{"id":3992,"date":"2017-04-30T09:00:05","date_gmt":"2017-04-30T14:00:05","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.barbdahlgren.com\/?p=3992"},"modified":"2017-04-29T18:10:59","modified_gmt":"2017-04-29T23:10:59","slug":"choose-not-to-be-quarrelsome","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/?p=3992","title":{"rendered":"Choose Not to Be Quarrelsome"},"content":{"rendered":"

One More Year of Choices<\/em><\/p>\n

By Barbara Dahlgren<\/em><\/p>\n

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The instructions in Ephesians 4:3 are clear: \u201cMake every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace.\u201d This is easier said (or read) than done, because people can be very difficult to deal with. And let\u2019s face it, some people are just not as worldly wise or as smart as we are. That\u2019s understandable. After all, the Bible says not many of us highly intelligent and worldly wise are called. (1 Corinthians 1:26)<\/p>\n

However, on closer examination, could we highly intelligent and worldly wise people be part of the problem? Is our zeal to prove we are always right hindering our relationship with others and even God? How important is it to always be right?<\/p>\n

For example, let\u2019s say you are driving down the road and another car is coming towards you. Both of you are in the same lane. You have a right to be in that lane and the other car doesn\u2019t. However, the other car has no intention of changing lanes. Neither do you. In fact, you are adamant about your right to be there. So a head on collision occurs and both drivers die. Yes, you were right. You might say you were \u201cdead right!\u201d But who cares? You\u2019re dead.<\/p>\n

Must we always be \u201cright at any price,\u201d leaving a trail of hurt and sorrow in our wake? Are we overly aggressive and quarrelsome? Do we win the argument, but lose the friend? If so, we might be in danger of being \u201cdead right!\u201d<\/p>\n

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Or are we peacemakers? The Bible doesn\u2019t say, \u201cBlessed are the belligerent;\u201d it says, \u201cBlessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God.\u201d (Matthew 5:9)<\/p>\n

Perhaps qualities like humility, gentleness, patience, kindness, and meekness might help us get along better with others, more than a \u201cmy way or the highway\u201d attitude.<\/p>\n

There may be times when we should stand up, stand up for Jesus, but if we are honest with ourselves, most of our conflicts are over trivial matters. The Bible tells us to avoid foolish and ignorant disputes because they generate strife. A servant of the Lord should not quarrel. They should be gentle to all, exhibiting patience and humility. (2 Timothy 2:23-26) God\u2019s servants should be kind to everyone.<\/p>\n

What is our goal in dealing with others? Do we want to help them or change them? Do we want to change their point of view? Do we want to promote our thoughts and ideas? Or do we want to pray about it, and open ourselves up to the guidance of the Holy Spirit?<\/p>\n

Consider this\u2026 It\u2019s not our job to change people. Only God can change them. Only God can grant them repentance. Only God can make them receptive to His truth. Our job is to love them. We need to be asking God to change us, not the other guy.<\/p>\n

Disagreements are inevitable \u2013 even in the Christian arena. However, Christians should seek to glorify God, not to be offensive or fight. (1 Corinthians 10:31-32) Christians who don\u2019t have a relationship with Christ are more prone to conflicts with others. It seems a shame to fight with those who stand and serve with us at the foot of the cross. Paul and Barnabas had a difference of opinion on how the work should be done, so they separated in a friendly and amicable way. They preserved the unity and peace in the church, even though each had a different serving style. Our way is not the only right way to do something.<\/p>\n

Quarrelsome people do nothing to further the gospel. We are here to glorify God, not to prove we are right.<\/p>\n

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Suggestions for practicing this choice\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

Pray this prayer of David: \u201cLord, keep me from presumptuous sins.\u201d (Psalm 19:13) Don\u2019t \u201cpresume\u201d that you are right and the other guy is wrong.<\/p>\n

Don\u2019t argue. Once you resort to arguing or raising your voice, you have lost your credibility. Remember that it takes two to make a quarrel, but only one to end it.<\/p>\n

There is nothing so small that it can\u2019t be blown out of proportion. That\u2019s why we must keep perspective. Having a cold is not the same as having cancer. Learn to overlook minor complaints and move on.<\/p>\n

Try to change yourself, not the other guy. Matthew 7:3-5 tells us to get the beam out of our own eye instead of looking for the speck of dust in someone else\u2019s.<\/p>\n

Learn this phrase: you might be right. Use it often. Say, \u201cYou may be right\u2026\u201d Even though you might be thinking, \u201cThat\u2019s the stupidest thing I\u2019ve ever heard,\u201d still say, \u201cYou might be right.\u201d Another good phrase to use even more often is: I\u2019ll have to give this some thought and prayer.<\/p>\n

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One More Year of Choices By Barbara Dahlgren The instructions in Ephesians 4:3 are clear: \u201cMake every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace.\u201d This is easier said (or read) than done, because people … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3992","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3992","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3992"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3992\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3992"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3992"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3992"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}