The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…
The abundant life knows how to set, keep, and respect boundaries.
Believe it or not, a person who sets, keeps, and respects boundaries can still be a loving, caring Christian. We are commanded to love our neighbors as ourselves. (Matthew 22:39) Setting boundaries does both. It helps us take care of ourselves and others. Self-care is not about self-gratification. It’s about renewing our souls, minds, bodies, and spirit so we can serve others without feeling depleted, depressed, or burned out. Good boundaries actually help us be more compassionate, forgiving, and loving towards others.
The Bible is full of exhortations about setting and respecting boundaries. We are told not to make a pest of ourselves with others or people will grow weary of us. (Proverbs 25:17) We are told not to engage in arguments. (Proverbs 26:4) When God tells us to guard our hearts, He is telling us to set spiritual boundaries. (Proverbs 4:23) When God says, “This is the way, walk ye in it,” He is giving moral boundaries. (Isaiah 30:21)
We are told if we interfere and always rescue others, we will have to keep doing it again and again, which actually makes people co-dependent on us. (Proverbs 26:4) They never learn to “bear their own load.” (Galatians 6:5) We can walk beside people so they can grow and mature, but not do everything for them. God has not promised to shield us from the consequences of our behavior, but He has promised to be with us through thick and thin.
Jesus set boundaries. He did not make Himself readily available to everyone. (John 2:23-25) Sometimes He sent the crowds away so He could attend to His needs. He had prayer time. (Matthew 14:23, Luke 5:15-16) He took naps. (Mark 4:38) He arranged time to enjoy a meal with friends. (John 12:2) He even knew when to say no. (Matthew 5:37) He was not a people pleaser, but wanted to please God. (John 5:44)
Sometimes we are our own worst enemy when it comes to boundaries. We can’t expect others to respect boundaries we have never set. Setting up boundaries can save us from feeling stressed, anxious, unappreciated, or manipulated. People need to know where our comfort level is, which subjects we don’t wish to debate, what jokes we don’t want to hear, how much time we can devote to a project, etc.
There may be times when we need to “speak the truth in love” to let people lovingly know where our boundary is or when they’ve crossed the line. (Ephesians 4:15) There’s no need to be harsh or cruel. Prayerfully presenting facts works better than getting emotionally out of control.
Those living the abundant life know that in order to stand firm in the faith, be brave and strong, plus do everything in love, they need to have boundaries. (1 Corinthians 16:13-14)
*****
“…I have come that they may have life and that they
may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)
