The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…
The abundant life knows how to offer a sincere apology.
Some people never apologize. Proud people have a hard time admitting they are wrong. Arrogant people know they are never wrong. Those with fragile egos can’t accept the fact they may be wrong. Others make excuses, try to justify, or claim they were provoked to do what they did. None of these are living the abundant life.
Although admitting we are occasionally wrong can be emotionally uncomfortable or painful, it is the only way to restore trust, achieve reconciliation, and strengthen relationships. Remember that God is all about relationships. Studies have shown that sincere apologies benefit the giver and receiver. Apologies actually improve physical and mental health.
When one continually refuses to admit errors, their hearts become hardened. The Bible has a lot to say about hardened hearts. For an apology to be effective, it should be heart-felt. One can’t just go through the motions.
In the Bible, the word “hardened” means to be stubborn, bullheaded, headstrong, self-willed, inflexible, or stiff-necked. We all struggle with these proclivities from time to time. The trick is not to let these characteristics overtake and consume us. A stiff-necked person is headed for disaster. (Proverbs 29:1) Hearts that become calloused do not want to see or hear God. (Matthew 13:14-15) Hardened hearts lose their spiritual vitality. They go through the motions of being Christians, but their hearts are not in it. They may honor God with their lips, but their hearts are far from Him. (Mark 7:6-7)
When we ask God, He can replace hardened hearts with new ones that will yield to Him. (Ezekiel 36:26) This new heart will have empathy for others. God wants us to be reconciled to others. He wants us to admit when we are wrong. (Matthew 5:23-24) He also wants us to look at things from the other guy’s perspective.
Many articles and books have been written about the art of an apology. Here are some tips they offer. Apologies need to be thought out. Quick ones are not as effective. Saying, “I’m sorry you feel that way” is not as meaningful as saying, “I’m sorry I made you feel that way.” Accept responsibility for your part in any misunderstanding. Let people know you regret what happened and resolve to do better in the future.
Even if we give the perfect, heart-felt apology, there is no guarantee someone will forgive us. Pressuring others to forgive adds to hurt feelings. Some people need time and space to heal. At least, with a sincere apology, we become a stepping stone to the healing process and not a stumbling block.
Those living the abundant life know it takes a lot of moral strength, character, and courage to offer a sincere apology. They also know their lives will be richer if they do.
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“…I have come that they may have life and that they
may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)
