{"id":2844,"date":"2015-05-31T09:00:03","date_gmt":"2015-05-31T14:00:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.barbdahlgren.com\/?p=2844"},"modified":"2015-08-10T17:16:40","modified_gmt":"2015-08-10T22:16:40","slug":"choose-to-forgive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/?p=2844","title":{"rendered":"Choose to Forgive"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>A Year of Choices&#8230;<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>By Barbara Dahlgren from Barbara&#8217;s Banter at www.barbdahlgren.com<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.barbdahlgren.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/Today-I-Choose-to-Forgive.jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-2845\" src=\"http:\/\/www.barbdahlgren.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/Today-I-Choose-to-Forgive.jpg\" alt=\"Today I Choose to Forgive\" width=\"287\" height=\"176\" \/><\/a>Studies show that those who master the art of forgiveness live longer, healthier lives.\u00a0 This means that psychologists, doctors, and scientists are embracing an idea considered mostly theological in the past.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>According to the Mayo Clinic here are just a few of the health benefits of forgiveness\u2026<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Healthier relationships<\/li>\n<li>Greater spiritual and psychological well-being<\/li>\n<li>Less anxiety, stress and hostility<\/li>\n<li>Lower blood pressure<\/li>\n<li>Fewer symptoms of depression<\/li>\n<li>Lower risk of alcohol and substance abuse<\/li>\n<li>Stronger immune system<\/li>\n<li>Less negative emotions like anger, bitterness, and resentment<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>So everyone agrees that forgiveness is good.\u00a0 However, in the words of C.S. Lewis, \u201cEveryone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, unless they have something to forgive.\u201d\u00a0 In other words, it is easier said than done.<\/p>\n<p>It might be easier to embrace the concept of forgiveness if we understand that forgiveness is not necessarily the following:\u00a0 forgetting, reconciling, or restoring.\u00a0 These may come in time after forgiveness, but are definitely not instantaneous.\u00a0 God admonishes us to forgive (Colossians 3:13, Ephesians 4: 32, Luke 17:4), but he does not tell us to trust the untrustworthy, condone unchristian behavior, let everyone walk all over us, or prevent accountability.\u00a0 These perceived misconceptions can block an attitude of forgiveness.<\/p>\n<p>On the other hand, forgiveness is not earned.\u00a0 Many of us play the \u201cif only\u201d game.\u00a0 We think we would forgive someone \u201cif only\u201d they would apologize or admit what they did.\u00a0 But that\u2019s not how forgiveness works.\u00a0 In fact, many people we might need to forgive may never acknowledge they\u2019ve done us wrong.\u00a0 Yet, we forgive them anyway.<\/p>\n<p>Forgiveness relinquishes our right to retaliate, get even, seek revenge, or have an \u201ceye for an eye\u201d mentality.<\/p>\n<p>Now on the surface forgiveness appears to be a selfless act, but it really isn\u2019t because forgiveness is a gift we give \u00a0ourselves as well as others.\u00a0 Sometimes the person we are forgiving doesn\u2019t even know it.\u00a0 Sometimes a person knows it but doesn\u2019t care.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t matter.\u00a0 For in relinquishing this \u201cright\u201d we trade caustic, self-destructive elements such as anger, resentment, and bitterness for peace.\u00a0 We can cross over from being a victim to being a survivor.\u00a0 We can get on with our lives.\u00a0 We can stop the past from dictating our present or future.\u00a0 As Lewis Smedes puts it, \u201cTo forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Consider this\u2026All of us at one time or another have had someone betray us, hurt us, emotionally wound us, or do us wrong.\u00a0 So humanly speaking we think we have a justifiable \u201cright\u201d to hurt back or retaliate.\u00a0 When we forgive, we relinquish that \u201cright.\u201d\u00a0 We let God take care of any vengeance he thinks should take place.\u00a0 (Romans 12:19-21)\u00a0 We trust God to take care of it in his way and in his time.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: right;\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.barbdahlgren.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/Forgiveness-is-a-gift-you-give-yourself....jpg\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright  wp-image-2846\" src=\"http:\/\/www.barbdahlgren.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/Forgiveness-is-a-gift-you-give-yourself...-300x224.jpg\" alt=\"Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself...\" width=\"241\" height=\"180\" srcset=\"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/Forgiveness-is-a-gift-you-give-yourself...-300x224.jpg 300w, https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/Forgiveness-is-a-gift-you-give-yourself....jpg 500w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 241px) 100vw, 241px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>Forgiveness is the first step on a journey to healing.\u00a0 It doesn\u2019t happen overnight.\u00a0 It\u2019s a hard and sometimes long process but truly worth the effort.\u00a0 Fostering forgiveness benefits not only our physical life but our spiritual and emotional well-being as well.\u00a0 Forgiveness is a win\/win situation.\u00a0 When we do it for others, we are really doing it for ourselves.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Suggestions for practicing this choice\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Think about this formula when you are struggling with the process of forgiveness.\u00a0 I read this a few years ago, cut it out, and use it for reference often. \u00a0The first letter of each bullet point spells out the word forgive. \u00a0It\u2019s taken from the article <a href=\"http:\/\/www.justbetweenus.org\/pages\/page.asp?page_id=236478\">The Freedom of Forgiveness<\/a> by Florence MacKenzie in the magazine <em>Just Between Us<\/em>, summer edition 2011.<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>F<\/strong>ace the fact that withholding forgiveness feeds anger, \u00a0 \u00a0 bitterness, and resentment.<\/li>\n<li><strong>O<\/strong>penly admit these feelings to God.<\/li>\n<li><strong>R<\/strong>emind yourself that God, in Christ, has forgiven you.<\/li>\n<li><strong>G<\/strong>ive up your right to pay back your offender.<\/li>\n<li><strong>I<\/strong>nvite the Holy Spirit\u2019s help as you begin the process of forgiveness.<\/li>\n<li><strong>V<\/strong>iew your offender as one whom God will deal with justly.<\/li>\n<li><strong>E<\/strong>mbrace the freedom that forgiving your offender brings.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A Year of Choices&#8230; By Barbara Dahlgren from Barbara&#8217;s Banter at www.barbdahlgren.com &nbsp; Studies show that those who master the art of forgiveness live longer, healthier lives.\u00a0 This means that psychologists, doctors, and scientists are embracing an idea considered mostly &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/?p=2844\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2844","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2844","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2844"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2844\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2844"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2844"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/barbdahlgren.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2844"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}