declaration of Independence, but history shows us that this event was more than just writing their “John Hancock” on a piece of paper. Those men had courage. From the moment they signed their names, they became traitors in the eyes of the British. They sacrificed a lot so that we might have freedom.

Did you know that the British considered John Hancock and Sam Adams criminals and had a price on their heads? The British chased Thomas McKean, George Read, and William Hooper like foxes. They had to move their families from town to town to escape being captured. Ned Rutledge, the youngest signer, and Thomas Hayward Jr. were made prisoners of war. Richard Stockton was captured, tortured, and killed. James Otis was beaten by British and left mentally deranged.

William Floyd, Lyman Hall, George Clymer, and Lewis Morris had their homes plundered and destroyed. While “Honest John” Hart was away, his wife died during an attack on his home. His children had to flee to neighbors for refuge. Francis Lewis had his Long Island mansion destroyed. His wife was imprisoned and tortured. The Revolutionary War swept away his fortune.

War costs money, so many other fortunes were lost, too. Lewis Morris was a very wealthy merchant in Philadelphia. His home and business was destroyed. He ended up in debtor’s prison. Thomas Nelson died, also leaving his family deeply in debt.

John Morton of Pennsylvania had all of his friends (mostly Quakers) turn against him. These stories could go on and on. The trials of all 56 men are too numerous to mention. They did more than sign a historic document; they sacrificed their lives so that we might have freedom.

Someone else sacrificed His life for my freedom. His name is Jesus Christ. He was rich and for me, He became poor. (11 Corinthians 8:9) He died to give me freedom from sin and freedom from bondage. (Romans 6:18, 22; Galatians 5:1) He gave me the free gift of righteousness and the free gift of grace. (Romans 5:17; Ephesians 2:8) Through His death, I have free justification. (Romans 3:24) Christ has made us free indeed! (John 8:31-36)

Those living the abundant life realize that nothing in life is free. Someone always has to pay a price.  

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life knows how to offer a sincere apology.

Some people never apologize. Proud people have a hard time admitting they are wrong. Arrogant people know they are never wrong. Those with fragile egos can’t accept the fact they may be wrong. Others make excuses, try to justify, or claim they were provoked to do what they did. None of these are living the abundant life.

Although admitting we are occasionally wrong can be emotionally uncomfortable or painful, it is the only way to restore trust, achieve reconciliation, and strengthen relationships. Remember that God is all about relationships. Studies have shown that sincere apologies benefit the giver and receiver. Apologies actually improve physical and mental health.  

When one continually refuses to admit errors, their hearts become hardened. The Bible has a lot to say about hardened hearts. For an apology to be effective, it should be heart-felt. One can’t just go through the motions.

In the Bible, the word “hardened” means to be stubborn, bullheaded, headstrong, self-willed, inflexible, or stiff-necked. We all struggle with these proclivities from time to time. The trick is not to let these characteristics overtake and consume us. A stiff-necked person is headed for disaster. (Proverbs 29:1) Hearts that become calloused do not want to see or hear God. (Matthew 13:14-15) Hardened hearts lose their spiritual vitality. They go through the motions of being Christians, but their hearts are not in it. They may honor God with their lips, but their hearts are far from Him. (Mark 7:6-7)

When we ask God, He can replace hardened hearts with new ones that will yield to Him. (Ezekiel 36:26) This new heart will have empathy for others. God wants us to be reconciled to others. He wants us to admit when we are wrong. (Matthew 5:23-24) He also wants us to look at things from the other guy’s perspective.

Many articles and books have been written about the art of an apology. Here are some tips they offer. Apologies need to be thought out. Quick ones are not as effective. Saying, “I’m sorry you feel that way” is not as meaningful as saying, “I’m sorry I made you feel that way.” Accept responsibility for your part in any misunderstanding. Let people know you regret what happened and resolve to do better in the future.

Even if we give the perfect, heart-felt apology, there is no guarantee someone will forgive us. Pressuring others to forgive adds to hurt feelings. Some people need time and space to heal. At least, with a sincere apology, we become a stepping stone to the healing process and not a stumbling block.

Those living the abundant life know it takes a lot of moral strength, character, and courage to offer a sincere apology. They also know their lives will be richer if they do. 

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life views God as a loving father, not one whose primary purpose is to punish, reprove, penalize, chastise, rebuke, and condemn. 

Those with fathers who were distant or absent during childhood may feel God is far away and disinterested. Those with fathers who continually put them down may feel they can never be good enough for God’s blessings. Those who only received attention when they behaved badly may feel God will never notice them unless they misbehave. Those who loved their fathers dearly but were hurt when that love was never reciprocated may be reluctant to openly acknowledge love for God the Father.

We are products of our past. Those who were fortunate enough to have loving physical fathers can find it easier to believe in a loving spiritual father. It can be challenging for those whose formative years were marred with unpleasant memories of their dad to realize God is not like some earthly fathers who disappoint and abuse their power. God is a good father. 

In fact, God is the ultimate good Father. He is never too busy for us. He is always available and willing to give us His undivided attention. Rather than being quick to zap us when we get out of line, He is slow to anger and plenteous in mercy. When we need discipline, He gives it lovingly—just enough to bring us into alignment with His will. He seeks not to control us, but to love us. He loves us even if we reject Him. He believes in us, even if we don’t believe in Him.

God is not distant. He climbed into our world to get even closer to us. Like one who stoops to look into the eyes of a child to better communicate with them, He came to us. He takes us by the hand and leads us through every stage of our lives. He laughs with us, cries with us, and is with us every step of the way. He never leaves or forsakes us. (Hebrews 13:5)

His goal is not to lay down ultimatums so we will never measure up. He seeks not to condemn but to redeem. (John 3:17) God is our loving Father.  

Does our view of God matter? I think it does. If we view Him as harsh, we will be reluctant to surrender our will to His. However, if we view Him as loving and kind, we will want Him actively involved in every aspect of our lives.

We live in a disillusioning world. People let us down. Even the best of human fathers will disappoint at times. They are not perfect. But there is ONE who is perfect. He will never let us down. He gave His only begotten son to die for us. (John 3:16) His arms are always open to receive us, comfort us, be with us through life’s ups and downs, and give us that reassuring hug when we need it.

The abundant life views God as the loving Father He is, and their lives are much richer because they do.

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life knows that although change can be challenging, a smooth transition can make the process easier. 

A transition is a passage or movement from one state, stage, or place to another. Change is rarely easy. Even change for the better can be uncomfortable. How we navigate our transitions can make a significant impact on our overall mental, physical, and spiritual health.

Change is inevitable. Some changes are forced upon us due to circumstances, many beyond our control. Perhaps a spouse or child gets a debilitating disease. Maybe we must move to another area to take care of aging parents. We might face a salary cut, forced retirement, or burn out. Plus, all around us social, cultural, and political climates change.

Learning new technologies can be intimidating, but may be necessary. For example, those who refuse to get a cell phone may not be able to communicate with businesses or loved ones. I wish them luck looking for a telephone booth if they want to make a call while out and about. Even Clark Kent has had to find a different way to change into Superman.  

All transitions, for the good or for the bad, can involve a certain amount of discomfort. There is a learning curve for anything new we encounter. It’s a growth process. The way we always did things in the past may need to be adapted or updated, and done differently. Different is not necessarily bad. It’s just not what we are used to.

However, realizing that change is a normal part of life can make difficult transitions easier. Any

change will bring some challenges. If we know a certain change is definitely for good, then it’s better to embrace it, not fight it.

During transitions, we can remain stable if we cling to constants that do not change, such as our values and Christian principles. Jesus Christ is still the same yesterday, today, and forever. (Hebrews 13:8) The Word of God is still the solid foundation of truth. (2 Timothy 3:16) Prayer, Bible study, and meditating on God’s Word may sound like cliché’ advice, but seeking God is still the key that aids in coping in any situation. Let’s not make the mistake of limiting what God can do in our lives or the lives of others. The gospel message is always the same but how it is presented may need to adjust with changing times.   

Since change is inevitable, transitions are always with us—in the workplace, at school, in our communities, in society, at home, in our lives, and in ministry. Those living the abundant life have learned to walk with God as they transition into whatever the future holds.

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life knows that change is hard. In fact, just mention the word “change” and an automatic resistance shield springs up around most of us.

Yes, change can be hard. Yet, change is inevitable—in our families, our homes, our communities, our world, our church, and everywhere. It’s been said that the only constant in life is change. Some changes are beyond our control and thrust upon us. Some changes we may have to accept. Others we must choose.

Change can be a friend or a foe, but it’s never easy. The Russian empress Catherine the Great described the changing times of the eighteenth century this way: “A great wind is blowing and that gives you either imagination or a headache.” Not much has changed regarding our reaction to change since then. We don’t like it. We struggle with it. We resist it. We fear it. However, as things around us change, we must adapt or make changes as well. Sometimes our survival depends on our ability to change.

When the Israelites faced the prospect of entering Canaan, they sent scouts out to take a look at this land God had promised them—a land “flowing with milk and honey.” Indeed, the land was all God said it would be. (Numbers 13:27) However, they perceived those inhabiting this land as much stronger than they were. (Numbers 13:31-33) So instead of going forward with God’s blessings, the majority wanted to return to Egypt where they had been enslaved. (Numbers 14:1-4) They would have preferred something familiar no matter how bad it was, rather than moving forward into the unknown.

Many of us are like that when faced with a significant change. Since we can’t be certain of the outcome, we back away. Some of us would prefer to just live in pain or be unhappy instead of stepping out in faith. However, if we want things to be different, we cannot remain the same. We either choose to act in faith or react in fear.

God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and a strong mind. (2 Timothy 1:7) The spirit He gives us has the ability to make changes when needed. Positive changes can mean growth. Those unwilling to change can become stagnant, lifeless, and lethargic.  

Many think that if they change it means what they’ve done in the past was all wrong. The past doesn’t have to be put in a negative context. After all, the past was a stepping stone to the future. Let’s face it, what we did fifty years ago may have worked well then, but times change. Circumstances change.

This is very evident in presenting the gospel message to others. The message is the same because Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8), but how we present it to others may need to adapt with the times.

Those living the abundant life know that if they don’t like what they are getting out of life, they must change what they are giving. In other words, they strive to be the change they want to see in others.

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)