Yet Another Year of Choices
By Barbara Dahlgren
Evonne and I have been friends since the second grade and believe me, that’s a long time. Even as kids, we had an uncanny ability to know what the other one was thinking and laugh, laugh, laugh. We’ve shared the good times and the bad, but through it all we’ve always felt God’s presence and guiding hand in our lives. We do not see eye to eye on every minor theological tenet, but our belief in God has cemented our relationship and strengthened our bond.
Sadly, friendships like ours are becoming a thing of the past. Our society touts hundreds of friends on Facebook. We can now have more friends on Facebook than we’ve actually met in real life. However, sociologists at Cornell University have found most Americans have fewer close confidants now than they did a generation ago. While people appear to be just as social as ever, friendships are shallower leaving us to go through tough times alone.
Medical researchers have found that those who have close friends tend to be happier, healthier, and live longer than those who don’t. Having friends has numerous physical and spiritual benefits. According to the Mayo Clinic, in addition to preventing loneliness and giving companionship, friends can…
- Increase your sense of purpose
- Help the body’s autoimmune system resist disease
- Help you cope with trauma such as divorce, illness, death, job loss
- Promote brain health
Overall, medical and psychological studies prove that people who have one or more close friends are in better health than those who have only casual friends or no friends at all. In fact, studies say that maintaining positive relationships should rank up there with healthy eating and exercise as a necessary investment in your health.
In order to have friends, we need to learn how to be a good friend. Here is what the Bible says about real friends…
- Proverbs 17:17: They love at all times. They know us, accept our weaknesses and imperfections, but love us anyway.
- Proverbs 27:17: They give us a different perspective like “iron sharpening iron.” This also indicates a certain respect friends have for each other because iron cannot sharpen iron unless opinions are respected even though not agreed upon.
- Proverbs 27:9: They give wise counsel in a tactful way.
- Proverbs 27:5, 6: Even if a friend has to tell us something we don’t want to hear, it’s better because we know we can trust them.
- Proverbs 18:24: Friends are with you through thick and thin – sometimes closer than family.
- Ecclesiastes 4:8-12: Friends lift you up and strengthen you. It passage says, “Two are better than one because if one falls down the other one helps him up.” Friends form a bond that is not easily broken.
Of course our best friend is Jesus. He accepts us unconditionally. He loves us when we are unlovable. He wants to spend time with us. He’ll never leave or forsake us. He wants only the best for us. He rejoices with us when we accomplish something. He comforts us when we are weary. He picks us up when we fall. He stays with us when we are frightened. He cries with us when we are sad. He laughs with us when we are happy.
Consider this… God created us to be relational. The Father, Son, and Spirit are relational and invite us into that relationship with them and others.
Those of us who are blessed with a few close friends can be very thankful. Those who aren’t might want to increase contact with other believers so friendships can develop.
Charles Spurgeon put it this way: “Some Christians try to go to heaven alone, in solitude. But believers are not compared to bears or lions or other animals that wander alone. Those who belong to Christ are sheep in this respect; they love to get together. Sheep go in flocks, and so do God’s people.”
One final thought…
True friends aren’t the ones who make your problems disappear. They are the ones who don’t disappear when you have problems.
