{"id":5415,"date":"2020-06-14T09:00:17","date_gmt":"2020-06-14T14:00:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.barbdahlgren.com\/?p=5415"},"modified":"2020-04-19T15:44:52","modified_gmt":"2020-04-19T20:44:52","slug":"lessons-from-dad","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/?p=5415","title":{"rendered":"Lessons from Dad"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

A Journal of Joy: Things that make my heart smile\u2026<\/em>..<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Around\nFather\u2019s Day, precious memories of my dad flood my soul! A lot of them came\nfrom his last year of life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s\nfunny how your parents seem to age all of a sudden. One minute you look at them\nand they look like your mom or dad. The next minute, some old person is looking\nat you. That\u2019s how it was with my dad. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When\nmy 84-year-old father\u2019s hip broke, we knew it was the beginning of the end. First\nhe went to the hospital to have a rod put in. The pain was excruciating. He was\nin the beginning stages of Alzheimer\u2019s, so he was very disoriented. We had to\nexplain over and over and over again where he was and what had happened. He\nlooked so frail and frightened. Any quality of life was gone. I felt guilty\npraying for God to release him from this world, and I felt guilty asking God to\nlet him live. But I must admit, although I prayed for God\u2019s will to be done, my\nheart\u2019s desire was for our heavenly Father to just let him go, but He didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\nwas obvious Dad could no longer be cared for at home, so it was with\napprehension that we placed him in a nursing home. After much prayer and\ndiscussion, we opted for a veteran\u2019s facility about 30 miles from my parent\u2019s\nhome in the Midwest. It was a clean and a had a loving environment\u2014something many\nin my dad\u2019s position weren\u2019t fortunate enough to have. It was also close enough\nfor my stepmom to faithfully visit him for a few hours every day. My\nstepbrother lived about four hours away and came back almost every other\nweekend to help her drive. Since I lived in California, it was more difficult\nfor me to get back to visit, but I tried to make it once a month and stayed in\ntouch via telephone a couple of times a week. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

At\nfirst Dad cried to come home but that was out of the question. His hip healed\nand he became a little mobile, using a walker and wheelchair. Although he was\ngenerally a mild-mannered man, he could wreak havoc out of frustration. My\nheart ached each time I saw him and I begged God to be merciful but prayed,\n\u201cnevertheless, Lord, Your will be done.\u201d Eventually, Dad settled in and started\nthinking of his little room as home. He didn\u2019t fuss as much when Mom left each\nday. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\ngradually became clear to me there might be many reasons why God chose to keep\nmy dad alive, one of them being that I had a lot to learn through this\nexperience. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\nlearned love from the staff at this care facility. It\u2019s true they got paid for\nwhat they did, but no amount of money could give them the sunny dispositions\nthey kept day after day. They tenderly cleaned Dad up and changed his soiled\nlinen. The nurses gave him kisses, combed his hair, and made sure he ate. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\nlearned about going above and beyond. Even when Dad was placed in hospice,\nwhich everyone knew was the last stop before dying, they made sure he had a new\nair bed so he wouldn\u2019t get bed sores, new glasses, and new expensive shoes to\naccommodate his hammer toes. It would have been easy to just say, \u201cWhy bother? He\u2019s\nnot going to last much longer anyway.\u201d They didn\u2019t. They wanted only his\ncomfort and well-being.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\nlearned appreciation. It touched me how respected the vets were in the Midwest.\nSome organization was always bringing him candy, comforters, toiletries, or stuffed\nanimals. School classes were constantly sending cards and letters of\nappreciation saying, \u201cThank you for fighting in the war,\u201d and \u201cThank you for\nkeeping America safe.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\nlearned to take joy in simple things like an ordinary Bingo game. When some vet\nin a wheelchair without the use of all his limbs or hearing or sight yelled,\n\u201cBingo!\u201d everyone cheered. There were also Craft Fairs where vets proudly\ndisplayed what they made. When they won a prize, they loved it when you\ncongratulated them or took their picture.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\nlearned compassion. There\u2019s something quite moving about one vet without an arm\nhelping another without his legs. At first the pain of seeing these guys in\nthose conditions was too difficult for me to bear, but soon I had camaraderie\nwith them. We were joking and sharing stories. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\nlearned selfless service. Many who helped at this VA facility were volunteers. Like\nJack who helped the guys bowl with a special apparatus designed to hold the\nball so all the men had to do was push. Each time I visited, I saw Dad\u2019s little\nbowling trophy on his nightstand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\nlearned to be happy for what I had instead of sad over what I didn\u2019t have. When\nmy dad saw me his face would light up! I was happy he knew I was his daughter\neven if he couldn\u2019t remember my name. He\u2019d say, \u201cI know you! You\u2019re my\ndaughter!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I\nlearned even an Alzheimer\u2019s patient can put his trust in God. Each day my dad\nplayed the same tape of old gospel songs over and over and over again. He\u2019d\nsing and sing and sing. \u201cJust a closer walk with thee\u2026\u201d \u201cOh they tell me of an\nunclouded day\u2026\u201d \u201cI\u2019ll fly away, oh glory\u2026\u201d We loved to sing together. When we\u2019d\nsing, \u201cTake it to the Lord in prayer,\u201d he\u2019d look over at me and say, \u201cYou know\nthat\u2019s true, don\u2019t you? Don\u2019t ever forget it!\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

When\nthe Lord finally took my dad home to be with Him, I was thankful for that last\nyear I got to spend with him. What precious memories! <\/p>\n\n\n\n

*****<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

O Father, I can\u2019t thank You enough for\ngiving me my dad. Because of him, it is easier for me to accept You as a loving\nFather. My dad has gone to be with You, and I know You will take good care of\nhim. Please help me be attuned to other fathers and when I see them doing a\ngreat job with their kids, put in my heart to let them know. Parenting is a\nhard job. Everyone needs a little encouragement now and then. <\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A Journal of Joy: Things that make my heart smile\u2026.. Around Father\u2019s Day, precious memories of my dad flood my soul! A lot of them came from his last year of life. It\u2019s funny how your parents seem to age … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5415"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=5415"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5415\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=5415"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=5415"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=5415"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}