Barbara's Banter

We live in the age of information. Unfortunately information does not improve one’s communication skills. Companies are not just interested in what someone knows anymore. They want someone with the ability to communicate it to others. IBM employs technical writers to take complicated info and rewrite it so it doesn’t insult the intelligence of the highly educated yet can be understood by the common man. This is no small feat.

To complicate communication, people have a tendency to speak with “hidden” meanings. Here are a few examples:

     What was said: “That’s interesting!”
     What was meant: “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve heard today!”

     What was said: “Would I lie to you?”
     What was meant: “I would lie through my teeth if it suited my purpose.”

     What was said: “Let’s get together for lunch.”
     What was meant: “This is the only way I’m going to get rid of this guy.”

     What was said: “Tell me the truth.”
     What was meant: “Whatever you do, DON’T tell me the truth!”

     What was said: “It really doesn’t matter.”
     What was meant: “I’m terribly hurt but no one cares anyway.”

     What was said: “It depends…”
     What was meant: “NO!”

     What was said: “We’ll see…”
     What was meant: “NO!”

     What was said: “I know how you feel.”
     What was meant: “…but I really don’t care.”

     What was said: “Trust me!”
     What was meant: “I’m going to take you for all you are worth.”

     What was said: “What an outfit!”
     What was meant: “Ugggggglllllly!

     What was said: “You can count on me!”
     What was meant: “I won’t show up but this should get you off my back.”

     What was said: “I was only kidding!”
     What was meant: “I meant every word I said.”

     What was said: “I won’t tell a soul!”
     What was meant: “…until I can get to a telephone.”

And then we have the world of advertisement…

     What is written: Fat free…
     What is meant: … no fat, but lots and lots of sugar.

     What is written: Fixer upper…
     What is meant: The building was condemned.

     What is written: Quaint…
     What is meant: It’s very, very old and moldy.

     What is written: According to statistical analysis…
     What is meant: Rumor has it.

     What is written: Going Out of Business Sale…
     What is meant:  I’ve been going out of business for 50 years.

     What is written: Room with a view…
     What is meant: Every room has a view. Some like looking at brick walls.

     What is written: One of a kind…
     What is meant: Who would want two of them?

Many times we read into the Bible what isn’t really there because we think it has a “hidden” meaning. I’m not too sure about that. Jesus is pretty straightforward in what he teaches and gives a great deal of insight in how to live. It isn’t until man tries to put in “hidden” meanings that it tends to get complicated. So why not read the teachings of Jesus and learn how to live.

     What I said: “Read the teachings of Jesus and learn how to live!”
     What I meant: “Read the teachings of Jesus and learn how to live!”

In the Christian community when we hear the word witness we think of one who stands before people and testifies about what God has done in their lives. Many might say, “I can’t do that” and feel shy about verbally sharing Christ with others. This is indeed one way to witness, but the truth is that if we are Christians we are daily witnessing to others by how we live our lives.

It is said that the reason people come to Christ is because they have known a Christian. By the same token the reason many have not come to Christ is because they, too, have known a “Christian.” Christians are witnessing whether they want to or not.

Acts 1:8 “…you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, and all of Judea and Samaria and to the ends of the earth.” This scripture actually has a double meaning. It’s true that it can refer to taking the gospel around the world. But those to whom Christ was speaking lived in Judea and Samaria so they were witnessing right where they lived. So where ever we are, where ever we live, or where ever we go we are witnessing to those around us about Christ. What kind of witnesses are we?

The image some may have of a Christian is one who is kind, caring, joy-filled, and authentic – someone who may fall short but strives to follow Christ. Another image could be of one who is dull, lifeless, easily angered, obnoxious and intolerant – full of pomp and circumstance with no substance. Which would be the better witness?

Even those who seek to appear to serve God can fall short. The example of the Pharisee in Luke 18:9-14 comes to mind. He thought he was really going above and beyond because even though the law said he only had to fast once a year on the Day of Atonement, he fasted twice a week. He gave tithes of all he possessed, but did he have a relationship with God? It’s this on-going relationship with God that keeps us Christ centered and authentic.

Or what about Christians who serve diligently at church, but neglect their families? Or Christians who go to church each week just to pacify their need for religion? Some Christians are like Jekyll and Hydes, acting one way at church and another during the week. Unfortunately the main ones their lives should be witnessing to are the ones they meet during the week, not on Sunday.

What about Christians who want to put on an outward show by wearing crosses around their necks, putting fish emblems on their cars, and carrying Prayer of Jabez key rings? Of course there is nothing wrong with any of these things if the motive is right – love for God. The other extreme might be Christians who don’t want to have any outward show of Christianity and take pride in the fact that they’ve led a Christian life but never pointed anyone to Christ. All miss the mark.

To be a sincere witness for Christ, we Christians should examine ourselves to be sure we are in the faith. (2 Corinthians 13:5) The word of God should dwell in us and whatever we do “…in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” (Colossians 3:16-17)

God wants a daily relationship with us. After all, we are his children. Christians are children of the living God. What we do doesn’t determine who we are. Who we are as children of God should determine what we do. In other words, how we live our lives is our witness.

Balance is a part of our daily lives. We want to eat a balanced diet, send our kids to schools with a balanced curriculum, and balance our check books. Balance holds us steady and allows us to cope with life. It keeps us healthy and happy.

Without balance we tend to go to extremes leading to terrible results. If we eat, eat, eat too many carbs, we get fat. If we work, work, work without rest, we get sick. If we spend, spend, spend without thought, we go bankrupt.

Unfortunately we all have a tendency to be unbalanced. We think if a little of something is good then a lot must be better. That is not always true. Prescription drugs, medicinal herbs, or even trace elements might be helpful in moderation but too much could lead to illness or even death.

Just as there should be balance in our physical lives, there should be balance in our Christian lives as well. Zealous Christians don’t always understand this and have difficulty seeing the bigger picture.

This was an area of growth for Peter. Peter didn’t want Christ to wash his feet until Christ explained, “If I do not wash you, you have no part with me.” Then Peter said, “Wash not only my feet but my hands and head, too.” (John 13:6-11) Peter also told Christ he would never deny Him, but he did. (Matthew 26:35, 69-75) Christ knew Peter didn’t fully understand. Peter tended to be a bit of an extremist…and so do we.

After Peter grew in grace and knowledge, his statements became more balanced.

Unbalanced Christians go to extremes and miss the mark. For example some devote their lives to diligent theological study and can debate doctrine with the most learned. However, they neglect to have an intimate, personal relationship with Jesus and can’t apply scriptures to their daily lives. Others do just the opposite. They think all they need to do is pray, but they don’t study the Bible so they are swayed by every new idea that comes along. (Ephesians 4:14) They don’t know what they stand for.

Balance does not mean compromising beliefs or being unsure of your faith, nor does it mean shoving these things down someone’s throat with clever arguments. Balanced Christians know how to combine Bible study with a Christ centered relationship so they can live life to the fullest. They know the Christian life isn’t an either/or scenario. They realize you need intellect and emotion, head and heart, form and freedom, etc.

Leading a balanced Christian life is important. After all, we as Christians should guard against being weighed in the balances and found wanting. (Daniel 5:25-28)

The heart is at the core of our physical existence.  We can live without a foot, leg, arm, hand, gall bladder, ear, eye, or even brain function, but without a heart – we die.

The heart is also central in reference to emotions, illustrated by these idioms.  When we eat our hearts out, we are envious.  Our heart breaks when we are sad.  We lose our hearts when we fall in love.  We follow our hearts when we are happy.  From the bottom of the heart means sincerity.  The cold hearted are unforgiving.  When we pour out our hearts we are telling others how we feel.         

God talks a lot about the emotional heart from a spiritual perspective.  At times it can be difficult to know and rule our hearts.  We are emotional beings who can easily be led astray by our feelings.  That’s why God says the heart can be deceitful and wicked. (Jeremiah 17:9)

God knows our hearts better than we know ourselves. (Hebrews 4:12, Matthew 9:4)  We can pretend we feel a certain way but eventually our hearts reveal our true attitudes.  A good heart will bring about good for others.  An evil heart will bring about bad for others.  The truth will always come out.  Our words eventually belie our true intentions.  (Luke 6:45)  We will put time, money, and effort into where our heart is.  (Matthew 6:21)

Evil thoughts start in the heart.  It is here the thought process can lead us to be prideful, foolish, envious, stubborn, rebellious, and lustful.  (Mark 20-23, Hebrews 3:8)  However, it is also in the heart where we can have love, hope, compassion, and forgiveness. (Romans 5:5, Matthew 18:35) 

A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy can rot the bones.  (Proverbs 14:30)  A cheerful heart is as good as medicine to heal, but a crushed spirit brings us down.  How we feel guides what we do.  That’s why God says to guard our hearts.  Our hearts determine how we live our lives. 

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” 

(Proverbs 4:23, NIV)

How does one guard a heart?  Proverbs 23:7 says we become what we think about in our hearts.  So it might benefit us to dwell on the positive aspects of life, not the negative. 

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”   

(Philippians 4:8)

Sometimes we use the phrase “to get to the heart of an issue.”  That’s what God would like to do with us.  Get into our very hearts and live His life within us.  God wants to be a part of our lives.  When we seek Him with our hearts desiring a relationship with Him, He readily makes Himself available. (Deuteronomy 4:29)  With God in our lives, our hearts are much easier to guard.       

From a worldly point of view those who live in the present deny themselves nothing.  They play today and pay tomorrow.  Immediate gratification is what they seek. 

However, from a spiritual perspective we live in the present by being open to God’s presence in our lives on a daily basis.  We seek a closer relationship with Him every day.  We do not let the past drag us down or the worries of the future hinder our daily walk with God. 

This daily walk with God is vital, but how we walk with Him may even be more important.

Let’s use the analogy of taking a nature walk.  Some wander aimlessly down a trail unaware of surroundings.  If they were asked what they saw they might not even remember.  Others notice the chirping bluebird, the laughing child, the leaves changing color, a fish jumping in a pond, or a vibrant sunset and realize it all has something to do with God.  That’s living in the present!  It’s being aware and alert to God’s presence all around us. 

When we pray we don’t just say give me what I want or heal my pain.  We ask for God’s will to be revealed to us.  We ask Him to make us attuned to his heart so His desires are our desires.  We pray many times during the day.  (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)  We pray big prayers and lots of little prayers – little prayers of praise, thanks, and requests for immediate help to bring a thought or action back to where God would want it to be.   

When we study we don’t just read a few scriptures.  (Acts 17:11) We think about how those scriptures can be applied in our lives.  The Bible is a living book.  We may have read the same passage a hundred times and never fully understood it, but as we read we can ask God to help us understand it more fully.  We can ask Him to write a scripture on our hearts so it can come to mind when we most need it throughout a day.   

We meditate all day long about God’s Word, biblical principles, and how Christ would handle situations. (Psalm 1:2, Joshua 1:8) We guard our thoughts so we are thinking the best of others.  We think about how we can serve others.  We think about what God wants us to do more than what we want God to do.  We dwell on God’s goodness, mercy, love and grace.

And we do this every day, as much as we can, all day long.  When we wake up tomorrow we do it again because God’s mercies and love for us are brand new every day.  (Lamentations 3:22-23)  There is something new to be learned about God each and every day.     

Let’s face it, the past is gone and God holds our future.  However, building a relationship with the one who holds our future depends on us living – not just going through the motions – but consciously living for Him in the present.          

So many people live in the past and constantly lament what might have been.  They spend all their time focusing on things they can do nothing about. 

They obsess over things like…if only I had married the geek I thought was a loser in college who became a millionaire.  If only I had taken that job with the start-up company I thought would go nowhere but went sky high.  If only I hadn’t gotten pregnant at sixteen.  If only I had finished college instead of dropping out.  If only I hadn’t gotten drunk and had a tattoo of a naked lady put on my arm.  If only, if only, if only…  

Everyone’s life is full of missed opportunities, some unwise decisions, and regret.  These things cannot be changed.  It is better to accept and learn from them and move on.  Yet many seem held captive by things they can do nothing about. 

Others put their lives on hold waiting for the future.  Yes, we look toward the future but we live today.  God lives in the present.  His name is “I am” not “I was” or “I will be” or “I might have been.”  This walk with God is a day by day journey and we miss much when we don’t focus on what God has in mind for us today. 

God doesn’t supply tomorrow’s needs today.  The Israelites found that out when they tried to store up manna for another day. (Exodus 16)  There is nothing wrong in planning for the future but God supplies our needs on a daily basis.  We pray “give us today our daily bread.”  Matthew 6:30-34 tells us not to worry about tomorrow.  God’s got that covered. 

However, we learn where our focus should be in verse 33.  “But seek first the kingdom of God…”  You see, our job is to build a relationship with God on a daily basis.  Seek Him day by day.  We need to concentrate on what God is doing with us today.  That’s our priority – and we can’t do it when we are constantly lamenting the past or waiting for the future. 

Hate is a strong word.  Some things just irritate me.  I try not to blur the line between the two.  However, I’ve decided that I hate chain letters.  Yes, hate is the right word.  I don’t just mildly dislike them.  I hate them!!!!

It’s been over forty years since I received my first chain letter in the mail and they have kept coming in one form or another ever since.    

Chain letters promise everything from riches to good luck to “whatever.”  Just follow the directions – send a dollar, send a postcard, send a recipe, send good wishes, send “whatever” to the first person on the list, copy the letter and send it to 10 of your friends.  Then in short time $50,000 or 50,000 postcards or 50,000 recipes or 50,000 “whatevers” will be yours. 

It doesn’t matter that the claims being made are mathematically impossible.  Who wouldn’t like to be a millionaire overnight?  We like to believe these things will happen, so we pass it on.  Or we fear the dreaded bad luck we are told we will experience if we break the chain and don’t pass it on.   

Forty years ago chain letters took a real commitment of time and money.  You had to literally write out ten copies of the letter, place them in envelopes, address and stamp, then mail them out.   Being basically a lazy person, I could never bring myself to do all that.  So I would either toss them and wait for my bad luck, or write back to the sender saying, “I would rather make one enemy than ten, so I’m returning your chain letter.”  This did not set too well with my sister-in-law, but she got over it. 

No one gets chain letters via snail mail anymore but they abound in email inboxes.  “Pass it on” has become a red flag that magnetically pulls my finger to the delete button.   

Some chain letters want you to help Disney, Applebees, or Nike test an email tracking program.  If you forward the message on to others you could receive $1000, a trip to Disney World, a dinner for two, or a new pair of shoes for your trouble.  Believe it or not, companies just don’t use chain letters to give away money or products.

I especially like the emails that say, “I did not make this up!”  I’m so thankful.  Yet, some bozo with a great deal of time on his hands did. 

Altruistic chain letters are sent for the benefit of others.  You are not sending money so you won’t receive anything, but you need to pass the message on to help the Make-a-Wish Foundation fulfill the dream of a dying child.  Never mind that this foundation has stated repeatedly it doesn’t operate this way.   

Or perhaps some child has a school project where you add your first name to a list to see how many people have the same name.  The sender knows you will “pass it on” because you are so nice. 

Well guess what?  I’m not all that nice and most of my real friends know it!

A new form of chain letter wants you to pass around prayers, I love you notes, poems, and tidbits about Jesus.  I received a lovely message from someone who said he was passing it on to me because I was one of the five most dynamic women he’d ever known.  I noticed he copied 50 people – men and women – which made me feel real special. 

I especially hate chain letters accompanied by guilt trips like the following which I actually received:

•  “If you believe in God and in Jesus Christ His Son …send this to all on your buddy list … if not just ignore it.  If you ignore it, just remember that Jesus said, ‘If you deny me before man, I will deny you before my Father in Heaven.’…”
• “Just in case I haven’t told you lately… I LOVE You!!!  Please pass some of this love on to others….suppose one morning you were called to God; do all your friends know you love them?”
• “If you are too busy to witness, to pass on this email about Jesus, then God’s too busy to write your name in the Book of Life…”

Well, folks, I agree that God is busy.  He’s far too busy doing other stuff than to blot my name out of the Book of Life because I didn’t pass along an email message.  If you are so inclined, feel free to send that to 100 of your very closest friends.  If you get it back then you will know they truly are your friends.  If not, count your blessings!   

Oxymora fascinate and confuse me.  (In case you didn’t know, “oxymora” is the plural for oxymoron.  A little fact I learned when my computer complained when I typed oxymorons.  You learn something new every day, but I digress.)  As I was saying, oxymora fascinate and confuse me.  An oxymoron is a figure of speech that combines contradictory terms.  Here are a few we use all the time…

• Jumbo shrimp
• Sweet sorrow
• Pretty ugly
• Deliberately thoughtless
• Working vacation
• Authentic reproduction
• Local long distance
• Fresh frozen
• Current history
• Freezer burn
• Absolutely unsure
• Definite maybe
• A new classic
• Awfully good
• Easy labor
• Good lawyer
• Tequila flavored rum

Okay, maybe there are some good lawyers, but they told me my labor was easy when I gave child birth and believe me, they were mistaken.  Some of us might not use tequila flavored rum all the time, but some of us do.   Oxymora just all seem so illogical. 

Some things in the Bible seem illogical too.  Here are a few…

• Cast your bread on the water and it will come back to you. (Ecclesiastes 11:1)
• The first will be last and the last will be first.  (Matthew 20:16)
• When I am weak, I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:10)
• There can be joy in trials. (James 1:2)
• Whoever humbles himself will be exalted. (Luke 14:11)
• To get you must give. (Luke 6:38)
• You must be born again.  (John 3:1-7)
• We win we lose. (Philippians 3:7-11)
• He who finds his life will lose it. (Matthew 10:39)
• To save your life, you must lose it. (Matthew 16:24, 25)

Now some may think these things are not possible, yet they are.  That shouldn’t be so hard to understand in a world where people know what you’re saying when use expressions like the living dead, fuzzy logic, liquid gas, seriously funny, and good grief!

Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr. was an American author, poet, doctor, and teacher of the 1800s.  Ever since I read his clever poem the Deacon’s Masterpiece about a one-hoss shay in high school I have been drawn to his work.  So many quotes are attributed to him and here is one of my favorites…   

 “Alas for those that never sing, but die with all their music in them!”

I’ve always wondered what he meant when he wrote that.  Is it that we allow the shattered hopes, disillusionments, unfulfilled expectations, hurts, rejections, and broken promises of life to beat us down so much that the “music” that lies within us will never be played?  Or is it that the “music” lays within us because we are too timid to sing?   

I’ve always thought it was referring to fear.  Maybe we are just afraid to step out and do something.  We are afraid of what others will think.  We are afraid we will make a mistake.  We are afraid we will be hurt.  In many ways we can be our own worst enemy.  We talk ourselves out of happiness, success, relationships, and usually what we fear or anticipate is far worse than what actually happens.

Here’s an example.  A few years ago I had a tooth pulled.  It was what they call a “dry socket” which has a very painful healing process.  Now I’m deathly afraid of dentists.  It took every bit of courage I had to just go get the tooth pulled.  So when the dentist said, “If this gives you any pain, come back to me and I’ll take care of it for you,” I thought, “Yeah, right!”  I conjured up visions of Steve Martin as the sadistic dentist in Little Shop of Horrors. 

The first couple of days I had excruciating pain.  I called and got a prescription for some high-powered painkillers but even they didn’t do the trick.  About the fourth day I became “painfully” aware that I would have to go back to “Steve” for some relief. 

I tentatively came in and told him my problem.  He put me in “the chair,” looked me over, smiled wryly, and said, “I’ll fix you right up.” Then he took a piece of gauze, dipped it in a solution, tucked it in the cavern where my tooth once was, and presto, change-o, NO PAIN.  So for four days I had suffered unnecessarily because of what I feared would be done to me.  

I wonder if people fear pursuing a relationship with Jesus Christ for the same reasons.  They fear they are unworthy.  Well, yes – we are all unworthy but that shouldn’t hold us back.  After all, that’s why we need Jesus in our lives.  People fear Christ will force them to make changes in their lives – changes they don’t want to make.  Actually, Christ’s way isn’t generally one of forcing.  If we come closer to Him, we may choose to make changes, but those are our choices.  He pretty much loves us just the way we are.  (John 3:16, 17)  He loves us with all our problems, unworthiness, and imperfections.    

Whatever our heart’s desire is, we shouldn’t let fear hold us back.  Fear robs us of what could be.  We all have some kind of music in us.  Music is a metaphor for our hopes and dreams.  But unless we overcome our fears and actually “sing” or do something about it, that music dies within us.  How sad!  It would be better to “sing” slightly off key than to let the music die in us.               

Celebrating the New Year is an ancient custom dating back 4000 years to the Babylonians.  It had something to do with a New Moon and Vernal Equinox and such, but exactly why they selected this time of year to celebrate is not really known.  It seems to have no real agricultural significance and that’s what most people planned their lives around in those days.  Maybe it was a slow time of year and they just wanted to party!  And party they did for eleven days. 

Various cultures continued these customs but since the calendars were always being tampered with it wasn’t until Julius Caesar established the Julian calendar in 46 B.C. that January 1 became the New Year.  Of course in order to get the whole thing synchronized, the previous year had to last 445 days, but that’s a different story.  

Ushering in the New Year is celebrated in various ways by different cultures.  Some Moslems wear new clothes.  Some Asians release birds and turtles.  Some Japanese eat rice cakes. Some Hindus leave shrines next to their beds.  Then some countries such as Thailand, Nigeria, Uganda, and Cambodia temporarily depose their kings and set up temporary kings.  In Scotland the old year is banished by making a dummy and parading it through town.  Then it is buried, drowned or burned.  The dummy is called (and I take great offense at this) the Auld Wife. 

When America and Great Britain adopted the Gregorian calendar in 1752, January 1^st became our New Year’s Day, too.  Just like in ancient times some of us usher in the New Year by going to parties.  Although they don’t usually last eleven days like in the good old days.     

Some of us older people like to usher in the New Year by watching television.  We watch the Tournament of Roses parade, we watch football, and we watch a huge lighted ball fall to the ground in New York’s Times Square as we count down “ten, nine, eight, seven, etc…” to the New Year.

However you choose to celebrate all I can say is, “May your days be merry and bright.”  Whoops!  That’s a Christmas song.  This poem from Martin Luther might be more appropriate…

Glory to God in highest heaven,
Who unto man His Son hath given;
While angels sing with tender mirth,
A glad new year to all the earth.

God is in the highest heaven.  His Son is His gift to us.  The angels sing His glory and so should we!  We are alive!  We have so many reasons to celebrate.  So I wish all of you a glad New Year!  In the words of Martin Luther, “A glad new year to ALL!”