Our society equates love with an emotional roller coaster ride or a feeling that we can’t live without a certain person. Some think love is all about sex. Although sex can be a part of true love those who equate love with sex are usually lusting not loving. There is a difference. Love is not always about two people falling helplessly and hopelessly into an uncontrollable rage of passion. Just ask anyone who’s been married for any significant length of time and they will tell you love goes way beyond physical attraction. Listen to this song by Clint Black, Love Is Something You Do. It’s not sex that truly binds people together or there wouldn’t be so many one night stands; it’s love.
Love is something we do. In fact, love is a bunch of stuff we choose to do because love is a choice.
Love is a big thing to God. He refers to it throughout the Bible. 1 Corinthians 13 goes into great detail explaining what real love is all about. Here we learn some things we do or don’t do if we really want to love someone: be patient, be kind, be truthful, be hopeful, don’t envy, don’t boast, don’t be rude, don’t be prideful, don’t be self-seeking, don’t get angry, and so on.
This kind of love can be between spouses (Ephesians 5:25) but these scriptures can also be used as a gauge to loving our neighbors (Mark 12:31), loving our families (Ephesians 5:25), loving one another (John 13:34,), and even loving our enemies (Matthew 5:43).
Unfortunately, it’s not easy to love enemies, our neighbors, our families or even our spouses because they are all people – and people are so unlovable. I’m not referring to criminals and those who perform unspeakable atrocities. I’m talking about those we may be close to and have contact with every day. They can irritate and frustrate us to distraction.
For example, some people are just angry at life and will take it out on us. Some focus on the 1% flaw instead of the 99% good. Some insist their way is the only way to do something. Some value their opinion above anyone else’s. Some can’t accept that we understand their position from every angle and still don’t agree. Some set up their standard of righteousness for everyone. Some gossip and say things that are untrue about us. Some think they know more than anyone else about a subject. Some poke their noses in our business and give us unwanted advice. Some are rude and thoughtless. Some take the credit while we do the work. Some condemn others for what things they are prone to do themselves. Some will make a joke at our expense. Some never apologize. Some never say, “Thank you!” Some pretend to be our friends, but talk behind our backs. Some make us feel unvalued, unappreciated, and unwanted. And these are just our friends! I don’t have room to describe our enemies.
Guess what? God tells us to love these people anyway – not because they deserve to be loved, but because they need to be loved. In fact, we all need to be loved and most of us are unlovable at times.
Consider this… Loving people doesn’t mean never getting irritated or frustrated with them. Loving people doesn’t mean always condoning what they do or agreeing with what they say. Loving people doesn’t mean we shield them from the consequences of their decisions. Loving people doesn’t mean we turn a blind eye to their faults. Rather, loving people means we deal with them in a kind, patient, respectful, honest, and humble way. (1 Corinthians 13) We can love the person but not necessarily their actions.
Actually, that’s how God loves us. He knows what we’ve done and loves us anyway. He separates the person from the action. He can hate the action but love the person. He never says what we’ve done is okay when it’s not. However, he never forces his will on us. He deals with us in a loving manner. And He knows what love is all about because HE IS LOVE! (1 John 4:8)
Suggestions for practicing this choice…
- Strive to separate people from their actions.
- Deal with people in a loving way.
- Try to be kind to others.
- Try to be patient with others.
- Try not to get angry with others.
