Choices change our lives…
By Barbara Dahlgren
A “Savior Complex” in psychological terms refers to people who feel the need to save others. Some who enter into professions requiring them to care for others can sometimes think they are a person’s savior. Also, there are certain personalities who gravitate to those they think need saving – those with addictions or behavioral problems. In their desperation to want to help, sometimes they become part of the problem, not the solution.
People with a “Savior Complex” might make sacrifices thinking it is the noble thing to do. Their needs may go unmet because they feel they are laying down their lives for another. To go a step further, some think they are better than most because of the suffering they endure for others.
While their motives may be pure, sometimes their actions are not beneficial to all concerned.
Caregivers who refuse to take a break thinking, only they can attend to the needs of a loved one, soon find themselves burned out. Those who think they are helping someone with an addiction or destructive behavior by never letting them take responsibility for their actions become part of the problem, not the solution.
In the Christian world, we sometimes call this same condition a “Messiah Complex.” Some in ministry think it’s their job to save people. In their quest to become all things to all people, they end up trying to please everyone which, as we all know, is impossible. They spread themselves thin by never delegating and thinking only they can handle a particular situation. Needy people can take advantage of this. They become dependent on us, take up enormous amounts of time, and sap our energy.
If we allow one or two people to drain all our time and energy, then we have nothing left to give others or ourselves. It is not our job to solve everyone’s problems. On the other hand, we shouldn’t minimize someone’s situation. What may seem like a minor problem to us may feel enormous to them. We can still care about them as they learn to solve their own problems. And our ultimate job is to point them to the One who loves them unconditionally and can actually help them solve problems – Jesus Christ. We are not the Messiah. Jesus is!
Consider this… Only Jesus can heal! Only Jesus can redeem! Only Jesus can save! We need to let Jesus be the Savior and the Messiah!
One final thought… If we keep getting in the way, Jesus never has a chance to do His thing!
