Barbara's Banter

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

Those living the abundant life have an attitude of gratitude. They know that developing the art of appreciation can actually change their lives for the better.  

Many spend time striving for things they think will bring them happiness and miss the joy of the journey. Happiness is not something we postpone until we get the new car, fancy house, flat screen TV, or big promotion. If we aren’t happy before we get them, chances are we won’t be happy after we get them. Happiness comes from being grateful for what we have.

Oprah Winfrey says, “The single greatest thing you can do to change your life today would be to start being grateful for what you have right now.”

Scientific studies actually show there are benefits from being thankful. A University of California long-term study on gratitude found that being grateful promotes good health, contributes to becoming successful, aids better sleep patterns, and just overall makes one more generous and helpful to others.

In researching for his book, Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier, Robert Emmons and colleague Michael McCollough conducted studies on gratitude and its impact on lives. Three groups were asked to keep daily diaries. The first group wrote about the experiences they had throughout the day without being instructed to emphasize whether they were good or bad. The second group recorded only unpleasant experiences. The third group kept a gratitude journal. The results showed that the people who wrote down what they were grateful for had higher alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism, and energy. Plus, they had less depression and stress. 

So the world has come to know what the Bible told us all along: “It is good to give thanks unto the Lord…” (Psalm 92:1) 1 Thessalonians goes so far as to say, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances…” Can we find something to be thankful for even in dire circumstances?  We don’t need to be thankful for a major trial, but we can be thankful that God is always with us. It could even be an opportunity to grow in a deeper relationship with Him. 

Instead of listing all the things we don’t have, try giving thanks for what we do have. Do we have any of the following: a job, food, shelter, clothes, friends, and family? Today, did we behold sunshine, flowers, a smile from someone, a child’s laughter, or find a good parking space? The abundant life will not take these things for granted. The abundant life will give thanks!

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

Those living the abundant life believe in the old adage that necessity is the mother of invention. However, they go one step further and realize that it can also be a time of reinvention. This ability to reinvent is a key element for those desiring to live an abundant life. To reinvent can mean to adapt, modify, alter, redesign, refocus, adjust, and transform.

Let’s say you work all your life at a company you love. They downsize or reorganize. Suddenly you are out of a job. No one even said, “Thank you for 40 years of faithful service.” You don’t even get the gold watch! Administrations change and the new one—the younger one does not even acknowledge who you are or what you’ve done for the company before they let you go or force you to retire.

Sure, you might want to have a little pity-party, but then you have to decide what to do with the rest of your life. This is a time to think about reinventing yourself which means refreshing or starting over again with a new perspective. Reinventing doesn’t mean doing everything the way you’ve always done it. It may require some change. Your core values remain the same, but updating your outlook and modus operandi might be necessary in an ever-changing world.

Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever but we live in society that requires us to constantly reinvent the way we do things because it is rapidly changing all the time. Sometimes change is forced upon us which is not necessarily bad. Not all jobs or even ministries are meant to last forever. They are temporary. Life is temporary. That doesn’t mean God is not in control. He just might not be controlling events the way we would like.

Sometimes life can be so burdensome that it’s hard not to get discouraged, but God tells us not to lose heart. Things may not appear to be going well, but when we rely on God we can be renewed inwardly, day by day. (2 Corinthians 4:16) Renew means to make new again. God can help us reinvent ourselves so we can be productive Christians representing Him as we move forward to what He has planned.   

The abundant life relies on God to get them through life changes and come out on the other side ready to go on. They’ve developed skills like resilience and self-care. They aren’t afraid to seek counseling and get support. The abundant life knows how to reinvent itself.

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

Those living the abundant life know that the past is to learn from, not to live in. Those living in the past are continually lamenting what might have been. They are stuck in a “would have, should have, could have” syndrome, constantly thinking if only, if only, if only…

Everyone’s life is full of missed opportunities, some unwise decisions, and regret. These things cannot be changed. It is foolish to be held captive by things we can do nothing about. Living in the past immobilizes us. It keeps us from enjoying the present and prevents us from moving into the future. Christian lives should not be held in suspended animation. Paul says to forget what is behind. (Philippians 3:13-14) We need to concentrate on our daily walk with God—today—NOW!

We need to live in the NOW, not in the past. We are NOW freed from sin. (Romans 6:22) There is NOW no condemnation for us because we are in Christ. (Romans 8:1) NOW we are no longer tied to the law, but to Jesus Christ. (Romans 7:6) The old things have passed away and we are NOW a new creation. (2 Corinthians 5:17) We are NOW the children of God. (1 John 3:2) In the past we were full of darkness, but NOW we are a light to the world. (Ephesians 5:8)

The Greek word for “now” is “nun,” which means at this time and henceforth into the future. So appreciating what we have NOW carries over into our future. We don’t know what we will be like in the future, but it has to be even better than NOW, because we will be more fully like God. (1 John 3:1-3)

Abundant lives understand what they NOW have in Jesus Christ. The past is past. Those living the abundant life will focus on what God’s plan is for their lives NOW!

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

Those living the abundant life do not defend poor choices by passing the buck.

Passing the buck is an expression that has nothing to do with the American dollar. It actually means to shift the responsibility or blame somewhere else. This expression dates back to frontier times in the mid-1800s. In poker games, a piece of buckshot or a knife with a buckhorn handle was passed around to remind players that they were the next dealer.

I was reminded of this phrase when watching the recent Oppenheimer movie which is about designing and dropping the bomb on Japan which ended World War II. This happened when Harry S. Truman was president. Truman kept a plaque with that phrase on his desk in the oval Office. He felt the president had to make certain decisions and take responsibility for them. Oppenheimer may have made the bomb, but Truman made the decision to drop it. The buck stopped with him.  

We live in a society that is very adept at passing the buck! No one wants to accept responsibility for bad choices. If a person smokes and gets cancer, it’s the tobacco industry’s fault. If a person shoots someone, it’s the gun manufacturer’s fault. If a person drives drunk, it’s the bartender’s fault. If a child misbehaves, it’s the music industry’s fault.  Should the tobacco industry, gun manufacturers, bartenders, music industry, and others act more responsibly?  Yes!  Are they to blame for the choices we make?  No!

This “blaming others for our actions” mentality influences almost every aspect of our lives. We want to blame our “lot in life” on our parents, our neighborhood, the times we live in, our lack of good fortune or fate. Yet many born into poverty have risen above it and many with health problems have accomplished much. Oprah Winfrey, Sam Walton, Andrew Carnegie, Abraham Lincoln, Franklin Roosevelt, and Helen Keller are just a few that come to mind. While it’s true that environment and heredity can limit our choices in life, they can’t determine what kind of person we choose to be. Our actions determine that.    

This proclivity to blame others is not new. It’s been going on since the time of Adam and Eve. In Genesis 3, we see that when God asked Adam why he disobeyed by eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, Adam blamed Eve. Then Eve blamed the serpent. Adam went so far as to say to God, “It’s the woman, YOU gave me!”  Now it was God’s fault. Everyone wanted to blame somebody else and we’ve been blaming others for what we do ever since.

Those living the abundant life know that blaming others or blaming circumstances never improves a situation.  If anything, it only makes it worse. They don’t try to pass the buck. They know the buck stops with them. 

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

Some may seem successful, but really aren’t living the abundant life if they haven’t learned to take responsibility, not make excuses, and admit mistakes.  

General George Patton was a stubborn, obstinate leader. He was nicknamed “Old Blood and Guts” and many say he was the greatest combat general of World War II. However, he could never admit being wrong about anything.

One story says that Patton accepted an invitation to dine at a press camp in Africa during World War 2. Wine was served in canteen cups. Patton thought it was coffee, so he poured cream into his cup. As he stirred in sugar, Patton was told that his cup contained red wine and not coffee. General Patton could not admit making a mistake, so without hesitation he drank it and replied, “I know. I like my wine this way.”

Everyone makes mistakes. Some are just plain dumb; some are thoughtless; some are complicated; some are really bad decisions. However, one thing is inevitable. We all make mistakes. (Proverbs 24:16) 

It’s hard to admit when we are wrong because we are very concerned about what others might think. We want to make excuses. We want to justify what we’ve done. We want to blame others or even God. Yet the benefits far outweigh our discomfort when we have the courage to admit we’ve made a mistake. For one thing, the wine tastes much better!

It’s always risky to be open and honest about our mistakes because we feel others will think less of us. This might be true to a certain degree, but most will come along side us, want us to succeed, and appreciate the courage it took to say, “I was wrong. I made a mistake.” These words can actually break down barriers and draw us closer to others. 

Proverbs 28:13 says that those who try to hide their mistakes can’t really succeed in that endeavor. Not only do they forfeit peace of mind, they are always in fear someone will find out. That’s a valid fear because someone will inevitably find out. However, if we admit our mistakes and make a commitment to change, we get a second chance.

Those living the abundant life know that making mistakes is not quite as bad as not learning from them because then they are destined to repeat them again and again.

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life realizes that life is unpredictable. It’s filled with inconveniences, difficulties, and frustrations. For want of a better word—life is messy.

For those of us who love routine, order, and organization, life’s messiness can take a toll. It’s a bitter lesson to learn that no matter how hard we try to control things, life isn’t neat and tidy.

Unfortunately, a lot of people aren’t neat and tidy either. Unfortunately, they can be in our families. Unfortunately, they can be our co-workers. Unfortunately, they can be our boss. Unfortunately, they are all around us.

Here’s the truth. Life is unpredictable. Life is just one inconvenience after another. Major tragedies and minor frustrations will always abound. Disorganized people will always tend to disrupt those who aren’t. Dealing with life’s troubles can be stressful, time consuming, overwhelming, and uncomfortable.

However, those living the abundant life realize that God is not as concerned about our comfort as He is about how we deal with our discomfort. We are always going to have some unexpected mess to deal with. When we overreact and let things irritate or upset us to the point where we are angry or irrational, we cannot reflect God’s love.

Reflecting God’s love is important because our lives are not our own. We belong to Jesus. We were bought with a price. (1 Corinthians 6:20) Since our lives belong to Jesus, He will always meet us in the midst of the mess. All God’s children have to deal with messes, but Jesus is always with them. He was with Joseph when he was sold into slavery by his brothers. He was with Job when he was stricken with boils. He was with Nehemiah when he was rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem. He was with Gideon when he was facing battle. He was with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the fiery furnace.    

The key to their survival was looking to God, not their situations. That’s the key to our sanity and peace of mind as well. When we don’t look to God/Jesus/Holy Spirit, the images of what we experience get distorted and blurry. Jesus gives us the flexibility we need to live with the messes as they come along. There’s an old saying that rings true: Blessed are the flexible for they shall not get bent out of shape.

The abundant life knows that God is greater than our circumstances. Messes come and go but Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

Those living the abundant life know how to acknowledge and appreciate others.

Those who focus only on work and not relationships can easily become disconnected from those who are most important to them. It starts by not prioritizing a relationship with God, then segues into other parts of our lives. Loved ones and special friends are neglected. The kindness of others is overlooked. Words like “thank you” or “I’m sorry” are almost like foreign concepts. It becomes easy to forget about smiling at others or even acknowledging their existence.

Acknowledge means taking the time to let others know you see them. They exist. They matter. People like to be acknowledged. They want to feel their existence makes a difference in the lives of others—even casual acquaintances. People like to be appreciated and feel like their efforts have been noticed.

The apostle Paul set a great example of being appreciative and acknowledging others. In a letter to the Romans, Paul takes the time to openly thank those who held a special place in his heart. He spends the whole last chapter acknowledging others so they would know their lives made a difference. (Romans 16:1-16) This is not just a list of names. Paul took the time to mention why these people were special to him.

Phoebe had been a help to many people including Him. Priscilla and Aquila risked their lives for him. Andronicus and Junia were in prison with him. Not only was he appreciative of what they had done for him, but for what they had done for the church. 

Epaenetus, Urband, Stachys, Apelles, and many others mentioned were fellow workers approved by Christ. And Paul was not above giving praise to women during an historical time when women were more to be seen than heard. Mary, Persius, Tryphena, Tryphosa, and so on—all worked hard for the Lord.  

I’m sure each one Paul mentioned felt appreciated. These were not idle words of false praise, but rather heart-felt recognitions that made people feel accepted and valued. Such acknowledgements bear good fruit.

People don’t want to be overlooked. Just a smile, a cheerful greeting, a word of thanks, or eye contact shows respect. These simple acknowledgements can lift spirits. Maya Angelou once said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you make them feel.”

God acknowledges us. We matter to Him. While we were sinners He died for us. (Romans 5:8) He wants each of us to feel valued and appreciated. God admonishes us to do the same for others. (1 Thessalonians 5:12) 

Those living the abundant life value others. They appreciate not only loved ones, but bosses, co-workers, and acquaintances. They realize that everyone they meet is a child of God.

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

Those living the abundant life strive to be better, not become bitter.

When we think we’ve been wronged or treated unfairly, we can become resentful, which is defined as bitter indignation. The Bible has nothing good to say about being bitter and resentful. In fact, it says be careful not to let a root of bitterness spring up and cause trouble. (Hebrews 12:15) If it does spring up, we are instructed to put it away. (Ephesians 4:31)

Here’s one way it can start. We get deeply hurt. We feel injured or offended. We justify these feelings. We think we have a right to feel this way. Then the people who did these awful things to us do not react the way we think they should. They don’t apologize. They don’t grovel. They may even ignore us. We say things to ourselves like, “If only they would acknowledge what they did to me, I could let go of this bitterness.” But they don’t acknowledge it. Maybe they don’t even care!

So we decide to turn it over to God. After all, God tells us not to take revenge, because vengeance is His. (Romans 12:19) We’ll leave their punishment in God’s hands. They better watch out because now they are going to really get it. But what happens? God doesn’t punish them the way we think He should. They may even prosper. Maybe God won’t punish them at all. We feel like God has really botched this, because we want them to suffer the way they made us suffer.

What are we supposed to do for those no good, lousy rats who wrong us? Well…we are supposed to do the right thing, even when they don’t. God says not to repay evil with evil. (Romans 12:17) We are to pray for our enemies. We are to bless our enemies. (Matthew 5:44) We are to forgive our enemies, even when they don’t ask for forgiveness or acknowledge what they’ve done. Forgiveness does not mean letting others continue to hurt us. It just means we surrender our right to get even or retaliate.

We are to let go of bitterness and resentment because no good can come from it. It breeds anger and discontent, which will not enhance our spiritual growth or journey. Resentful and bitter feelings do not hurt the other guy as much as they hurt us. Nelson Mandela put it this way: “Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemies.”

Those living the abundant life have learned not to nurse a grudge, because it will only get bitter, not better. And it’s far better to trust God to handle it in His time and in His way! 

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

Those living the abundant life keep their word. “A man is as good as his word” is an old expression. It means a person is reliable and truthful.

Keeping one’s word is a rare quality today. It’s almost unheard of among politicians. It’s becoming a lost art form among regular folks as well. Sadly, we have come to expect and accept this. Cicero told us the tragedy of not keeping your word is that eventually “a liar is not believed even though he tells the truth.” It’s a real breath of fresh air today when you meet someone who actually keeps his word.

Thirty-five years we lived in Appalachia and wanted to purchase a little land so we could build a house. Farmer Brown had some acreage that caught our eye. When we met he told us he had a special affection for this particular parcel of land because he wanted to give it to his son to build on. Then he quoted us some astronomically low amount.

He said he liked us. We were a nice, young couple with two small children and he wanted to help us. We quickly agreed to his price and said we would have a contract drawn up immediately. He found this insulting. He said if we needed a contract the deal was off. His handshake should be a good enough bond for us. We trusted him and shook on it. He was refreshing, honest, and true to his word.

That was many years ago and I’m not sure we would have that kind of confidence in a man’s word today—even in Appalachia. There has been too much media exposure on ways to lie, cheat, and steal and even more glorification of those who do. Politicians, CEOs, salesmen, and almost everyone you meet are adept at twisting words to get what they want. If a “man is as good as his word” there are not that many good men left.

The Bible speaks of a good name being better than precious ointment and more valuable than riches. (Ecclesiastes 7:1; Proverbs 22:1) Putting confidence in those who are not true to their word can be painful. (Proverbs 25:19) As Christians, others should be able to count on what we say. They should be able to rely on us to be there when we say we’ll be there. Or at the very least, receive a call to let them know why we didn’t make it.

To some, keeping our word may seem like a little thing. However, when we break our word we show a lack of respect, fracture a trust, and erode credibility. Assuredly, these are not little things in the eyes of God.

Those living the abundant life strive to be as good as their word. They know that God keeps His word with us, and God wants us to keep our word with others. 

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life does not repay evil for evil.

We live in an angry world. Frustrations cause people to lash out. They curse, belittle, and hurl insults. Sometimes those toxic tantrums come our way. How should we react?

The Bible clearly instructs us not to return evil for evil. (Romans 12:17; 1 Thessalonians 5:15; 1 Peter 3:9) If this concept was only mentioned one time, we could pass it off as a misprint or misinterpreted scripture. However, it is stated too many times to ignore. Even the Old Testament which has a more eye for an eye approach says not to mistreat those who mistreat you. (Proverbs 24:29) It also tells us to ignore insults. (Proverbs 12:16)

These are not easy principles to implement. They go against the grain of natural human response. When someone does us wrong, we would all like to have an Uncle Vinny whisper in our ear in a Godfather-type accent, “Hey…don’t worry about it. I can take him out.” He wouldn’t be referring to dinner or the ballgame. But alas, that only works in movies and although there may be immediate gratification, the results are usually disastrous.

Repaying evil for evil hurts both parties. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Perhaps that’s a little cliché, but it’s still true. So what should we do?

The answer is found in Matthew 5:43-45. God tells us to love our enemies, do good to those that hate us, and pray for them. We pray, pray, pray. We turn the whole situation over to God. No need to take matters into our own hands. God can handle it.

We are children of God. He loves us. We can pour out our hurt feelings of being falsely accused, misjudged, misunderstood, misrepresented, belittled, or maligned. He can judge the whole situation and merit out a righteous response. Only God has the power to make every wrong right and the crooked straight. (Luke 3:4-6) Our faith and trust must rely on Him.   

Most of us want revenge. We want to see people suffer the way they made us suffer, but that may not be God’s answer to the problem. However, do not think God takes your situation lightly. No deed goes unnoticed by God. He will take care of any retribution needed because He clearly states, “Vengeance is mine. I will repay.” (Romans 12:10)

They say that revenge is sweet. That’s true only when it’s left in God’s hands. Because only He can do what is best for everyone. 

Those living the abundant life do not return evil for evil. They know that it’s their job to pray and God’s job to repay.  

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)