Another Year of Choices
By Barbara Dahlgren
You can tell a lot about people when they are inconvenienced. And let’s face it… life is just one inconvenience after another. Most of us want to be patient. We really do. We pray, “Lord, give me patience…and give it to me NOW!” But patience is an attribute of God’s spirit that is developed, not given instantly. So God allows us to be inconvenienced to give us opportunities to practice patience.
Unfortunately society has programmed us to expect instant gratification. We want what we want and we want it NOW! And we can pretty much get it. We have microwaves, calculators, Jiffy-Lubes, ATMs and fast food. We have digital cameras, cell phones, Kindles, and Internet.
But what happens when Jiffy-Lube has a long line of people ahead of you, the cell phone gets stolen, the computer crashes, research goes missing in Cyber space, a virus eats all email contacts, and the system keeps you “on hold” for over an hour? Inconvenience! We don’t like to be inconvenienced.
Then we have to deal with people – crazy drivers, surly co-workers, demanding bosses, incompetent clerks, oblivious individuals with thirty things in the twelve item checkout lane and clueless cashiers who let them get away with it.
Even loved ones can get on our nerves like… a fussy baby. Those wah, wah, wahs mean feed me, change me, love me. Little children love to ask questions. Why is the sky blue? Why is the grass green? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Elderly parents and grandparents tend to moooovvvee sooooo slowly. And wouldn’t life be easier if all our friends and spouses agreed with everything we say???
But… who said life was supposed to be easy? Certainly not God! If life was easy we wouldn’t need to develop patience.
Patience doesn’t just mean waiting until something passes or happens. Patience takes on many forms: restraint, acceptance, steadfastness, endurance, self-control, tolerance, calmness, compassion, understanding, or ability to cope – qualities worth having. Whereas impatience produces frustration, discontent, anger, agitation, resentment, anxiousness, reckless behavior, and unkind words.
The Bible exhorts us to be patient because patient people have great understanding (Proverbs 14:29), have a calming effect (Proverbs 15:18), are gentle and kind (2 Timothy 2:24), have a positive influence (Proverbs 25:15), love others (Galatians 5:14-15), and forgive (Colossians 3:12-14). Patient people persevere (James 5:7-11) and wait on the Lord (Isaiah 40:31).
Maybe this is why James tells us to let patience have her perfect work. (James 1:4)
Consider this… God is patient with us. He’s patient with our likes and dislikes, our ups and downs, our foibles and idiosyncrasies. He meets us where we are. We can count on God to fulfill all His promises to us, but it will be with His timing, not ours. He is more interested in our spiritual growth than giving us everything we want when we want it. (2 Peter 3:9)
Here’s the point… We need to practice patience because we are not going to get everything we want when we want it – in life or with God.
A Chinese proverb says: One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life. That gives us a little something to think about the next time we are inconvenienced.
Suggestions for practicing this choice…
- It’s an imperfect, inconvenient world. When you are inconvenienced say this to yourself: “The world is not perfect. People are not perfect. I am not perfect.” Keep repeating it until you believe it.
- Start our earlier so you don’t have to rush. When unforeseen delays happen, don’t fret or get angry. It will not make the situation better and will only make you feel worse. Plan ahead what you will do if you are delayed. Have your Kindle or a little inspirational book tucked away for such occasions. Use the time to pray. Listen to soothing music.
- Don’t let situations or people control how you feel or react. Give up the desire to control others. You can’t control or change others. Give control to God. God probably won’t do things the way you would like, but rest assured – it will be far better than what you would do.
- Cultivate constructive behavior. Pray for those that irritate you. Instead of complaining about a long wait, thank God for something. Instead of clenching your fist or your middle finger at discourteous drivers, ask God to help them be nicer.
- Have patience with yourself. St. Francis de Sales said, “Have patience in all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself.” When you make mistakes, learn from them and move on.
