We greet people by saying, “Happy New Year,” but most of us are not happy. So we ring in the New Year with a long list of resolutions. We are determined to be better and do better. We want to improve ourselves, have more money, lose weight, or enhance our relationships. While well intended, resolutions do not really bring us happiness. In fact, sometimes they tend to make us feel dissatisfied and inadequate. What a way to “ring-a-ding-ding” in the New Year! As if we didn’t get enough of that from a media blitz barraging us with subliminal messages telling us we’re unhappy losers. After all, the successful people are thin, good looking, rich, smart, witty, drive fancy cars, eat in expensive restaurants, vacation in exotic places, and use the right toothpaste.
Why not take a different approach this year? Look back at the past year with gratitude. Maybe you didn’t get your dream job, but maybe you still have a job. Maybe you didn’t get a bigger house, but maybe you still have a house. Maybe your son dropped out of college and is living at home, but maybe he has a job and is paying you rent. Maybe your girlfriend broke up with you, but maybe she didn’t really love you. Maybe you had a major trial in your life, but maybe you developed a deeper relationship with God in the process.
Most of us spend time striving for things we think will bring us happiness and miss the joy of the journey. Happiness is not something we postpone until we get the new car, fancy house, flat screen TV, man of our dreams, and the big promotion. If we aren’t happy before we get them, chances are we won’t be happy after we get them.
Happiness comes from being grateful for what we have. Studies actually show being appreciative improves our lives.
In researching for his book, Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier, Robert Emmons and colleague Michael McCollough conducted studies on gratitude and its impact on lives. Three groups were asked to keep daily diaries. The first group wrote about the experiences they had throughout the day without being instructed to emphasize whether they were good or bad. The second group recorded only unpleasant experiences. The third group kept a gratitude journal. The results showed that the people who wrote down what they were grateful for had higher alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism, and energy. They had less depression and stress.
Unfortunately, we take for granted the good things that happen in our lives instead of really appreciating them. That’s too bad, because developing this art of appreciation can change our lives for the better.
Here’s an idea for the New Year… Why not resolve to write down just one thing each day that we are grateful for? Just ONE thing each day! Do not repeat. At the end of 2014 we could read them. Just think of it – 365 things we are grateful and thankful for. What a great way to end one year and start another! Who knows? Maybe next year when we say, “Happy New Year,” we could actually mean it!!!
