Barbara's Banter

Choices change our lives…

By Barbara Dahlgren

Each New Year we make resolutions to help us change our lives for the better. Although we usually have every intention of keeping them, all too soon they are abandoned because change is hard. Most of us want changes to instantly happen without any effort on our part.

We think if we write them down they will miraculously come to pass. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works.

That’s why for the past few years I’ve resolved not to make resolutions, but to focus on daily choices instead. So my blogs have been devoted to choices and will be until I exhaust my idea file about choices. Hmmm??? Not sure when that will be, but one things for sure, we will never exhaust our need to make choices. We face them daily.

Some choices are proactive and some are a little more passive, but just as important. In other words, what we choose not to do is as important as what we choose to do. On the surface, consciously “choosing not” to do something may seem complacent, perfunctory, or lazy. I assure you that it is not any of these things. In fact, what we “choose not” to do can take a great deal of thought and self-control, plus save us a lot of present and future trouble. Ultimately, what we choose to do or not do greatly impacts our lives and the lives of those around us.

Here are some givens in life: God has forgiven us for our sins. Nothing we can do will ever earn us salvation because it is a gift from God. (Ephesians 2:8) Nothing we can do will make God love us anymore than He already does.

However, even though God gives us salvation, grace, and love, He does not automatically give us good habits or moral character. Those qualities are determined by the choices we make.

Right choices bring peace of mind; bad choices bring difficulty.

God does not need to zap us when we do something wrong, because wrong choices bring their own penalties. When we make wrong choices, we punish ourselves. It’s the cause and effect principle. What we sow, we reap. The seeds we sow today determine the harvest we reap tomorrow. Although God always forgives us when we make poor choices, the effects remain and we have to deal with and live with them. Choices set off a chain of events which shape our lives and sometimes the lives of those around us.

While it is that true time and chance happen, many of our problems could be avoided if we trained ourselves to make better choices. A lot of trials are brought on because of our poor choices; other trials may not be our fault, but still we must choose how to respond to them. So there is always an element of choice in everything we do.

Consider this… The Bible is full of exhortations encouraging us to walk in the way of the Lord. As we read the Bible we can listen for God’s voice whispering to us, “This is the way, walk ye in it.” (Isaiah 30:21) God exhorts us to do this or don’t do that, but the choice is ours.

Some choice quotes about choices…

“We all make choices, but in the end our choices make us.” ~Ken Levine, video game designer and author

“It is our choices that show what we truly are far more than our abilities.” ~J.K. Rowling, author

“When it snows you have two choices: shovel or make snow angels.” ~Anonymous

“Do not envy a man of violence and do not choose any of his ways.” ~Proverbs 3:31

“One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words. It is expressed in the choices one makes. In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” ~Roy Disney, co-founder of Walt Disney Productions

Yet, Another Year of Choices

By Barbara Dahlgren

Each New Year brings resolutions we make for changes that will better our lives. Although we usually have every intention of keeping them, all too soon they are abandoned because change is hard. Most of us want changes to instantly happen without any effort on our part. We think if we write them down they will miraculously come to pass. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works.

That’s why for the past few years I’ve resolved not to make resolutions but to focus on daily choices instead. I have shared these choices with you on this weekly blog. Last year we focused more on passive choices – things we chose not to do. On the surface, consciously “choosing not” to do something may seem complacent, perfunctory, or lazy, but if you’ve followed this blog you will know it’s not. In fact, what we “choose not” to do can take a great deal of thought and self-control, plus save us a lot of present and future trouble. However, this year we will continue with more proactive choices – things we choose to actively do.

Choices we make can affect our lives and the lives of those around us. Right choices can bring peace of mind; wrong choices bring problems. While it’s true God can bail us out of wrong choices, He usually chooses not to do that so we can learn lessons. Even though there are life-lessons we need to learn, our wrong choices will never negate God’s love and forgiveness for us. Those are constants!

Hopefully we all know that God has forgiven us for our sins – past, present, and future. Nothing we can do will ever earn us salvation because it is a gift from God. (Ephesians 2:8) Nothing we can do will make God love us anymore than He does. Christians who perform lists of do’s and don’ts, trying to get God to love them, do not understand God’s grace. God’s love is freely given to us!

However, even though God gives us salvation, grace, and love, He does not automatically give us good habits or moral character. Those qualities are determined by the choices we make. That’s why Paul encouraged the Philippians to put into practice what they had heard or seen in him. (Philippians 4:9) As a result of practicing these right choices, they would receive peace of mind. Jesus said those who practice what He said are like those who build on a solid foundation. (Matthew 7:24)

Consider this… God does not need to zap us when we do something wrong, because wrong choices bring their own penalties. When we make wrong choices we punish ourselves. It’s the cause and effect principle. What we sow, we reap. Although God always forgives us when we make poor choices, the effects remain and we have to deal with and live with them.

While it is true that time and chance happen, many of our problems could be avoided if we trained ourselves to make better choices. A lot of trials are brought on because of our poor choices; other trials may not be our fault, but still we must choose how to respond to them. So there is always an element of choice in everything we do.

So here we go with yet another year of choices! If we resolve to practice making better choices every day, we will have a happier New Year – and so will everyone around us.

Some choice quotes about choices…

“It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” ~Roy Disney, co-founder of Walt Disney Productions

“We all make choices but in the end our choices make us.” ~Ken Levine, video game designer and author

“When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that is in itself a choice.” ~William Jennings Bryant, American orator and statesman

“One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words. It is expressed in the choices one makes.  In the long run, we shape our lives and we shape ourselves.  The process never ends until we die.  And the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

“When it snows you have two choices: shovel or make snow angels.” ~Anonymous

One More Year of Choices

By Barbara Dahlgren

I love the Christmas season. I love the sparkly lights on the houses in the neighborhood. I love our artificial Christmas tree loaded down with inexpensive ornaments that have priceless meaning to family members. I love lyrical Christmas carols being played as we shop. I love trying to find the right gift for each loved one. I love sneaking a little candy wrapped in red and green foil from the bowl filled to the brim on the coffee table. I love watching old movies like It’s a Wonderful Life, Christmas in Connecticut, and Miracle on 34^th Street every year.

Speaking of miracles, I love the miracle that Christmas stems from – the birth of Christ. While all the miracles surrounding Christ’s birth are impressive, to me the real miracle of Christ’s birth is that our Savior Emmanuel came to earth to be with us. Emmanuel means God with us.

“Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Emmanuel, which is translated, ‘God with us.’” ~Matthew 1:23

God with us! What a miracle! It’s one I don’t want to ever lose sight of in the midst of all the other Christmas festivities. God desires to be with us – so much so that He came to us. He is with us all the time. He’s with us in the good times and bad times. He’s with us when we feel like we can’t go on. He’s with us when our hearts are breaking. He celebrates with us. He cries with us. He feels our pain, plus helps us cope, keep perspective, and survive.

“Yea, though I walk through the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for you are with me.” ~Psalm 23:4

Many want to keep Christ in a manger or at a distance instead of letting Him be a part of our lives. As an added bonus, He will never leave or forsake us.

“For He Himself has said, ‘I will never leave you or forsake you.’” ~Hebrews 13:5

Consider this… Christmas is a wonderful time of year. We may receive all kinds of gifts from friends and family, but the greatest gift of all is Jesus Christ. The very fact that He wants to be with us should fill us with joy – not just at Christmastime, but every moment of our lives. If we let Him live within us, we will never have to feel alone again.

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

Always remember that your life has purpose. Watch It’s a Wonderful Life. There are many life lessons there. Just think about what Clarence the angel writes to George in the last scene: “Remember, George, no man is a failure who has friends.” Maybe you think you don’t have any friends. Think again! Jesus is your friend! (John 15:15; John 15:13)

My favorite Christmas quote comes from Taylor Caldwell. “I was never alone at all. And that, of course, is the message of Christmas. We are never alone. Not when the night is darkest, the wind is coldest, the world seeming indifferent.” Just think of the phrase “the message of Christmas is that we are not alone” and repeat it often. It does wonders for your frame of mind.

The above Taylor Caldwell quote comes from her short story A Christmas Miracle. It’s worth reading every Christmas.

Don’t isolate yourself at Christmastime. Invite someone over to share a glass of bubbly. Accept an invitation to someone’s house and bring some bubbly. If you think you have no one to share Christmas with, spend it with Jesus. He loves your company.

Memorize 2 Corinthians 9:15. “Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!” The gift of Jesus is priceless. Give thanks to God for it often.

One More Year of Choices

By Barbara Dahlgren

One of my favorite stories is A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. Standing the test of time, this tale has been a consistent part of the literary, theatrical, and social scene since it was first published shortly before Christmas in 1843. 6,000 copies were sold in its first week of printing and within the year it inspired nine London stage productions.

Every year since, countless A Christmas Carol film, theater, opera, radio, and television productions have followed. Variations of the plot have been done, redone, improvised, used, abused, and overdone. Even animated celebrities like Mickey Mouse, the Muppets, Bugs Bunny, Mr. Magoo, and Barbie have starred in their own versions. It’s really quite phenomenal. And guess what? I love them all!

A Christmas Carol deals with two of Dickens’ favorite themes: social injustice and poverty. Ebenezer Scrooge represents those who thought their wealth and status gave them the right to sit in judgment of the poor, rather than help them dig their way out of poverty. Bob Cratchit, his loyal employee, represents the poor working man just trying to eke out a meager living for his family. One of the peripheral but pivotal characters is Cratchit’s young, disabled son, Tiny Tim. In spite of Tiny Tim’s dire circumstances, he remains cheerful.

This story has become so much a part of history that the word “scrooge” has crept into the English language. It means a person unwilling to give to others. He’s mean, miserly, selfish, and stingy. He hates people. A scrooge mirrors characteristics of Ebenezer Scrooge. “Bah humbug!” he says to anyone who would wish him a merry Christmas. Scrooge has no good will for fellow humans.

However, what really makes Dickens’ book so good is that Ebenezer Scrooge changes his outlook. After he encounters three ghosts/spirits (Christmas Past, Christmas Present, and Christmas Future) who help him see how he really is, he has an epiphany. He doesn’t want to be remembered as a penny-pinching grouch. He’s an old man, but decides that for the rest of his life he will change his selfish ways. He becomes a good man, a true friend, and compassionate employer. He gives money to charity workers, buys gifts for everyone, spends time with his estranged family, helps the Cratchits, becomes a second father to Tiny Tim, and “it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge.”

All can relate to underlying themes throughout A Christmas Carol.  Timeless themes like do unto others as you would have them do unto you, what goes around comes around, family is important, money does not bring happiness, love lasts all year long, redemption, forgiveness, and being thankful are just a few that still resonate. All worthy concepts to think about not just at Christmastime, but all year long.

True, it does not emphasize the birth of Jesus, but it does have certain nuances that make us think. When Tiny Tim and his father go to church on Christmas Day, Tim makes a brief reference to Christ by saying we should remember the One who made lame beggars walk and blind men see. And as far as I’m concerned, you can’t get a better ending than Tiny Tim saying, “God bless us, every one!”

Consider this… We are never too old to change. How do we want to be remembered? As Christians we should want people to see a reflection of Christ in us. That may require us to make a few changes. Christ came to earth to give us an example to follow. It definitely wasn’t one of a penny-pinching grouch. It was one of being generous and caring towards others. That’s something to think about not just at Christmastime but every day of our lives.

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

Go see a live performance of A Christmas Carol or watch one of the film versions. Look for themes mentioned in this blog.

Ask God to help you be a more generous, loving, and caring person.

Look for a way to bless the life of another person. A simple act of kindness can mean a lot. Even a smile can lift another’s spirit.

As Christmas carols are being played, actually reflect on the meaning of the songs as you hum along.

When tempted to be in a negative mood say, “God bless us everyone!” It will do wonders for your daily outlook.

One More Year of Choices

By Barbara Dahlgren

Some say the story of Christmas begins with the birth of the Christ child, but long before Jesus was born there was something wonderful…the promise of His coming and the promise of redemption for mankind.

Psalm 130:7-8 told us, “O Israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with Him is full redemption. He himself will redeem Israel from all their sins.”

Jeremiah 23:4-5 said a day was coming when God would raise up a king who would reign wisely and do what was right. His name would be “The Lord Our Righteousness.”

Isaiah 11:2-5 said the Spirit of the Lord would rest on Him, plus the spirit of wisdom, understanding, counsel, power, knowledge, and fear of the Lord. He would not judge by what He saw or heard but with righteousness.

Isaiah 9:6-7 told us, “Unto us a child will be born, to us a Son is given, and the government will be on His shoulders. He will be called: Wonderful, Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of Peace.”

Over 300 prophecies were fulfilled through Jesus’ birth, His life, His ministry, His death and resurrection. Not just the promise of Christ’s coming was revealed in scripture but the details of how it would take place. This truly was a miraculous event!

He would be from the tribe of Judah (Genesis 49:10; Luke 3:3), a descendant of Abraham (Genesis 12:3; Matthew 1:1), Isaac (Genesis 17:19; Luke 3:24), Jacob (Numbers 24:17; Matthew 1:2), Jesse (Isaiah 11:10; Romans 15:12), and David (Jeremiah 23:5-6; Matthew 1:1).

He would be born of a woman (Genesis 3:15; Galatians 4:4), a virgin (Isaiah 7:11; Luke 1:26-31) in Bethlehem (Micah 5:2; Luke 2:4-7), worshipped by shepherds (Psalm 72:9; Luke 2:8-15) and honored by kings (Psalm 72:10, 17; Isaiah 60:3; Matthew 2:1-11). The slaughter of children (Jeremiah 31:15; Matthew 2:16-18) and flight to Egypt (Hosea 11:1; Matthew 2:14-15) were foretold as well. The list goes on and on.

I love the thought of jolly old St. Nick, stockings hung with care, sleigh bells jingling in the snow, trees twinkling with lights, halls decked with holly, colorful presents lovingly wrapped, a snowman coming to life, Christmas card greetings, kissing under the mistletoe, and a red-nosed reindeer. I laugh when I hear “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” and secretly wish Santa would slip a sable (faux sable, if I want to be politically correct) under the tree for me. It all adds to the festivities!

But consider this… None of those things can compare with God’s gift of redemption to all. Let us never forget that without Christ there is no Christmas.

So this Christmas season as you sing your favorite carols, may you remember the birth of Jesus. Only in honoring Christ can we truly partake of the genuine joy in celebrating!

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

Hang a stocking for Christ and have each one in the family write a note of appreciation to Him for specific blessings.

Read Luke 2:1-21.

Consider attending a Christmas Pageant at a local church.

Reach out to others less fortunate. (Matthew 25:42-25)

From now until Christmas, thank God every day for His indescribable gift – Jesus. You might consider doing this often all year long. (2 Corinthians 9:15)

One More Year of Choices

By Barbara Dahlgren

Stress used to be an engineering term. Years ago people were anxious, nervous, worried, or fretful but not stressed. In the 1950s stress became a psychological term referring to conditions brought on by major catastrophes in a person’s life such as death, divorce, or life threatening disease. Today just the thought of getting out of bed to face another day can cause stress.

Here are some things recent research says causes stress: being married, not being married, having children, not having children, having a job, not having a job, working more than 40 hours a week, working less than 40 hours a week, retirement, your spouse’s job, your spouse not having a job, having sex, not having sex, taking a vacation, not taking a vacation, having family outings, not having family outings, playing the stock market, not playing the stock market, and so on and so forth. You might say, “You’re stressed if you do and you’re stressed if you don’t!” It has us coming and going.

Many turn to religion thinking that God in His infinite wisdom will miraculously take away all stress. Unfortunately, the Christian way of life is not promised to be stress free. Just look at the great leaders in the Bible and ask yourself, “Were they stressed?”

Abraham and Sarah were elderly when they had Isaac. Noah had to build an ark without a cloud in the sky. Rahab put her life on the line for spies. Elijah hid in a cave from Jezebel. Jonah was swallowed by a big fish. Daniel was cast into a lion’s den. David fled for his life from Saul. Job lost everything he had.

Joseph was a know-it-all teenager who couldn’t keep his mouth shut, alienated his brothers, was sold into slavery and cast into prison for many years before he became a prominent advisor to the king of Egypt.

Moses killed a man, fled Egypt for many years, agreed under duress to lead the children of Israel to freedom, dealt with mumbling Israelites, struck a rock in frustration, and didn’t even get to see the promised land.

Do you think they were stressed?

We live in a 24/7 world. Society demands more and more of us. However, many times we give in to demands when we don’t need to. Only we can decide what our personal limitations and priorities are. Even with that, we only have so much control. Stress is a part of life.

Consider this… God doesn’t take away stress factors, but He can help us cope, give us peace, and walk with us every step of our way. Focusing on Jesus and not our circumstances can help us keep perspective and remain calm during the stresses of life. Various stresses will come and go, but Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever. (Hebrews 13:8)

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

Since we are entering the Christmas season, here are some ideas for having less stress during the holidays.

During the hustle and bustle of the season, determine to keep Christ in the picture. Say little prayers thanking Him for your blessings throughout your busy, busy days.

Resist the urge to be Martha Stewart or Bob Villa during the holidays. You don’t always have to go bigger for things to be better.

Forgo the “some assembly required” or “needs an expensive battery instead of a AA or AAA battery” gifts. Think simplistically. If Ikea has taught us anything, it’s that “not everything is as easily assembled as they tell you it is.”

Eat healthy and get plenty of rest. If you think you’re stressed now, just wait until you get sick!

Invest in a little Christmas devotional book to help you focus on the true meaning of Christmas.

One More Year of Choices

By Barbara Dahlgren

Is God our “let’s make a deal” guy? Do we bargain with God saying, “If you do this for me, I’ll do that for you?” That’s not really a good idea. Although we may have the best intentions, we are human. We don’t always keep our end of the bargain. God is fully capable of keeping His promises, but sometimes we are not.

I remember one time my husband was bringing a group of kids to our house for a youth activity. It was getting late. It started snowing. I was getting worried. I remember praying, “Oh Lord, just bring him home safe and sound, and I won’t be upset that he didn’t call.” The minute he walked in the door I lost it and heatedly said, “Why didn’t you call? I’ve been worried sick.” So much for making bargains! God did His part, though. My husband and all the kids were safe and sound.

Bargaining or negotiating with God may seem like a viable plan when we are in a desperate situation, but it’s certainly not the best use of prayer. Wouldn’t trusting God be a better approach?

Here’s a biblical example to think about: Jephthah wanted peace with the Ammonites, but they rejected his diplomatic efforts. As he led the Israelite army’s advance against this hostile nation, Jephthah made a vow to God. “If you give the Ammonites into my hands, whatever comes out of the door of my house to meet me when I return triumphant will be the Lord’s, and I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering.” God gave him what he bargained for, but the cost was high. His only child, his beloved daughter, heard of their victory and was the first to come joyfully dancing out the front door to greet him. Jephthah was devastated. (Judges 11:30-35)

In contrast, here’s another example: David knew he had sinned by having a relationship with Bathsheba. He had her husband killed in battle so he could marry her. When the prophet Nathan pointed this out to him, David repented and was forgiven. David was not a perfect man, but he always accepted responsibility for his actions. (2 Samuel 12:13) By this time, Bathsheba had his baby. Nathan told David the child would not live. David was heartbroken. He pleaded with God to spare the child’s life. He wept, fasted, and lay all night on the ground. However, I don’t think he was making any bargains with God. No matter how painful a situation was, David trusted God. (2 Samuel 13:14-21) Here’s how we know…

When the servants told David the child was dead, he arose, cleaned up, changed his clothes, ate, and went to the house of the Lord to worship God. (2 Samuel 13:15-23) When the servants were curious about his actions, he basically said, “When the child was alive I fasted and wept because God might have let the child live. But God has made His decision. My actions will not bring the child back.” Then he went to comfort Bathsheba. Nine months later they had a baby named Solomon.

David trusted God. We don’t need to bargain with God. All we need to do is ask. God wants to give us, His beloved children, good gifts. (Matthew 7:7-11) If God doesn’t give us what we want, we must trust that God has reasons for His decisions, even if we don’t understand what they are.

Consider this… God doesn’t need to make deals. We either trust God or we don’t. We either think God loves us or we don’t. It’s best not to try to manipulate God into giving us what we want. He has all the bargaining power; we have none.

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

Who wants to worship a God who can be manipulated? Think about it!

Trust God.

When tempted to bargain with God, don’t.

Don’t make vows to God, because you aren’t really sure if you will be able to keep them. (Deuteronomy 23:21) They may have consequences you haven’t thought about.

Pray, “Thy will be done.” Now ask God to help you mean it.

One More Year of Choices

By Barbara Dahlgren

Jesus came so we could have life, and have it more abundantly. (John 10:10) This is not referring to health and wealth. It’s telling us that Jesus came to give us eternal life, plus we have an even more abundant life while here on earth, because Jesus resides in us. We have a relationship with Him.

Unfortunately, there are factors wanting to hinder that relationship. The first part of John 10:10 says there is a thief who comes to kill, destroy, and steal. So there are thieves trying steal that relationship with Jesus from us. I think one of those thieves is false guilt.

I like to classify guilt into two categories: real guilt and false guilt.

For the Christian, real guilt comes from going against our conscience. We want our conscience in agreement with God’s standard. Then it can let us know when we’ve blown it or sinned. At these times, it is only natural to feel remorse for what we’ve done. Real guilt helps us acknowledge when we’ve done something wrong, but it doesn’t condemn us to a life-sentence of punishment, like Satan would have us believe. (John 3:17; Romans 8 1-2) We bring these mistakes before God and He forgives us. (Ephesians 1:7; Psalm 32:1-2) He remembers our sins no more. (Hebrews 8:14)

However, false guilt is different. False guilt comes from us not living up to our own standard of righteousness, not God’s. We might feel guilty because we ate fast food, don’t pray enough, don’t study our Bibles enough, aren’t involved at church, need to lose weight, don’t serve at the homeless shelter, or haven’t called our parents in a week. These feelings are painful, but it’s not real guilt, which is the result of not living up to God’s standards. It’s false guilt trying to masquerade itself as real guilt because these are our own self-imposed standards.

For example, let’s say we feel guilty because we don’t study our Bibles enough every day. How much time does God say we should spend on personal Bible study every day? Well, He doesn’t really say, does He? There are biblical principles to study God’s Word but God gives us the freedom to decide how often and how long. We might want to set a standard of so much Bible study a day, but we have to realize this is our standard, not God’s. So there should be no real guilt connected to it if we fall short of our own expectation. This would be false guilt because we haven’t done anything wrong.

Another example might be feeling guilty because we didn’t give enough in the offering plate last week. How much money does God say we should give as an offering each week? Well, He doesn’t really say, does He? The Old Testament had a specific tithing command but the New Testament does not. However, there is a biblical principle of giving to God and of generosity. However, we have the freedom to decide how much, to whom, and so on. We might want to give more than ten percent. We aren’t limited in what we do in this area. Actually the amount we give is not as important as how we give it anyway – from the heart. We have the freedom to decide how much.

The Old Covenant was all about lists of “do’s and don’ts.” The New Covenant is about Jesus living His resurrected life in us. We do not earn salvation; it is a free gift.

Consider this… The Bible tells us that problems occurred when Christians wanted to impose the Old Testament practice of circumcision on new Gentile converts. They tried to make the Gentiles feel like they weren’t Christians unless they got circumcised. Major guilt trip! Paul had to set them straight. (Galatians 5:2) Is circumcision wrong? Of course not! But it is not necessary for salvation.

In so many areas of our lives God gives us the freedom to decide, using biblical principles as guides – without condemnation. Someone else might try to put us on a guilt trip because we don’t want to teach Sunday School, serve on the PTA, or run in a marathon for cancer, but God does not. There is freedom in Christ. We can’t do everything, so God gave us the freedom to prayerfully decide what to do and what not to do, without feeling guilty.

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

There is a line between being guilty and feeling guilty. Beware of legalism, which is designed to make us feel guilty because we don’t measure up. Legalism invents rules that go way beyond what God intended.

Get over the “not doing enough” syndrome. We will never be able to “do enough!”

Be wary of spiritual teachers who always want you to earn your salvation by doing more, more, more.

Don’t try to motivate others by putting them on a guilt trip. You don’t like it when it’s done to you, so don’t do it to others.

The way to cope with true guilt is to admit your mistakes, say you’re sorry, try to make amends, repent, change, and move on. True guilt was not designed to hold us captive, just hold us accountable. Even when we try to make amends, others may not forgive us. We may have to learn to live with that. Fortunately, God does forgive.

One More Year of Choices

By Barbara Dahlgren 

When God encourages us to be giving instead of selfish, it may appear He is just looking out for the other guy. However, scientific research shows that when we give to others, our brain activity in the temporoparietal (easy for you to say???) junction and ventral striatum increases. These are the areas where our feelings of pleasure and happiness come from. Just a pledge to help others produces a warm glow of happiness and contentment. God is truly amazing. He puts systems in place that benefit both the giver and receiver. It’s a win/win scenario.

We don’t have to be brain surgeons (although it might help) to know that the way of give is better than the way of get. No wonder we are told to let nothing be done in selfishness. (Philippians 2:3) Selfishness is listed as one of the works of the flesh. (Galatians 5:20) It leads to unwise decisions. (Proverbs 18:1) It makes us pray those “give me, give me, give me” prayers, which do not bring good fruit. (James 4:3) Selfish people can be greedy, unthankful, proud, arrogant, and so on. (2 Timothy 3:2-5) Psychologists tell us that selfishness is a self-destructive habit. It can even lead to war. (James 4:1)

However, sometimes it’s difficult not to focus on ourselves. After all, it’s a me, me, me society. So selfishness is something we must battle against daily.

We can usually spot selfish people because most of what they say uses words like “I,” “me,” and “mine.” They don’t really have a spirit of humility. They aren’t interested in listening to someone else’s problems as much as promoting their own thoughts. When asked to help, they might think, “What’s in it for me?” They are more interested in being served than serving.

Consider this… Jesus came to serve, not to be served. (Matthew 20:28)

God says our focus should be on others. We aren’t to please ourselves as much as look out for the well-being of others. (Romans 15:1-3; 1 Corinthians 10:24) We are to help others bear their burdens. (Galatians 6:2) Yes, God tells us to look out for our own interests, but mostly He tells us to think about others. (Philippians 2:4)

So let’s keep that brain activity moving in the right direction. Who knew that happiness comes by giving, not getting? Hmm… What’s the answer? Oh yes… God knew! (Acts 20:35)

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

When feeling selfish (and we all do from time to time), ask God to change your attitude.

Ask God to give you a humble spirit that esteems others better than yourself, no matter what their rank in life. (Romans 12:3) Here’s a word of caution: Ask for a humble spirit. Don’t ask for God to humble you. There is a distinct difference.

Learn to be interested in others. Start by listening to them instead of preaching at them.

Think about the many ways to give. You can give of your time, money, service, talent, kindness, concern, encouragement, and so on. Just find a way to think about and help others.

Memorize Acts 20:35: “It’s more blessed to give than receive.” Now ask God to help you believe it!

One More Year of Choices

By Barbara Dahlgren

One definition of a miracle is an extraordinary event that brings a welcomed consequence. Years ago, before moving pictures, visual effects, and technology that constantly shocks the senses, people seemed to appreciate their surroundings more. They realized that life itself is a miracle. The whole universe is a miracle.

Perhaps these classic authors and poets were on to something…

Ralph Waldo Emerson: “The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miracle in the common.”

John Donne: “There is nothing that God hath established in a constant course of nature . . . but would seem a Miracle, and exercise our admiration, if it were done but once.” Donne was referring to things such as flowers blooming, the sun rising, or the stars appearing in the sky. Perhaps if we had seen an oak tree grow strong and tall from one little acorn in fast motion, before our very eyes, we might consider it a miracle.

Walt Whitman: “To me every hour of the light and dark is a miracle. Every cubic inch of space is a miracle. . .”

Here’s another from one of the smartest men in the world…

Albert Einstein: “There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is.”

Sometimes we are so busy looking somewhere else for a miracle, we can’t see the ones before our very eyes. Jesus told the disciples, “Do you have eyes but fail to see…?” The same might apply to us. That was certainly the case with those who were looking for Christ to come. Since they were looking for a Messiah descending from heaven with a flaming sword of righteousness, they did not recognize the Christ child in the manger as their Savior. They missed what was right before their eyes.

How much do we miss every day? Can we see God in ordinary, everyday miracles? Miracles like…

• Finding your lost car keys without having to spend all day looking for them.
• Losing your Visa card with absolutely no idea of where it might be when Target unexpectedly calls to say you left it there.
• Receiving an unexpected note of appreciation for no reason at all – just because you are YOU!
• The grocery line being short when you are in a hurry.
• Singing your lungs out because your favorite oldies song came on the radio.
• Answering the phone to hear your son from college saying he just called to say, “I love you,” and doesn’t even ask for money.
• All the lights being green on your way to work.
• Enjoying the shade of an oak tree and realizing it grew from one little acorn.
• A healthy child being born.

Consider this… If we don’t recognize and appreciate the ordinary miracles in our everyday lives, it’s likely we won’t recognize the bigger ones when they come our way. We’ll think it’s a visual effect.

Suggestions for practicing this choice…

Think about the wisdom in this story: When a teacher asked her class to list the Seven Wonders of the World, one child wrote: to see, to hear, to touch, to taste, to feel, to laugh, and to love.

When you see a beautiful rainbow, think: “What a miracle!”

When you hear a laughing child, think, “What a miracle!”

When you taste a delicious meal prepared by loving hands, think: “What a miracle!”

When you smell fragrant roses, think: “What a miracle!” Get the idea????