Barbara's Banter

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

Some may seem successful, but really aren’t living the abundant life if they haven’t learned to take responsibility, not make excuses, and admit mistakes.  

General George Patton was a stubborn, obstinate leader. He was nicknamed “Old Blood and Guts” and many say he was the greatest combat general of World War II. However, he could never admit being wrong about anything.

One story says that Patton accepted an invitation to dine at a press camp in Africa during World War 2. Wine was served in canteen cups. Patton thought it was coffee, so he poured cream into his cup. As he stirred in sugar, Patton was told that his cup contained red wine and not coffee. General Patton could not admit making a mistake, so without hesitation he drank it and replied, “I know. I like my wine this way.”

Everyone makes mistakes. Some are just plain dumb; some are thoughtless; some are complicated; some are really bad decisions. However, one thing is inevitable. We all make mistakes. (Proverbs 24:16) 

It’s hard to admit when we are wrong because we are very concerned about what others might think. We want to make excuses. We want to justify what we’ve done. We want to blame others or even God. Yet the benefits far outweigh our discomfort when we have the courage to admit we’ve made a mistake. For one thing, the wine tastes much better!

It’s always risky to be open and honest about our mistakes because we feel others will think less of us. This might be true to a certain degree, but most will come along side us, want us to succeed, and appreciate the courage it took to say, “I was wrong. I made a mistake.” These words can actually break down barriers and draw us closer to others. 

Proverbs 28:13 says that those who try to hide their mistakes can’t really succeed in that endeavor. Not only do they forfeit peace of mind, they are always in fear someone will find out. That’s a valid fear because someone will inevitably find out. However, if we admit our mistakes and make a commitment to change, we get a second chance.

Those living the abundant life know that making mistakes is not quite as bad as not learning from them because then they are destined to repeat them again and again.

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life realizes that life is unpredictable. It’s filled with inconveniences, difficulties, and frustrations. For want of a better word—life is messy.

For those of us who love routine, order, and organization, life’s messiness can take a toll. It’s a bitter lesson to learn that no matter how hard we try to control things, life isn’t neat and tidy.

Unfortunately, a lot of people aren’t neat and tidy either. Unfortunately, they can be in our families. Unfortunately, they can be our co-workers. Unfortunately, they can be our boss. Unfortunately, they are all around us.

Here’s the truth. Life is unpredictable. Life is just one inconvenience after another. Major tragedies and minor frustrations will always abound. Disorganized people will always tend to disrupt those who aren’t. Dealing with life’s troubles can be stressful, time consuming, overwhelming, and uncomfortable.

However, those living the abundant life realize that God is not as concerned about our comfort as He is about how we deal with our discomfort. We are always going to have some unexpected mess to deal with. When we overreact and let things irritate or upset us to the point where we are angry or irrational, we cannot reflect God’s love.

Reflecting God’s love is important because our lives are not our own. We belong to Jesus. We were bought with a price. (1 Corinthians 6:20) Since our lives belong to Jesus, He will always meet us in the midst of the mess. All God’s children have to deal with messes, but Jesus is always with them. He was with Joseph when he was sold into slavery by his brothers. He was with Job when he was stricken with boils. He was with Nehemiah when he was rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem. He was with Gideon when he was facing battle. He was with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the fiery furnace.    

The key to their survival was looking to God, not their situations. That’s the key to our sanity and peace of mind as well. When we don’t look to God/Jesus/Holy Spirit, the images of what we experience get distorted and blurry. Jesus gives us the flexibility we need to live with the messes as they come along. There’s an old saying that rings true: Blessed are the flexible for they shall not get bent out of shape.

The abundant life knows that God is greater than our circumstances. Messes come and go but Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

Those living the abundant life know how to acknowledge and appreciate others.

Those who focus only on work and not relationships can easily become disconnected from those who are most important to them. It starts by not prioritizing a relationship with God, then segues into other parts of our lives. Loved ones and special friends are neglected. The kindness of others is overlooked. Words like “thank you” or “I’m sorry” are almost like foreign concepts. It becomes easy to forget about smiling at others or even acknowledging their existence.

Acknowledge means taking the time to let others know you see them. They exist. They matter. People like to be acknowledged. They want to feel their existence makes a difference in the lives of others—even casual acquaintances. People like to be appreciated and feel like their efforts have been noticed.

The apostle Paul set a great example of being appreciative and acknowledging others. In a letter to the Romans, Paul takes the time to openly thank those who held a special place in his heart. He spends the whole last chapter acknowledging others so they would know their lives made a difference. (Romans 16:1-16) This is not just a list of names. Paul took the time to mention why these people were special to him.

Phoebe had been a help to many people including Him. Priscilla and Aquila risked their lives for him. Andronicus and Junia were in prison with him. Not only was he appreciative of what they had done for him, but for what they had done for the church. 

Epaenetus, Urband, Stachys, Apelles, and many others mentioned were fellow workers approved by Christ. And Paul was not above giving praise to women during an historical time when women were more to be seen than heard. Mary, Persius, Tryphena, Tryphosa, and so on—all worked hard for the Lord.  

I’m sure each one Paul mentioned felt appreciated. These were not idle words of false praise, but rather heart-felt recognitions that made people feel accepted and valued. Such acknowledgements bear good fruit.

People don’t want to be overlooked. Just a smile, a cheerful greeting, a word of thanks, or eye contact shows respect. These simple acknowledgements can lift spirits. Maya Angelou once said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you make them feel.”

God acknowledges us. We matter to Him. While we were sinners He died for us. (Romans 5:8) He wants each of us to feel valued and appreciated. God admonishes us to do the same for others. (1 Thessalonians 5:12) 

Those living the abundant life value others. They appreciate not only loved ones, but bosses, co-workers, and acquaintances. They realize that everyone they meet is a child of God.

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

Those living the abundant life strive to be better, not become bitter.

When we think we’ve been wronged or treated unfairly, we can become resentful, which is defined as bitter indignation. The Bible has nothing good to say about being bitter and resentful. In fact, it says be careful not to let a root of bitterness spring up and cause trouble. (Hebrews 12:15) If it does spring up, we are instructed to put it away. (Ephesians 4:31)

Here’s one way it can start. We get deeply hurt. We feel injured or offended. We justify these feelings. We think we have a right to feel this way. Then the people who did these awful things to us do not react the way we think they should. They don’t apologize. They don’t grovel. They may even ignore us. We say things to ourselves like, “If only they would acknowledge what they did to me, I could let go of this bitterness.” But they don’t acknowledge it. Maybe they don’t even care!

So we decide to turn it over to God. After all, God tells us not to take revenge, because vengeance is His. (Romans 12:19) We’ll leave their punishment in God’s hands. They better watch out because now they are going to really get it. But what happens? God doesn’t punish them the way we think He should. They may even prosper. Maybe God won’t punish them at all. We feel like God has really botched this, because we want them to suffer the way they made us suffer.

What are we supposed to do for those no good, lousy rats who wrong us? Well…we are supposed to do the right thing, even when they don’t. God says not to repay evil with evil. (Romans 12:17) We are to pray for our enemies. We are to bless our enemies. (Matthew 5:44) We are to forgive our enemies, even when they don’t ask for forgiveness or acknowledge what they’ve done. Forgiveness does not mean letting others continue to hurt us. It just means we surrender our right to get even or retaliate.

We are to let go of bitterness and resentment because no good can come from it. It breeds anger and discontent, which will not enhance our spiritual growth or journey. Resentful and bitter feelings do not hurt the other guy as much as they hurt us. Nelson Mandela put it this way: “Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping it will kill your enemies.”

Those living the abundant life have learned not to nurse a grudge, because it will only get bitter, not better. And it’s far better to trust God to handle it in His time and in His way! 

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

Those living the abundant life keep their word. “A man is as good as his word” is an old expression. It means a person is reliable and truthful.

Keeping one’s word is a rare quality today. It’s almost unheard of among politicians. It’s becoming a lost art form among regular folks as well. Sadly, we have come to expect and accept this. Cicero told us the tragedy of not keeping your word is that eventually “a liar is not believed even though he tells the truth.” It’s a real breath of fresh air today when you meet someone who actually keeps his word.

Thirty-five years we lived in Appalachia and wanted to purchase a little land so we could build a house. Farmer Brown had some acreage that caught our eye. When we met he told us he had a special affection for this particular parcel of land because he wanted to give it to his son to build on. Then he quoted us some astronomically low amount.

He said he liked us. We were a nice, young couple with two small children and he wanted to help us. We quickly agreed to his price and said we would have a contract drawn up immediately. He found this insulting. He said if we needed a contract the deal was off. His handshake should be a good enough bond for us. We trusted him and shook on it. He was refreshing, honest, and true to his word.

That was many years ago and I’m not sure we would have that kind of confidence in a man’s word today—even in Appalachia. There has been too much media exposure on ways to lie, cheat, and steal and even more glorification of those who do. Politicians, CEOs, salesmen, and almost everyone you meet are adept at twisting words to get what they want. If a “man is as good as his word” there are not that many good men left.

The Bible speaks of a good name being better than precious ointment and more valuable than riches. (Ecclesiastes 7:1; Proverbs 22:1) Putting confidence in those who are not true to their word can be painful. (Proverbs 25:19) As Christians, others should be able to count on what we say. They should be able to rely on us to be there when we say we’ll be there. Or at the very least, receive a call to let them know why we didn’t make it.

To some, keeping our word may seem like a little thing. However, when we break our word we show a lack of respect, fracture a trust, and erode credibility. Assuredly, these are not little things in the eyes of God.

Those living the abundant life strive to be as good as their word. They know that God keeps His word with us, and God wants us to keep our word with others. 

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life does not repay evil for evil.

We live in an angry world. Frustrations cause people to lash out. They curse, belittle, and hurl insults. Sometimes those toxic tantrums come our way. How should we react?

The Bible clearly instructs us not to return evil for evil. (Romans 12:17; 1 Thessalonians 5:15; 1 Peter 3:9) If this concept was only mentioned one time, we could pass it off as a misprint or misinterpreted scripture. However, it is stated too many times to ignore. Even the Old Testament which has a more eye for an eye approach says not to mistreat those who mistreat you. (Proverbs 24:29) It also tells us to ignore insults. (Proverbs 12:16)

These are not easy principles to implement. They go against the grain of natural human response. When someone does us wrong, we would all like to have an Uncle Vinny whisper in our ear in a Godfather-type accent, “Hey…don’t worry about it. I can take him out.” He wouldn’t be referring to dinner or the ballgame. But alas, that only works in movies and although there may be immediate gratification, the results are usually disastrous.

Repaying evil for evil hurts both parties. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Perhaps that’s a little cliché, but it’s still true. So what should we do?

The answer is found in Matthew 5:43-45. God tells us to love our enemies, do good to those that hate us, and pray for them. We pray, pray, pray. We turn the whole situation over to God. No need to take matters into our own hands. God can handle it.

We are children of God. He loves us. We can pour out our hurt feelings of being falsely accused, misjudged, misunderstood, misrepresented, belittled, or maligned. He can judge the whole situation and merit out a righteous response. Only God has the power to make every wrong right and the crooked straight. (Luke 3:4-6) Our faith and trust must rely on Him.   

Most of us want revenge. We want to see people suffer the way they made us suffer, but that may not be God’s answer to the problem. However, do not think God takes your situation lightly. No deed goes unnoticed by God. He will take care of any retribution needed because He clearly states, “Vengeance is mine. I will repay.” (Romans 12:10)

They say that revenge is sweet. That’s true only when it’s left in God’s hands. Because only He can do what is best for everyone. 

Those living the abundant life do not return evil for evil. They know that it’s their job to pray and God’s job to repay.  

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

Those living abundant life don’t waste time wishing they were someone else.

Oscar Wilde once said, “Be yourself! Everyone else is taken.” All in all, that’s pretty good advice.

If we are totally honest, most of us would probably prefer to be someone else or at least like someone else. We want to be taller, shorter, thinner, quieter, more outgoing, younger, older, wittier, smarter, more organized, athletic, and so on. However, God created us all to be ourselves! There are over seven billion people in the world and no two have the same finger print, voice vibration, or DNA. It’s really quite phenomenal when you think about it. So we are all different whether we want to be or not.

There will always be someone better looking, more popular, and thinner than us. Guess what? That’s okay. From a spiritual perspective there will always be someone who appears to be praying, studying, and serving more. That’s okay, too. Appearances don’t tell the whole story. The Pharisees outwardly looked righteous but their hearts were far from God. God knows the intent of our hearts.

Perhaps that’s why the Bible continually tells us not to compare ourselves with others. (Galatians 6:4) Each of us has a unique personality. Each of us has different talents or abilities to be used for God’s glory and purpose. (1 Corinthians 12:4) Maybe we need to stop wishing to be someone else and want to be who God created us to be.

People wanting to make changes should do it for the right reason—to be a better person. Focusing on our assets and embracing certain limitations can be helpful. We are not all meant to do or accomplish the same things. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. (1 Corinthians 12:5-31) If we could all do the same things we would not need to work together.

Many think they have nothing to offer others. Most of us think if we aren’t pretending to be something we’re not then no one will like us. Well God likes us. God even loves us. When Jesus told His followers they were the salt of the earth and a light of the world He was talking to everyday people—mostly the poor, uneducated, lower echelon of society at that time. These were not the religious leaders. Yet Jesus was giving them a sense of self-worth and letting them know their lives mattered. They all had something to offer. (Matthew 5) And so do we, especially since we have Jesus Christ living in us!

Those living the abundant life don’t waste time trying to be who they aren’t. They choose to be the best version of themselves. After all, finger prints and DNA show us that everyone else is literally taken!

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

Those living the abundant life appreciate the beauty around them.

The first time I went to Italy I noticed that even the sparsest table would have a tiny vase with a fresh flower in it. Small balconies of apartment complexes held potted plants or containers with vibrant blossoms. I was struck by how the poorest life seemed to be uplifted by a little beauty. It was then I decided to be a little more attuned to the beauty around me.

One definition of beauty is the quality or a combination of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit. This kind of beauty has a positive effect on how we feel, think, and react. Beauty can bring pleasure and delight, and even at times rest. People are inspired by a melodic tune, a touching poem, a majestic view, a babbling brook, or falling snow. These are beautiful things. God placed within us a desire to appreciate beauty because it draws us closer to Him. 

Children are adept at noticing the wonders of Creation. When adults see a dandelion patch they might think of weeds, but a child envisions flowers for Mom. They delight in making a wish and blowing all the white fluff off so their dreams will come true. Children easily look beyond someone’s appearance. When adults notice an old beggar who smiles at them, they identify him as a smelly, dirty person who wants money. Kids see someone smiling at them and they smile back. They see a person, not a beggar. Is it any wonder Jesus told us to become like little children? (Matthew 18:2-4)  

Actually, life is full of beauty from beginning to end. Life can be likened to an exquisite sunrise in the morning that ends with an enchanting sunset at the end of the day. And all the days in between hold God’s provisions of beauty in many forms found in nature, art, music, laughter, and love. It is beautiful when new life is celebrated and a passing one is remembered.    

God tells us He has made everything beautiful in His own time. (Ecclesiastes 3:11) The Psalms are full of descriptions declaring the beauty of the Lord which exists in nature, in the mountains, in His temple, in heaven, and so many other places. God is beautiful. (Psalm 27:4) The very act of serving Jesus is a beautiful thing. (Mark 14:6) A repentant life, a changed heart, and a yielded spirit are all beautiful.   

Helen Keller said, “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen…They must be felt with the heart.” What great perception —especially from a blind woman!  

Those living abundant lives appreciate genuine beauty. They know it can’t be bought, but it can be experienced—and that’s what they do!

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life recognizes true beauty in others.  

Beauty is subjective. Different people have various ideas about what they consider beautiful. Unfortunately, most of us have been bombarded with digitally enhanced images through television, movies, and magazines. We have been subliminally programmed to buy into the media’s idea of beauty which is based solely on airbrushed appearances. This is bound to have an effect on how we think.   

If we try to set a guy friend up on a blind date, the first thing he might ask is, “What does she look like?” We might say, “She’s nice, intelligent, well groomed, has a sense of humor, and just won the Nobel Peace Prize,” but he would probably still say, “Sure, but what does she look like?” This is understandable to a certain degree because there is such a thing as physical attraction. However, those who never look for more than this are doomed for disappointment because physical beauty is really only skin-deep.

Although difficult, we need to think of beauty the same way God does. Nowhere do we see God using outward appearance to determine someone’s beauty. In fact, He cautions us against using such criteria for judging another’s worth. When God’s prophet Samuel was looking for the next king of Israel among the sons of Jesse, he thought he’d found the right one. Eliab must have been a tall, handsome hunk—what everyone thought a king should look like. So much so that when Samuel gazed on Eliab’s “hunkiness” he said, “Surely the Lord’s anointed stands here before the Lord.” (1 Samuel 16:6)

That was a wrong assumption because God had other ideas. God said, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him.” (1 Samuel 16:7) In other words, it didn’t matter if Eliab was one the 50 hunkiest men in the world and looked like he should be a king. God was looking for something else which he finally found in Eliab’s kid brother David—a lowly shepherd.

God went on to say, “The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”

Perhaps we should start beholding beauty the same way God does. He’s not looking at a person’s shiny blonde hair, blemish free skin, slim hips, and new Prada shoes. He finds a heart full of the fruit of His Spirit more appealing. (Galatians 5:22-23) When we look for the beauty in others, let’s look for those qualities most important to God—things like love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Those living the abundant life know that charm can be deceitful and beauty is passing. (Proverbs 31:30) Fashions go out of style and external beauty fades, but godly character lasts forever. How beautiful!

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life knows the difference between happiness and joy.

Happiness and joy are not always synonymous. Many times happiness is conditional and dependent on what happens to us. Even the words are similar—happiness and happening. People are happy when things are going well. Life is overall good. There’s no immediate crisis. Our health is great. There’s enough money in the bank for the check to clear. We have food to eat, clothes to wear, and a roof over our head. Our kids are doing okay. No one is out to get us.   

But when those things start to change, we do not remain happy. If we have health problems, go through a divorce, deal with a leaky roof, lose a loved one, receive bad news, and so on, we are not happy. However, we could still have joy because joy runs much deeper than happiness. It transcends events and circumstances.

True joy comes from knowing God and having a relationship with Him. This gives our lives meaning and purpose. True joy is an attitude of the heart and spirit, present inside us. That’s why joy can share its space with other emotions such as sadness or shame, or even exist in the darkest and most difficult times. Hard times don’t have to take away our joy.

Maybe that’s why James 1:2 tells us to “count it all joy” when we have trials. It’s not telling us to laugh with glee when bad things happen. It’s telling us to look beyond circumstances. Learn what we can, do what we can, but realize this physical life is temporary. 

Hebrews 12:2 tells us that Jesus endured being crucified because of the joy set before Him. He could see beyond what was happening. Joy can exist in spite of what happens. All people having a relationship with Jesus Christ can have joy. Joy undergirds our spirit. Joy brings hope. Joy brings peace and contentment.

Joy and rejoicing must be very important to God because the word joy in some form or another appears more than 200 times in the Bible—and that does not include words like happy, celebrate, blessing, cheerful, and so on. Philippians 4:4 says, “Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I say, rejoice!” This exhortation is so important that Paul repeats it for emphasis.

The next verse tells us why. “The Lord is near.” (Philippians 4:5 NIV) We can rejoice because the Lord is near. He is with us during the good times and the bad times. There is joy, peace, and comfort in knowing Jesus is always with us. We may not know what is going on but He does. He will never leave or forsake us. He walks with us every step of the way. He will help us make it through. Joy helps us look beyond the current situation.

Those living the abundant life know that joy is like an inner smile. When we are ecstatic, it bubbles out and becomes a huge grin. When we are sad, it’s a tiny expression filled with peace and calm. But it’s always there—regardless of our circumstances.  

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)