One More Year of Choices
By Barbara Dahlgren
Jesus came so we could have life, and have it more abundantly. (John 10:10) This is not referring to health and wealth. It’s telling us that Jesus came to give us eternal life, plus we have an even more abundant life while here on earth, because Jesus resides in us. We have a relationship with Him.
Unfortunately, there are factors wanting to hinder that relationship. The first part of John 10:10 says there is a thief who comes to kill, destroy, and steal. So there are thieves trying steal that relationship with Jesus from us. I think one of those thieves is false guilt.
I like to classify guilt into two categories: real guilt and false guilt.
For the Christian, real guilt comes from going against our conscience. We want our conscience in agreement with God’s standard. Then it can let us know when we’ve blown it or sinned. At these times, it is only natural to feel remorse for what we’ve done. Real guilt helps us acknowledge when we’ve done something wrong, but it doesn’t condemn us to a life-sentence of punishment, like Satan would have us believe. (John 3:17; Romans 8 1-2) We bring these mistakes before God and He forgives us. (Ephesians 1:7; Psalm 32:1-2) He remembers our sins no more. (Hebrews 8:14)
However, false guilt is different. False guilt comes from us not living up to our own standard of righteousness, not God’s. We might feel guilty because we ate fast food, don’t pray enough, don’t study our Bibles enough, aren’t involved at church, need to lose weight, don’t serve at the homeless shelter, or haven’t called our parents in a week. These feelings are painful, but it’s not real guilt, which is the result of not living up to God’s standards. It’s false guilt trying to masquerade itself as real guilt because these are our own self-imposed standards.
For example, let’s say we feel guilty because we don’t study our Bibles enough every day. How much time does God say we should spend on personal Bible study every day? Well, He doesn’t really say, does He? There are biblical principles to study God’s Word but God gives us the freedom to decide how often and how long. We might want to set a standard of so much Bible study a day, but we have to realize this is our standard, not God’s. So there should be no real guilt connected to it if we fall short of our own expectation. This would be false guilt because we haven’t done anything wrong.
Another example might be feeling guilty because we didn’t give enough in the offering plate last week. How much money does God say we should give as an offering each week? Well, He doesn’t really say, does He? The Old Testament had a specific tithing command but the New Testament does not. However, there is a biblical principle of giving to God and of generosity. However, we have the freedom to decide how much, to whom, and so on. We might want to give more than ten percent. We aren’t limited in what we do in this area. Actually the amount we give is not as important as how we give it anyway – from the heart. We have the freedom to decide how much.
The Old Covenant was all about lists of “do’s and don’ts.” The New Covenant is about Jesus living His resurrected life in us. We do not earn salvation; it is a free gift.
Consider this… The Bible tells us that problems occurred when Christians wanted to impose the Old Testament practice of circumcision on new Gentile converts. They tried to make the Gentiles feel like they weren’t Christians unless they got circumcised. Major guilt trip! Paul had to set them straight. (Galatians 5:2) Is circumcision wrong? Of course not! But it is not necessary for salvation.
In so many areas of our lives God gives us the freedom to decide, using biblical principles as guides – without condemnation. Someone else might try to put us on a guilt trip because we don’t want to teach Sunday School, serve on the PTA, or run in a marathon for cancer, but God does not. There is freedom in Christ. We can’t do everything, so God gave us the freedom to prayerfully decide what to do and what not to do, without feeling guilty.

Suggestions for practicing this choice…
There is a line between being guilty and feeling guilty. Beware of legalism, which is designed to make us feel guilty because we don’t measure up. Legalism invents rules that go way beyond what God intended.
Get over the “not doing enough” syndrome. We will never be able to “do enough!”
Be wary of spiritual teachers who always want you to earn your salvation by doing more, more, more.
Don’t try to motivate others by putting them on a guilt trip. You don’t like it when it’s done to you, so don’t do it to others.
The way to cope with true guilt is to admit your mistakes, say you’re sorry, try to make amends, repent, change, and move on. True guilt was not designed to hold us captive, just hold us accountable. Even when we try to make amends, others may not forgive us. We may have to learn to live with that. Fortunately, God does forgive.
When God encourages us to be giving instead of selfish, it may appear He is just looking out for the other guy. However, scientific research shows that when we give to others, our brain activity in the temporoparietal (easy for you to say???) junction and ventral striatum increases. These are the areas where our feelings of pleasure and happiness come from. Just a pledge to help others produces a warm glow of happiness and contentment. God is truly amazing. He puts systems in place that benefit both the giver and receiver. It’s a win/win scenario.
One definition of a miracle is an extraordinary event that brings a welcomed consequence. Years ago, before moving pictures, visual effects, and technology that constantly shocks the senses, people seemed to appreciate their surroundings more. They realized that life itself is a miracle. The whole universe is a miracle.


We received a lovely note from someone. She said, “I have not forgotten about you or all the good advice you gave me. Please don’t give up on me…” Those are powerful words: Please don’t give up on me.
Having been born in the foothills of the Ozarks, I know a bit about grudge mentalities. Now don’t get me wrong! I love my roots, but mountain and hill people have a reputation for holding a grudge. Of course, so did the Godfather, but I’m not from Sicily. Grudges can last forever – long after those who felt mistreated are dead and buried. Yet the hatred against one family or another lives on. The Hatfields and McCoys fought so long that no one remembered what the original argument was about. Nothing good comes from holding a grudge. People become bitter and resentful.

We all know the story of Job in the Bible. He was a wealthy, loyal servant of God who was afflicted by Satan and lost everything he had. He was miserable. So his friends came to help. However, Job’s friends were not helpful. In fact, they added to Job’s misery. If we aren’t careful, we can add to a person’s misery, all the while thinking we are being helpful.


Today we have many options. Most options were probably created to make life easier, but that is not always the way it works out. Too many options can leave us confused, making decisions difficult and life complicated.
Some miss the mark by thinking people are lost because we do not do our part. If God is depending on us to bring everyone to salvation, salvation is doomed before it starts. We are flawed human beings. God is omnipotent. He knows better than to leave the salvation of the world in our feeble hands.
