Barbara's Banter

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life knows that freedom is not free. It comes with a cost.   

With the Fourth of July just around the corner, we went to see a revival of the musical 1776. Once again I was reminded that getting delegates from all thirteen colonies to sign the Declaration of Independence in 1776 was no small feat. In fact, it was miraculous.

The musical ends with the signing of the Declaration of Independence, but history shows us that this event was more than just writing their “John Hancock” on a piece of paper. Those men had courage. From the moment they signed their names, they became traitors in the eyes of the British. They sacrificed a lot so that we might have freedom.

Did you know that the British considered John Hancock and Sam Adams criminals and had a price on their heads? The British chased Thomas McKean, George Read, and William Hooper like foxes. They had to move their families from town to town to escape being captured. Ned Rutledge, the youngest signer, and Thomas Hayward Jr. were made prisoners of war. Richard Stockton was captured, tortured, and killed. James Otis was beaten by British and left mentally deranged.

William Floyd, Lyman Hall, George Clymer, and Lewis Morris had their homes plundered and destroyed. While “Honest John” Hart was away, his wife died during an attack on his home. His children had to flee to neighbors for refuge. Francis Lewis had his Long Island mansion destroyed. His wife was imprisoned and tortured. The Revolutionary War swept away his fortune.

War costs money, so many other fortunes were lost, too. Lewis Morris was a very wealthy merchant in Philadelphia. His home and business was destroyed. He ended up in debtor’s prison. Thomas Nelson died, also leaving his family deeply in debt.

John Morton of Pennsylvania had all of his friends (mostly Quakers) turn against him. These stories could go on and on. The trials of all 56 men are too numerous to mention. They did more than sign a historic document; they sacrificed their lives so that we might have freedom.

Someone else sacrificed His life for my freedom. His name is Jesus Christ. He was rich and for me, He became poor. (11 Corinthians 8:9) He died to give me freedom from sin and freedom from bondage. (Romans 6:18, 22; Galatians 5:1) He gave me the free gift of righteousness and the free gift of grace. (Romans 5:17; Ephesians 2:8) Through His death, I have free justification. (Romans 3:24) Christ has made us free indeed! (John 8:31-36)

Those living the abundant life realize that nothing in life is free. Someone always has to pay a price.  

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life knows how to offer a sincere apology.

Some people never apologize. Proud people have a hard time admitting they are wrong. Arrogant people know they are never wrong. Those with fragile egos can’t accept the fact they may be wrong. Others make excuses, try to justify, or claim they were provoked to do what they did. None of these are living the abundant life.

Although admitting we are occasionally wrong can be emotionally uncomfortable or painful, it is the only way to restore trust, achieve reconciliation, and strengthen relationships. Remember that God is all about relationships. Studies have shown that sincere apologies benefit the giver and receiver. Apologies actually improve physical and mental health.  

When one continually refuses to admit errors, their hearts become hardened. The Bible has a lot to say about hardened hearts. For an apology to be effective, it should be heart-felt. One can’t just go through the motions.

In the Bible, the word “hardened” means to be stubborn, bullheaded, headstrong, self-willed, inflexible, or stiff-necked. We all struggle with these proclivities from time to time. The trick is not to let these characteristics overtake and consume us. A stiff-necked person is headed for disaster. (Proverbs 29:1) Hearts that become calloused do not want to see or hear God. (Matthew 13:14-15) Hardened hearts lose their spiritual vitality. They go through the motions of being Christians, but their hearts are not in it. They may honor God with their lips, but their hearts are far from Him. (Mark 7:6-7)

When we ask God, He can replace hardened hearts with new ones that will yield to Him. (Ezekiel 36:26) This new heart will have empathy for others. God wants us to be reconciled to others. He wants us to admit when we are wrong. (Matthew 5:23-24) He also wants us to look at things from the other guy’s perspective.

Many articles and books have been written about the art of an apology. Here are some tips they offer. Apologies need to be thought out. Quick ones are not as effective. Saying, “I’m sorry you feel that way” is not as meaningful as saying, “I’m sorry I made you feel that way.” Accept responsibility for your part in any misunderstanding. Let people know you regret what happened and resolve to do better in the future.

Even if we give the perfect, heart-felt apology, there is no guarantee someone will forgive us. Pressuring others to forgive adds to hurt feelings. Some people need time and space to heal. At least, with a sincere apology, we become a stepping stone to the healing process and not a stumbling block.

Those living the abundant life know it takes a lot of moral strength, character, and courage to offer a sincere apology. They also know their lives will be richer if they do. 

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life views God as a loving father, not one whose primary purpose is to punish, reprove, penalize, chastise, rebuke, and condemn. 

Those with fathers who were distant or absent during childhood may feel God is far away and disinterested. Those with fathers who continually put them down may feel they can never be good enough for God’s blessings. Those who only received attention when they behaved badly may feel God will never notice them unless they misbehave. Those who loved their fathers dearly but were hurt when that love was never reciprocated may be reluctant to openly acknowledge love for God the Father.

We are products of our past. Those who were fortunate enough to have loving physical fathers can find it easier to believe in a loving spiritual father. It can be challenging for those whose formative years were marred with unpleasant memories of their dad to realize God is not like some earthly fathers who disappoint and abuse their power. God is a good father. 

In fact, God is the ultimate good Father. He is never too busy for us. He is always available and willing to give us His undivided attention. Rather than being quick to zap us when we get out of line, He is slow to anger and plenteous in mercy. When we need discipline, He gives it lovingly—just enough to bring us into alignment with His will. He seeks not to control us, but to love us. He loves us even if we reject Him. He believes in us, even if we don’t believe in Him.

God is not distant. He climbed into our world to get even closer to us. Like one who stoops to look into the eyes of a child to better communicate with them, He came to us. He takes us by the hand and leads us through every stage of our lives. He laughs with us, cries with us, and is with us every step of the way. He never leaves or forsakes us. (Hebrews 13:5)

His goal is not to lay down ultimatums so we will never measure up. He seeks not to condemn but to redeem. (John 3:17) God is our loving Father.  

Does our view of God matter? I think it does. If we view Him as harsh, we will be reluctant to surrender our will to His. However, if we view Him as loving and kind, we will want Him actively involved in every aspect of our lives.

We live in a disillusioning world. People let us down. Even the best of human fathers will disappoint at times. They are not perfect. But there is ONE who is perfect. He will never let us down. He gave His only begotten son to die for us. (John 3:16) His arms are always open to receive us, comfort us, be with us through life’s ups and downs, and give us that reassuring hug when we need it.

The abundant life views God as the loving Father He is, and their lives are much richer because they do.

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life knows that although change can be challenging, a smooth transition can make the process easier. 

A transition is a passage or movement from one state, stage, or place to another. Change is rarely easy. Even change for the better can be uncomfortable. How we navigate our transitions can make a significant impact on our overall mental, physical, and spiritual health.

Change is inevitable. Some changes are forced upon us due to circumstances, many beyond our control. Perhaps a spouse or child gets a debilitating disease. Maybe we must move to another area to take care of aging parents. We might face a salary cut, forced retirement, or burn out. Plus, all around us social, cultural, and political climates change.

Learning new technologies can be intimidating, but may be necessary. For example, those who refuse to get a cell phone may not be able to communicate with businesses or loved ones. I wish them luck looking for a telephone booth if they want to make a call while out and about. Even Clark Kent has had to find a different way to change into Superman.  

All transitions, for the good or for the bad, can involve a certain amount of discomfort. There is a learning curve for anything new we encounter. It’s a growth process. The way we always did things in the past may need to be adapted or updated, and done differently. Different is not necessarily bad. It’s just not what we are used to.

However, realizing that change is a normal part of life can make difficult transitions easier. Any

change will bring some challenges. If we know a certain change is definitely for good, then it’s better to embrace it, not fight it.

During transitions, we can remain stable if we cling to constants that do not change, such as our values and Christian principles. Jesus Christ is still the same yesterday, today, and forever. (Hebrews 13:8) The Word of God is still the solid foundation of truth. (2 Timothy 3:16) Prayer, Bible study, and meditating on God’s Word may sound like cliché’ advice, but seeking God is still the key that aids in coping in any situation. Let’s not make the mistake of limiting what God can do in our lives or the lives of others. The gospel message is always the same but how it is presented may need to adjust with changing times.   

Since change is inevitable, transitions are always with us—in the workplace, at school, in our communities, in society, at home, in our lives, and in ministry. Those living the abundant life have learned to walk with God as they transition into whatever the future holds.

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life knows that change is hard. In fact, just mention the word “change” and an automatic resistance shield springs up around most of us.

Yes, change can be hard. Yet, change is inevitable—in our families, our homes, our communities, our world, our church, and everywhere. It’s been said that the only constant in life is change. Some changes are beyond our control and thrust upon us. Some changes we may have to accept. Others we must choose.

Change can be a friend or a foe, but it’s never easy. The Russian empress Catherine the Great described the changing times of the eighteenth century this way: “A great wind is blowing and that gives you either imagination or a headache.” Not much has changed regarding our reaction to change since then. We don’t like it. We struggle with it. We resist it. We fear it. However, as things around us change, we must adapt or make changes as well. Sometimes our survival depends on our ability to change.

When the Israelites faced the prospect of entering Canaan, they sent scouts out to take a look at this land God had promised them—a land “flowing with milk and honey.” Indeed, the land was all God said it would be. (Numbers 13:27) However, they perceived those inhabiting this land as much stronger than they were. (Numbers 13:31-33) So instead of going forward with God’s blessings, the majority wanted to return to Egypt where they had been enslaved. (Numbers 14:1-4) They would have preferred something familiar no matter how bad it was, rather than moving forward into the unknown.

Many of us are like that when faced with a significant change. Since we can’t be certain of the outcome, we back away. Some of us would prefer to just live in pain or be unhappy instead of stepping out in faith. However, if we want things to be different, we cannot remain the same. We either choose to act in faith or react in fear.

God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and a strong mind. (2 Timothy 1:7) The spirit He gives us has the ability to make changes when needed. Positive changes can mean growth. Those unwilling to change can become stagnant, lifeless, and lethargic.  

Many think that if they change it means what they’ve done in the past was all wrong. The past doesn’t have to be put in a negative context. After all, the past was a stepping stone to the future. Let’s face it, what we did fifty years ago may have worked well then, but times change. Circumstances change.

This is very evident in presenting the gospel message to others. The message is the same because Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8), but how we present it to others may need to adapt with the times.

Those living the abundant life know that if they don’t like what they are getting out of life, they must change what they are giving. In other words, they strive to be the change they want to see in others.

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life knows that life is unpredictable. You can’t control life. However, you can control your reaction to it. That’s what the first part of the serenity prayer is all about. It says, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change…”

This kind of serenity is not complacency. The prayer goes on to ask God for “courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” This serenity is what helps us deal with those “it is what it is” circumstances in our lives—those situations you can do nothing about.

For example, let’s say you are seated in a restaurant. When they bring the menu, there are no prices listed. You are too embarrassed to ask what the items cost or leave, so you order. Then the bill comes. It is what it is, so you pay it.  

Let’s say you have car trouble in a remote town. There is only one lone gas station and you need your car fixed. Then the bill comes. It is what it is, so you pay it.

Life is full of “it is what it is” moments. Some are inconveniences. Your child gets sick at school and you have to leave the big meeting to go get him. You have a really, really bad hair day. Your car won’t start, so you are late. It is what it is, so you deal with it.  

Some circumstances are very unfair. You do the work but your superior takes the credit. Your spouse has found someone younger and more attractive, so asks for a divorce. You are the victim of unwarranted gossip. It is what it is, so you cope.

Other things may be unfair but you get the benefit. You get the promotion when the other guy should have gotten it. You survive the accident when you should have died. The cop didn’t give you a ticket even though you were speeding. It is what it is, so you rejoice!

Much of life is a mystery. We don’t know what will come next all the time. It is what it is! I think God planned it that way. If we knew everything, we wouldn’t need faith. We don’t know what tomorrow holds. It is what it is! Fortunately, we know who holds tomorrow and God can see us through whatever lies ahead, if we let Him.

Those living the abundant life know that the great “I AM” (John 8:58) can help us make it through any “it is what it is” situations that come our way! They ask God to grant them the serenity to accept things they cannot change.

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life endeavors to master the art of knowing when to speak and when to remain silent. They strive to control their tongues, rather than letting their tongues control them.

Words are powerful tools. They can calm, cheer, and encourage. (Proverbs 12:25) They can also destroy. (Proverbs 18:21) Maybe that’s why David asked God to set a guard over his mouth. (Psalm 141:3)

What we say matters! Even if we apologize for making careless statements to or about others, that does not erase what was said. We cannot strike it from the record or take it back, because people will remember it even if we really didn’t mean it. Spoken words don’t just dissolve into thin air. They live on.

Lawyers know this. Many times they will ask an objectionable question knowing the judge will not allow it. The judge will strike it from the record and instruct the jury not to give it any credibility when rendering a decision, but it will be too late. Lawyers know the jury will remember what is said. They are counting on it because what is said lingers in a person’s mind. Words have a life of their own.

No wonder the Bible speaks about taming our tongues. (James 3) Both David and James use the metaphor of bridling our tongues. (Psalms 39:1, James 1:26) A bridle is a leather harness and bit placed in a horse’s mouth to control it. That might seem a bit drastic to us, but in all honesty some of us could benefit from a built in muzzle that clamps over our mouths when we are about to say something we are going to regret.

As Christians we know the biblical admonitions about not having a flattering tongue (Psalm 5:9), a haughty tongue (Psalm 12:2-4), a lying tongue (Proverbs 25:18), a backbiting tongue (Proverbs 25:23), a tale bearers tongue (Proverbs 18:8), a cursing tongue (Romans 3:13, 14), or a sharp tongue (Proverbs 12:18).

Solomon said to weigh our words carefully. (Ecclesiastes 5:2, 3) James said to think before we speak. (James 1:19) Jesus said what goes into our mouths is not as important as what we say. (Matthew 15:11)

Careless, thoughtless words can be poisonous. (James 3:8) Heartfelt words spoken with kindness, consideration, and love are beautiful. (Proverbs 25:11) Those living the abundant life know this, so they try very hard to tame their tongues.

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life recognizes priceless treasures.

Priceless treasures are so valuable that you would never want to part with them. That doesn’t mean they are costly or expensive. Most of us think of what something is worth in terms of money, or perhaps gold and silver. Those living the abundance life know that priceless treasures cannot be bought or sold. They are too precious.

When Mother’s Day comes around I think about when we had our first child over fifty years ago. My father-in-law gave me a poem which he lovingly hand wrote as a keepsake. It was by that famous author, Anonymous. I memorized the first two lines.

“Some have silver and some have gold,

But you have a child in your arms to hold.”

Each stanza describes those who have land, power, riches, pride, or fame. But how can those things compare to a child’s smile, embrace, footsteps, first words, or kiss? That poem has provided me with an inner compass. When our other two children were born I would reread it just to keep perspective of what is most important in life. I did the same thing when the grandkids arrived.

Who hasn’t longed for a wealth and riches? Who hasn’t longed to be able to afford expensive works of art? Having traveled a bit, I’ve been dazzled by Da Vinci’s Mona Lisa, Van Gogh’s Starry Night, Monet’s Water Lilies, and Whistler’s Portrait of the Painter’s Mother. I’ve marveled at Michelangelo’s Statue of David, the Greek Venus de Milo, and Rodin’s The Thinker. I’ve been a guest in homes so lavish and pristine you were afraid to breathe, much less sit down. And I can say without hesitation that none of these can compare to my own assortment of priceless treasures which have taken me years to accumulate.

My cherished collection includes but is not limited to the following:

• Carnations made out of pink Kleenex tissues
• A hanging wall letter holder made from paper plates
• Popsicle framed pictures
• A teabag taped to a picture of a teapot
• A jewelry box made from macaroni glued to a cigar box and spray painted gold
• Abstract (and I do mean abstract) works of art
• Family collages of pictures pasted on construction paper
• Handmade greeting cards with original poems beginning with “Roses are red and violets are blue”
• Awards with “World’s Greatest Mom” written in crayon
• Colorful potholders made from material scraps
• A cutting board made in shop class
• Message holders made from clothespins
• Paper weights made from painted rocks
• Plaster of paris foot prints
• Coupons that say, “I will take out the trash” or “I will clean my room.”
• A child’s handprint accompanied by a poem about children leaving fingerprints everywhere in a home

It’s taken years to acquire these priceless treasures. And even more priceless yet were the “little treasures” who presented them to me, because as the last stanza of my poem explains…

“What matter then if wealth we miss?

For what is gold compared to this?”

Yes, those living the abundant life know the difference between money and priceless treasures.

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life knows how to be still and surrender to God

We are in such a hurry, always going here and there, always doing this and that. But constant activity does not equal productivity or progress. A hamster can constantly run on a wheel but he’s not really getting anywhere, is he? Let’s face it… some of us are never “still” long enough to give God a chance to work in our lives.

God tells us, “Be still and know I am God.” (Psalm 46:10) The Hebrew word here for still is “raphe” which means to be weak, let go, or release. It actually means to surrender our will to God’s. 

I think this is the kind of stillness Jesus had when He remained silent as men reviled Him and when He died on the cross. He had the power to bring everyone to their knees. He could have brought fire down from heaven to consume them. Yet, he remained silent, allowing them to say and do their worst. He had surrendered His will to His Father.

This kind of stillness gives God the opportunity to work for us and fight our battles. We don’t need to vindicate ourselves, seek revenge, or plot how to bring others down who do us wrong. We can surrender our will to God’s and let Him provide the answers.

If we read all of Psalm 46, we see that God is our refuge, strength, and our present help in time of trouble. God takes care of and defends His people. So when verse 10 says, “Be still and know that I am God” in a way it is also telling us to stop struggling and surrender ourselves to God who is our refuge and strength. God has it all under control. We need to “let-go” of our worries and “let-God” do His thing!

That’s basically what Moses told the children of Israel to do. “Fear not, stand still and see the salvation of the Lord.” (Exodus 14:13) Then God parted the waters, killed the Egyptians, and delivered them from their enemy.

Those living the abundant life know that it’s difficult to see the salvation of the Lord if we never take the time to be still and look for it.

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)

The Abundant Life: Riches money can’t buy…

The abundant life does not try to control people.  

If we are truthful, we would like to control people. In fact, we would like to control every situation and outcome. We just like to be in control, don’t we? After all, we think we know what is best. We might not actually say that out loud but secretly that’s what most of us believe. Of course, we know controlling everything is not realistic, but that doesn’t stop us from trying.

Many don’t realize that the concept of control is an illusion. So much of life cannot be controlled. We can’t control the past or the future. We can’t control the weather or natural disasters. We can’t control time. Just ask those of us who are aging and we will tell you that time marches on—and usually all over our bodies. We can’t control cats. Well, you can try but most cats will do what they want to do, much like people. Speaking of people, you can’t control them either.  

People will think what they want to think, like what they want to like, believe what they want to believe, and treat you how they want to treat you. You can’t control their motives. You can’t control their actions because they will do what they want to do. We just can’t control or change others no matter how hard we try.

However, we can try to control ourselves. Believe it or not, the positive changes we make in our own lives can have a beneficial effect on those around us. There is an old adage that says: Be the change you want to see in others.

We can control our thoughts and mindset. (2 Corinthians 10:5) We can control how we treat others. (Matthew 7:12) We can offer forgiveness. (Ephesians 4:32) We can practice what we preach. (James 1:22) We can be a light in a darkened world. (Matthew 5:16) We can express thanks. (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) We can choose to react with kindness instead of anger. (Romans 12:17-20) Yes, we can do this and so much more with God’s help.

In fact, this is what God wants us to “put out” into the world. I’ve heard it said that we control the output, but God controls the outcome. God can take what we do and use it for His glory.

Those living the abundant life know that they cannot control others. So they let go of their preconceived ideas of what is best for everyone, and place people into God’s loving hands. 

*****

“…I have come that they may have life and that they

may have it more abundantly.” ~John 10:10 (KJV)