Barbara's Banter

A Journal of Joy: Things that make my heart smile…

When someone says something genuinely nice about me—something they really feel—I glow. It can put me in a good mood for days. By the same token, an unkind word can have the opposite effect. Words have a life of their own. 

Lawyers who battle it out in court have one goal—to win. Therefore, they do not always play fair. Many times they will ask an objectionable question knowing the judge will not allow it. The judge will strike it from the record and instruct the jury not to give it any credibility when rendering a decision, but it will be too late. Lawyers know the jury will remember what is said. They are counting on it because what is said lingers in a person’s mind. Words have a life of their own.

This is why we must be cautious in what we say to others. Even if we apologize for making careless statements to or about others, that does not erase what was said. You cannot strike it from the record or take it back, because people will remember it even if you say you didn’t really mean it. Spoken words don’t just dissolve into the air. They live on and damage is done.

No wonder the Bible speaks about taming our tongues (James 3). Both David and James use the metaphor of bridling our tongues (Psalms 39:1; James 1:26). A bridle is a leather harness and bit placed in a horse’s mouth to control it. That might seem a bit drastic to us, but in all honesty some of us could benefit from a built in muzzle that clamps over our mouths when we are about to say something we are going to regret.

As Christians we know the admonitions about not having a flattering tongue (Psalm 5:9), a haughty tongue (Psalm 12:2-4), a lying tongue (Proverbs 25:18), a backbiting tongue (Proverbs 25:23), a talebearer’s tongue (Proverbs 18:8), a cursing tongue (Romans 3:13-14), a sharp tongue (Proverbs 12:18), or to gossip (Romans 1:29). Perhaps the hardest tongue to guard against is one that manifests itself when we least expect it because our tongues speak from the abundance of our hearts (Matthew 12:34).

Unfortunately, this seems to happen with those who are closest to us. We say something stupid or hurtful and we don’t even know why. We might think, “I wonder where that came from?” But the heart knows. Someone or something can trigger unresolved issues within us, and we end up regurgitating them on others.

Solomon said to weigh our words carefully (Ecclesiastes 5:2-3). James said to think before we speak (James 1:19). Jesus said what goes into our mouths is not as important as what we say (Matthew 15:11).

Heartfelt words spoken with kindness, consideration, and love are beautiful (Proverbs 25:11). Careless, thoughtless words can be poisonous (James 3:8). Remember that words have a life of their own. What we say today lives on tomorrow!

That’s why I try to speak pleasant words. I don’t always succeed but that’s my goal. Proverbs 16:24 says, “Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.”  If I make my words sweet, they will be much easier to eat if I have to!

*****

O Father, put in my heart to say pleasant words. If I must correct or exhort another such as a child or employee, help it to only be done in love. Let Your words flow from my lips to others. Teach me to hold my tongue when I’m tempted to gossip, spread rumors, give a sharp response, or joke at someone else’s expense. Guide, direct, and motivate my tongue to be used for Your glory.

A Journal of Joy: Things that make my heart smile…

Okay, I admit it! I talk to myself all the time. I say, “Self, what did you come into this room to get?” I say that a lot. Sometimes I’ll say, “Self, why did you do that?” Carrying on a little conversation with yourself is not unhealthy. They say it’s when you start answering yourself that you need to worry.

We all know that words have power. That’s why we are told to bridle our tongues (James 3:1-10). Words can bring hurt or healing (Proverbs 18:21). This not only applies to how we talk to others, but how we talk to ourselves.

We are all constantly talking to ourselves through our thoughts. Unfortunately, most of it is not too positive. We call ourselves fat and ugly. We call ourselves stupid idiots. We tell ourselves we are worthless, unforgivable losers. We call ourselves clueless jerks. This is not a good thing.

While it’s true that we are all clueless jerks at one time or another, to dwell on it and get down on ourselves is not productive. It lingers in our subconscious and plants negative seeds of doubt. These seeds can take root in other parts of our lives and lead to destructive behavior. It can also cause depression and keep us from moving forward in the faith.

Proverbs 4:23 (GNT) tells us to “be careful how you think; your life is shaped by your thoughts.” Proverbs 23:7 tells us that “as a man thinks, so he is.” These scriptures caution us about how and what we think.

The father of General Semantics, Count Alfred Korzybski, once marveled, “Man is the only creature who can talk himself into a nervous breakdown and the only creature who can talk himself out of it.”

We won’t always be able to block negative self-talk, but we can certainly limit how much time and consideration we give it. We can choose not to continuously entertain it. We can choose to replace it with those things God says are worthy of our time and thought.

God says to bring every thought into captivity (2 Corinthians 10:5). We are told to meditate on things that are noble, just, pure, lovely, of good report, virtuous, and praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8). Thinking we are fat and stupid does not really fall in any of these categories.

We also need to view ourselves as God views us. God doesn’t think we are worthless or He wouldn’t have died for us (John 3:16). God doesn’t think we are unforgivable because He forgives us (1 John 1:9). We repeatedly condemn ourselves, but God doesn’t (Romans 8:1-2). God doesn’t think we’re losers. Through Him we are victorious winners (1 Corinthians 15:57).

One lady I’ve had to contact a time or two to give me information through our headquarters has never disappointed me. Each time she answers my email request, I send a little note of thanks and add, “You are a Sweetie!”

Her reply is always, “Yes, I know.”

I love that. That’s how God thinks of her and actually that’s what God thinks of me. So once in a while I’ll remind myself with positive self-talk, “Self, you are a sweetie!” If we fill our minds with what God thinks, we won’t have room for a lot of negative self-talk. 

*****

O Father, it is so hard to view myself the way You do. Please help me not to put myself or others down. Let my words be uplifting and encouraging to others and myself. You came not to condemn us, but to save us. Sometimes I need to be saved from myself.

A Journal of Joy: Things that make my heart smile…

To be honest, I’m not big on “missions” and “mission statements.” To me the word “mission” sounds task oriented. Being a bit lazy, I tend to shy away from anything remotely resembling more work I have to do. I know it’s all psychological, but what can I say? I tend to psych myself out sometimes. But I do like the word “purpose.” To me purpose means my life makes a difference and what I do each and every day matters—not only to me, but to those around me and to God.

Let’s face it, I’ll probably never give up all my worldly possessions to serve the poor, leave a lucrative medical practice to be a missionary in Africa, or travel the world to preach the gospel while bringing hundreds of people to Christ. That’s because I was not called to be like Mother Teresa, Dr. Albert Schweitzer, or Billy Graham. But that doesn’t make my life any less meaningful or important in God’s eyes. Maybe some of us were called to live ordinary lives—doing what we can to serve God and others regardless of circumstances.

An old adage states: We can’t all cross the ocean, but we can still stand on the shore and help launch the ships. In other words, those who stay behind doing God’s work are just as important as those that go to the forefront.

David understood this principle. When he and his men fought the Amalekites, some went into battle and some had to stay behind to guard the carriages and baggage left behind so the pursuit could move faster. When the soldiers returned victorious with the spoils, many did not want to share the bounty with those who had not gone into battle. They felt their jobs were more important than those who remained behind. David did not agree. He said that all would share in what God had given them equally. “The share of the man who stayed with the supplies is to be the same as that of him who went down to the battle. All will share alike” (1 Samuel 30:21-25).

We all have different strengths and weaknesses. Some may have a desire to serve in greater capacities but might be limited by health problems, finances, family obligations, and so on. God did not intend for everyone to live in a limelight. But just because people go unnoticed doesn’t mean they aren’t significant. We all must do what we can—and we all share in the same reward with God.

Maybe my mission or purpose or whatever you want to call it in life is as simple as sharing and showing the love of God. I am God’s workmanship created to live my life according to His will (Ephesians 2:10). If I stay God centered, He will give my life meaning, keep me focused and motivated—and His strength can keep me going (Philippians 4:13).

*****

Dear God, I don’t mind being ordinary. I really don’t! We are all extraordinary in Your eyes because You live in us. Equip me to embrace the tasks You lay before me so I can do what You would have me do and not run away. Give me the strength and courage to recognize and enter Your open doors. There are times when I feel like I’m not making progress as Your servant. Sometimes it’s all I can do just to make it through another day. Let me realize that being an encouraging support to others who have been called to serve in ways I haven’t such as missionaries, preachers, or chaplains is important in Your eyes. Bless the person traveling the world to spread Your gospel. And bless those of us who remain home and allow us to reflect Your light to all we meet—day by day.    

A Journal of Joy: Things that make my heart smile…

My mother died when I was in my early twenties but I’ve never forgotten the tidbits of knowledge she passed down to me during my formative years and it fills my heart with joy when I think of her. One thing she told me was, “Always remember that there are three sides to every story. Your side, their side, and what really happened.”

As a child it used to irritate me that she wouldn’t just accept my version of what happened. She would always want to get the full story. It was only when I grew up that I understood the wisdom of her advice. Here’s a true story that illustrates what she meant.

Years ago my husband and I worked near a pastor who was having some difficulties. Our headquarters labored diligently to help this man come to terms with his struggles. Finally, the pastor asked for and was granted a leave of absence so he could spend some reflective time praying and studying without the added responsibility of taking care of his church.

However, others who were not in our area heard that this man was treated unfairly and basically given the ax. Since we were in the adjacent area, we started receiving phone calls from all over the United States. “What a raw deal!” they would say. “How could they treat him that way?” Without sharing personal details of this man’s struggle, we assured our callers their information was faulty. Some believed us but others wanted to believe the worst, and so they did.

We learned a valuable lesson from this experience. How many times had we been guilty of making snap judgments or believing the worst without having all the facts?

It’s hard enough to accurately assess a predicament when we are knee-deep in it, much less forming opinions based on hearsay. Yet, life is filled with situations we must evaluate and sometimes even offer guidance. Teachers deal with student problems. Parents work with their children. Friends want to help friends. We in ministry are called upon to counsel others.

I often remember Mom’s “three sides to the story” principle when dealing with people. For example, when you are counseling a couple there is always his side, her side. and what really happened. If you are trying to sort out a sibling dispute, each has a version of what happened and then there is what really happened. Of course, the more people you have involved, the more “sides to the story” you will have. One hundred people can hear a sermon and each might have a different idea of what was said. Most of us don’t try to deliberately deceive in offering an account of what we think happened. We just all tend to see things from our point of view. Our perspective becomes our reality.

When we hear only one side of a story we need to be cautious about what we say. Sometimes those in dispute end up reconciling. Then the person we were talking with shares what we said about the other person, usually out of context, and we end up looking like the adversary. It can be difficult not to get caught up or emotionally involved in another person’s drama but it is better to keep our opinions to ourselves and just offer encouragement without taking sides.

In any case, it’s always wise to get as many facts as we can before forming an opinion about a situation—and it’s definitely better to think long and hard before sharing it with others.   

*****

Dear heavenly Father, how many times have I jumped to conclusions about others only to find out I was wrong? That’s why I desperately need Your guidance, wisdom, and counsel so I can make accurate assessments of situations. Keep me from spreading unfounded rumors and gossip. Put in my heart to listen more and speak less. Let me view others through the eyes of Your love.

A Journal of Joy: Things that make my heart smile…

Our family likes to celebrate. If someone gets a new job, we celebrate. If someone gets a raise, we celebrate. We may not always celebrate a birthday or anniversary on the right day, but we celebrate the occasion in one way or another. We’ve even been known to combine celebrating Mother’s and Father’s Day on a date somewhere between early May and late June because it’s the only time we can all get together, but we celebrate.

God is a God of joy. The scriptures are full of exhortations to rejoice (Psalm 118:24; Philippians 4:4). But did you know that God likes to celebrate as well? Celebrate means to observe a notable occasion with festivities. God likes a little singing (Ephesians 5:29, James 5:13), a little dancing (Psalm 149:3; Ecclesiastes 3:4), a little shouting (Isaiah 12:6; Psalm 47:1), and a lot of laughter (Proverbs 17:22; Psalm 126:2). For a good time, call God. He likes to celebrate. 

From the beginning it was so. When God laid the foundations of the earth He looked around and said, “It is very good!” Then the morning stars and sons of God shouted for joy (Job 38:7). Sounds like a celebration to me!

For the Old Testament Holy Days, God told the people to save their money, buy what their hearts desired, share it with others, and rejoice (Deuteronomy 14:26). Sounds like a celebration to me!

After the wall of Jerusalem had been rebuilt, everyone came together to dedicate it to the Lord. There was gladness, thanksgiving, praises to God, plus singing with cymbals, stringed instruments, and harps (Nehemiah 12:27-28). In fact, God had them rejoice with great joy, so much so that “the joy of Jerusalem was heard afar off” (Nehemiah 12:43). Sounds like a celebration to me!

When David and all the house of Israel brought up the ark of the Lord to the city of David, there was much shouting and the sound of the trumpet. David was so excited he danced with all his might (2 Samuel 6:14). Sounds like a celebration to me!

The biblical examples are endless. When the prodigal son returned, his dad threw a big party (Luke 15:23-24). Jesus’s first miracle took place at a wedding (John 2:1-8). In fact, He turned water into wine to keep the festivities going. And there is joy in heaven when one sinner repents (Luke 15:7, 10). Sounds like a lot of celebrating to me!

God created us to enjoy life. Celebrations are an important part of that enjoyment. They give us a break from our routines. We take pictures, send flowers, write cards, give gifts, have parades, shoot fireworks, throw parties, and eat cake. Celebrations can help us commemorate our past, appreciate the present, and look forward to the future. And we who have Christ in our lives have much to celebrate!

I don’t think God takes pleasure in joyless Christians leading joyless lives. I’m not saying we should all walk around with fake smiles on our faces pretending to be happy. There are times for quietness and reflection, but God’s presence in our lives gives us much to celebrate. God is the eternal joy giver. If we aren’t doing some celebrating, we might not be as close to God as we should be.

*****

O Father, how I love a happy celebration! You want me to live a joyous Christian life. If I am to be a reflection of You, I need joy in my life. Joy is contagious. Fill me with Your joy and help me to spread it to others.

A Journal of Joy: Things that make my heart smile…

A few years ago my husband and I accompanied our grown children on a tour of Egypt. We spent a couple of days in Cairo where we rode camels to the Pyramids, toured a papyrus factory, saw a laser light show at the Sphinx, and attended a whirling dervish evening. Then we took a riverboat cruise down the Nile making stops and seeing sights along the way. Being a creature of comfort, this air-conditioned river boat in hot, dusty Egypt was my idea of a good time.

In Luxor, our family wanted to take a hot air balloon ride at sunrise over the Valley of the Kings.  Now I am not the adventurous type. Usually I let the others go ahead on such treks while I stay back, relax with a good book, and wait for them to regale me later about what I missed. Plus, I am not a morning person so the thought of getting up 4 a.m. was daunting. But this time I surprised my family and said, “Great! Let’s do it!” After all, I thought, I’m not getting any younger. There might not be a lot more opportunities like this in my future.

We rose early. The tour staff picked us up from the riverboat and ferried us across the Nile by felucca (small boat). Then we were driven in a jeep to our take-off point. There we actually saw the balloons being inflated. There were several balloons with waist-high wicker baskets called gondolas attached. Each accommodated approximately 20 people or so along with the pilot and propane tanks which kept the balloon afloat. Our pilot’s name was Captain Bob.

After some brief instructions, we were ready to board. Now here’s where I had my problem. There was no way to get into these baskets without climbing. There were no ladders or such, just a few little indentations for a small portion of your foot as you climbed up. My husband went first so he could help me get in. The kids would follow me. Unfortunately, I have a trick knee that gives me trouble. So I couldn’t make that final swing of my leg to get into the basket. I tried several times, but just couldn’t do it.

I was back on the ground ready to try climbing one last time but had decided it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I didn’t get to go. Then I saw Captain Bob nod his head. Suddenly two large Egyptians swooped me up from behind, lifted me high, and hoisted me into the gondola. Imagine my shock. My daughter Sherisa said to my son, “When Mom turns around she is either going to be pissed or laughing her head off.” Well, I thought it was hilarious!

The balloon ride over the Valley of the Kings was spectacular. It’s been described as seeing the biggest open air museum from the sky. On one side you have the fields beyond the Nile and on the other side you have the tombs and temples. All are illuminated by the shimmering colors and glow of the morning sunrise. Getting out of the basket after the landing was a breeze because the balloon is deflated. So the basket just tips over and you walk out.

Oh how I laugh remembering my Egyptian helpers boosting me into that gondola. How many times has God given me an extra boost to get me over an obstacle in life—and here was just another example!

God is good. He sends us an extra boost every now and then—just when we need it most!

*****

Oh Father! How I laugh when I think about certain boosts of joy You have sent me. Laughter is such an important part of my life. You made me that way. For some reason You have allowed me to see the humor in everyday life and I’m so grateful. May laughter fill the lives of those I meet. Let them realize that You created laughter and it is good!

A Journal of Joy: Things that make my heart smile…

October is designated as Clergy Appreciation Month. I’m not sure who comes up with these months, perhaps Hallmark. But hey, being part of the clergy via marriage, I won’t balk at any form of appreciation. Everyone loves to be appreciated!

Being a pastor is not an easy job. Perhaps that’s why a lot leave this profession each year. Some leave due to burnout. Some feel they want to do something else. Others are ousted due to personality conflicts, unrealistic expectations, theological differences, or conflicting visions for a church.

Finding good replacements is not easy. In fact, I heard a story about a man applying to be a church pastor. Although he was a loving man who cared for the flock, he was turned down for the following reasons:  

• He was too young—only 30ish—so he wouldn’t be able to relate to the elderly.
• He was single, so he wouldn’t be able to relate to married couples.
• He didn’t have children, so he wouldn’t be able to help with child-rearing troubles.
• He associated with those outside the church, so some in the church would feel neglected.
• He had some close friends, so he would be considered cliquish.
• He got angry occasionally, so some would say he lacked self-control.
• He valued a woman’s opinion, so he would be perceived as a wimp.
• He liked solitude once in a while, so some might think he was aloof.
• Some of his messages were hard to understand, so he would not be a good speaker.
• Some of what he taught was progressive, so he might be considered a heretic.
• He taught basic principles, so he wouldn’t be innovative enough.
• He didn’t jump every time someone said “froggy,” so some might think him inaccessible.
• He favored the poor and needy, so the ones who could really give money to keep the church afloat might be offended.
• He drank wine, so some would think he was an alcoholic.
• Do you recognize this man? His name was Jesus.

Qualities of a good pastor have changed through the years. Somewhere in time the line between “shepherding a flock” and “managing the people” blurred. No longer are the qualifications mentioned in 1 Timothy 3, Titus 1, and 1 Peter 5 enough. It’s fine to teach through a loving example what Christianity is all about like being prudent, kind, concerned, humble, balanced, gentle, hospitable, doctrinally sound, temperate, reputable, respected, and devout, but what about administrative skills, church growth strategies, raising money, and keeping everyone happy?

 Pastoring in today’s society is especially hard because church has morphed into more of a business organization than a gathering of people wanting to learn more about Jesus. On the surface, it may appear that all the pastor does is marry couples, preach the dead into heaven, and give a sermon once a week. Actually, his is an endless job of counseling, evangelizing, communicating with church leaders, visiting the sick, making people feel loved and valued, appeasing ruffled feathers, conducting Bible studies, being on-call 24/7, community involvement, cleaning the toilet when the janitor doesn’t show up, sharing sorrows and joys, listening to the disgruntled, and oh yes, trying to pray and study so he will have something spiritual to pass on to others.

Yet, those called to pastor do their jobs lovingly, because they truly want to serve others. They want to help others grasp the greatness of God. They want people to know that God is the answer to all their needs, hopes, and desires.

If Jesus Himself would not qualify to pastor a church today, then chances are your pastor is not perfect. A flock abuser should not be tolerated, but a pastor who errs on the side of giving, loving, and serving can’t be too bad.  

Showing appreciation through notes of encouragement and being supportive is a good idea. However, do not neglect the weightier matters. The most important thing you can do for pastors today is pray for them and their families! Prayer is the perfect appreciation present! It’s a priceless gift that costs the giver little. So I urge you to pray for all pastors—the perfect and the imperfect, too! The fields are ripe. The laborers are few – and getting fewer all the time!   

*****

Father, if I am totally honest with You, being in ministry for over fifty years has not been easy. Ministry is especially hard for pastor’s wives and their children. It would be a lot harder if I weren’t married to a man You have anointed with Your grace to be a loving shepherd for every congregation he has served. He has always been a helper of their joy, not a policeman of their faith. To God be the glory for this wonderful giftedness!

A Journal of Joy: Things that make my heart smile…

I’ve always enjoyed hanging with the old folks. It’s a good thing, because I am now on a fast track to becoming one of them.

In the south, rural areas used to celebrate Decoration Day. It was an occasion where families or church congregations gathered to place flowers on the graves of loved ones and hold a little memorial service for them. Traditionally this involved singing, dinner on the grounds, and a religious service. It was a time for people to get together, visit, catch up, remember old times, and honor loved ones who had passed away. The old folks loved it.

On one such occasion a girlfriend of mine looked around and said, “Where are the old folks?”

I looked around and said, “I think we are the old folks!” That happened a few years ago, when I wasn’t nearly as old as I am now.  

When my folks were alive, my husband and I used to fly back often to visit them in a small town in Illinois. As they were nearing eighty, one of their favorite pastimes was to go to the Senior Center for lunch, play a little Bingo, and participate in whatever activity was offered that day. If we were there, they would take us along.  

A small town Senior Center is sort of like high school for old people—except not as cliquish. There’s a little bit of flirting, a lot of “did you hear about” this or that, and some who need to grow up—but unfortunately won’t have the time to do so.

My parents loved us to go with them and we enjoyed it, too! On one particular visit we were seated side by side with my folks across from us. Next to me was a little old lady I struck up a conversation with. She finally asked, “Sweetheart, could you introduce me to your father?”

I pointed across the table and said, “That’s my dad.”

She said, “Oh, well, who’s the attractive man sitting next to you? I really want to meet him. Is he married?” Talk about making my day. She thought my husband was my father. Thanks to Ms. Clairol, those gray hairs described as a “glorious crown” in the Bible are just a metaphor to me (Proverbs 16:31).

That was quite a few years ago. Now we both qualify to be senior citizens. We look at others our age and say, “Surely we can’t look that old.”

Then we say, “No, we don’t! We look great!” Ah, the joy of not wearing your glasses!

When my husband’s aunt was in her late nineties, we flew back to Rhode Island to help her move to the West Coast to be with family. While going through her things we found she had saved quite a bit of money. So we asked her if there was anything special she had ever wanted to buy or a trip she would like to take. She was appalled and said, “I can’t spend that money! I’m saving it for my old age.” Neither of us had the heart to tell her she was old. 

If we spend a little time with old folks, they will tell us that each day is a gift no matter what age we are (Psalm 118:24). We can rejoice and be glad all our days (Psalm 20:14). We can make the most of our time and apply our hearts to wisdom (Psalm 90:12). We can resolve to finish the race God has set before us (2 Timothy 4:7). We can keep our sense of purpose and our sense of humor (Proverbs 17:22).

Growing old is not so bad—especially when you think of the alternative. Here’s a thought I find comforting: the seasons of my life may change but God never does. The aging process may eventually weaken my body and maybe my mind to a certain extent but if my relationship with God is my priority, I have nothing to worry about.

*****

O God, thank You for the wisdom of the older folks I’ve met in my life. We all must grow old. Although I’m aging, I’m still hearty and active. While I am, put in my heart to seek out those older who need encouragement. Let me take the time to visit with them, listen to their stories, bring them something a little special, and learn from them. Let them know they are not forgotten, but loved.

A Journal of Joy: Things that make my heart smile…

Some say old is always twenty years from the age you are. It’s a nice thought but I don’t think it’s accurate. I won’t lie to you. I don’t find a great deal of joy in growing older, but I do find a great deal of joy in being alive!

It all started when I turned 70. I seemed to breeze through aging milestones like 40, 50, and 60. I must admit that when I turned 65, signed up for Social Security, got on Medicare, and started thinking about retirement, I felt I was getting older. But 65 didn’t sound old. Then I turned 70. 70 sounded very old to me.

I tried to analyze why I had a bit of a problem adjusting. After all, I’ve had a very full life and think there is much more ahead to celebrate. I think it was that I felt I was transitioning from one season in my life to another. That didn’t mean I had a bunch of things I wanted to do before I died. It just meant it may be time for me to make a few changes, shake things up a bit, and not be satisfied with the “same old, same old.” This may not seem like a big deal to you, but to someone like me who loves consistency, dislikes surprises, and hates change, it was a major mindset adjustment.

I had an “aha” moment when my girlfriend Evonne gave me a birthday gift card for a Baggallini, a stylish functional purse designed by flight attendants for travel or every day. (Do I sound like a commercial?) Evonne had one I loved. So I surfed the net to find just the right one. I told her via email I had narrowed it down to a black one, but wasn’t sure of the exact style. There were many to choose from.

She said, “What a big surprise! All your purses are black. Now that you are turning 70 I thought you’d step up your game!”

Bingo! A light bulb went off! That’s my problem. If I’m going to do anything a little differently, now is the time. So I bought a red Baggallini! It’s the new me. Suddenly I seem to be embracing this new season of my life.  

I didn’t join the Red Hat Society but I understand them. Red has become my signature color. If I’m not wearing a red blouse or sweater, I’m usually sporting a few red accessories. My kids have been very supportive. They’ve bought me a red Coach purse, a red leather iPhone case, red sandals, red house slippers, red walking shoes, a red Fitbit, a red iPad, and a red carrying case. I must admit, I really look good in red!

The Bible speaks of the older women teaching the younger women (Titus 3:2-5). Well, I’m older so here’s a little advice for younger women. Don’t be a wallflower! Live a colorful life. If there is a certain bright color that makes you smile, wear it. It’s a joy to be alive!

*****

Ah Lord God, thank You for another day of life! It is good to be alive! Do You have a favorite color? You have created so many to choose from. I look good in teal, shades of blue, and my new favorite—red! But I love gazing at all the lovely colors surrounding me—the bright yellow sunflowers, the green oak trees, and chirping orange oriole. You are the great Creator. As I grow older, let me appreciate the wonders around me and think of You!    

A Journal of Joy: Things that make my heart smile…

I thank God daily for our family. I can’t think of anything that brings me more joy unless it would be God Himself. We are not without problems; that’s for sure. We don’t all get along; that’s for sure. We all have our individual idiosyncrasies; that’s for sure. However, God seems to have given us the ability to set them all aside when we have a family gathering. While most families hate the holidays because their families will all be together, we love them. We love enjoying a meal together and then playing family games.

We love just about all kinds of games—card games, word games, board games, and even puzzles. While some might consider this a waste of time, we’ve always considered it time well spent.

When our son Matthew was about ten we played a lot of Yahtzee. So he spray-painted a big bottle blue and made a “Yahtzee Cup” flag to perch on top. A 4 x 6 index card was taped to the side of the bottle to display the winners’ names. Would you believe we still have that “cup” and we are still writing names of the winners on it?

Once when our children were little we were playing Twenty Questions in the car. You know the game where you come up with something for everyone to guess; then you tell them whether it’s in the animal, vegetable, or mineral category. Guessers can ask up to twenty questions to find out what it is. It was my husband’s turn and he said, “The category is animal!”

Off we went with our barrage of questions. Is it little? Does it have four legs? Is it found in the jungle? Can we ride it?

We had narrowed it down to a farm animal with long legs that we could ride. Imagine our surprise when he said was long, legged pig. He thought that was very funny. I did not. He had tricked us with some fantasy animal he dreamed up in his mind. This was not a good example for our children and I told him so.

Evidently I must have voiced my opinion more vocally than I thought because a few days later I heard our seven-year-old daughter Sherisa tell her grandmother, “And Mommy said if Daddy doesn’t play fair, she’s not going to let him play games with us anymore.”

In spite of a few faux pas, we still found family games were an excellent avenue for teaching our young children life lessons such as how to follow directions, learn new skills, take turns, interact with others, win or lose graciously, and play fair. Spiritual parallels could be drawn as well such as developing patience, kindness, self-control, and joy.   

Of all the benefits of playing family games, the most important one I think was spending time together. Family time is almost a lost art form. Today, families don’t even eat together. Oh they may be in the same room but one child might be watching TV, another playing a video game, another texting, while Mom is on her computer and Dad is talking on his cell phone. However, with family games, all participants are engaged together.

Our kids are grown now but when our family gets together we still love to play family games. While playing we talk, we share, we bond, we love, and we laugh. I thank God all the time for the gift of laughter. Oh the joy I feel when our family is laughing together!

When I think of talking, sharing, bonding, loving, and laughing, I think of God. These are things I like to do with on my daily walk with God as well. Too many of us picture God as a fuddy-duddy incapable of having fun. I can’t help but wonder if Jesus visited our family today, would He join us in a game of one of our family favorites like Qwirkle, Encore, Nertz, Five Crowns, King of Tokyo, 31, Quiplash, Drawful, or Camel Up. I think He would. He might just consider it time well spent.

*****

O heavenly Father, I can’t thank You enough for our family! O the joy I feel when we get together and I hear them laugh. May each one feel special, loved, and appreciated. May I never cease to lift them up to You in prayer. Thank You for the wonderful things You have done for them—things they may not even be aware of. Give them Your favor as they walk through life. What an extraordinary gift You have bestowed on us. Let me never take this beloved gift or them for granted.