Gossip: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

The old television show Hee-Haw had a humorous segment with four women called the Gossip Girls singing something like this…

“Now, we’re not ones to go ’round spreadin’ rumors,
Why, really we’re just not the gossipy kind,
No, you’ll never hear one of us repeating gossip,
So you’d better be sure and listen close the first time!”

Pretty funny, huh?

Gossip can have many sides. In fact some gossip can be good, some bad, and some ugly.

Good Gossip
Is there such a thing as good gossip? Actually gossip has several meanings. One is to exchange light, trivial chitchat. It’s a sort of mutual sharing of information. “Mary used a new hair coloring.” “John got a new car.” “Julie had a baby.” It’s usually common knowledge that one wouldn’t mind sharing with others. This kind of socialization helps us learn to relate to others and can be bonding.

Bad Gossip
However, a second meaning is to spread rumors, usually of a sensitive or intimate nature. Don’t we just love being privy to some juicy, personal tidbit about someone else? It doesn’t even matter if it’s true or not. People may not start out telling half truths but by the time they tell their closest friends who tell their closest friends who tell their closest friends, the truth can get pretty distorted, but we believe it anyway. As the saying goes, “Some people will believe anything if it’s whispered to them.”

This type of gossip can be harmful and hurtful. Bad gossip is when you have to abruptly stop a conversation when the person being talked about comes into the room. When you are afraid to say it to a person’s face, it can’t be good to repeat.

Ugly Gossip
Ugly gossip deliberately tries to damage a person’s reputation, which goes beyond sharing something you’ve heard. These are lies designed to cause pain and grief. With the Internet, they are all too easy to spread. Unfortunately, when people see things in print, they believe it even more than something whispered in the ear.

This type of gossip can seem quite impersonal, unless you are the target of such maliciousness. School bullies are using this technique on kids they don’t like, resulting in many young people committing suicide. They even have a term for it called “bullycide.”

No wonder the Bible says, “A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends (Proverbs 16:28 – NLT)” and “What dainty morsels rumors are—but they sink deep into one’s heart (Proverbs 18:8 – NLT).”

 A friend shared this acronym with me and I try to “think” about it when I speak of others.     

  • T – True – Is it true?
  • H – Helpful – Is it helpful?
  • I – Inspiring – Is it inspiring?
  • N – Necessary – Is it necessary?
  • K – Kind – Is it kind? 

Since someone shared it with me and I’m sharing it with you, let’s just say this is some good gossip you can share with anyone who tries to share bad gossip with you – to keep rumors from getting ugly.  

 

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